Friend offering a shower but.... — The Bump
Baby Showers

Friend offering a shower but....

Well, this is not my first, but a surprise baby at the age of 40! My best friend wants to throw me a baby shower saying that I don't have anything anymore and how fun. But I'm worried what others might think. We aren't expecting gifts from anyone! Should I tell her thanks but no thanks?
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Friend offering a shower but....

  • How old is your first? 
  • You are going to get a lot of people here telling you yes and telling you that nobody can force you to have a shower. My MIL recently told me that she is throwing a sprinkle for me, I made her change it from a "shower". This isnt my 1st pregnancy, its my 3rd. We are having twins this time though so thats her reasoning behind it.

    My feelings are this...If you really dont want to have one then say No. If you want to have it, then be gracious about it. Keep it to family...and very close friends if thats what you want. If people are offended then they dont have to come. I also feel like, as long as you arent throwing it for yourself then people cant think badly of you since you had nothing to do with it. I, for one, would not be offended or anything if I got an invite in this situation. Now if this were your 5th baby in as many years and you were trying to have a party/shower, then you might get a side eye from me.

    Good luck with your decision. I hope that if you decide to have one, its a great day for you.
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  • If you don't want one, don't have one.  Tell her "thanks, but no thanks."  Or if you think enough invitees will side-eye it that it isn't worth the drama, say no.

    Ask her if she'd be willing to host a meet the baby party instead if you'd be interested in that and you think she'd be cool with that. 

    DS/LO #1: Born March 2012 DS/LO #2: On his way! Due October 2013 image
  • Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    Your instinct is correct - showers are for first-time mothers, so it would not be appropriate.  But if she'd like to host a girls' get-together (maybe a coffee & dessert thing?) that would be lovely.

  • If you don't want one, don't have one. If your kids are close, don't have one either. Some friends of mine have offered to throw me a shower, our children will be 9 years apart. I'm excited to have a shower {we've made all new group of friends since we had DD basically due to getting older, job change, etc.} and am looking forward to it. But if you're not, don't have one. 
  • Do you want a shower? I think that is the real thing to decide. Some people do showers for every pregnancy, others reserve them for first time moms. Since someone offered to host, only you know if this would be well accepted among your guests.
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