MrsRocky, Laura and other twins come in!

BabyCarryingVessel

MrsRocky, Laura and other twins come in! 

Are you a fraternal or ID twin? What can you tell us twin mamas about what it's like growing up with a twin? What were the good and bad things? Were you in separate or same classes? Would you say you had twin ESP? GAAHHH so many things I want to pick your brains about! Sorry, I hope you don't mind!

BabyCarryingVessel

Thanks Laura! And advice is always welcome! Gosh, I'm sorry about the crappy upbringing, but you've given me a lot to think about. Your mom sounds similar to my dad as far as favoring one sibling over the other. Ugh. I could go on about parental issues, but I better not digress. I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience!

Mrs.RockyM

Growing up, my sister and I always talked about having twins - because we'd know how to treat them - well my sister has fraternal twins and I'm betting they won't be any more or less messed up than we were!

First off, your twins are 2 separate people.  My sister and I AWAYS hated being called the twins. We hated joint presents, hated that we pretty much had to share everything (we were identical - or at least look almost exactly alike, so we even had to share a face).   We had 2 separate names and were 2 separate people and always wanted to be treated as such.  I personally think I have issues and like things to be all about me now, mostly because EVERYTHING I did I had to share growing up. 

One thing my parents always did - which my sister and I always appreciated - was we shared birthday parties, but we always had our own cakes, and we sang 2 separate songs.  (me first, since I'm 2 minutes older).  they also made every effort to make things separate but equal.  DH and BIL constantly talk about how they can't stand it, because it gave us unrealistic expectations about life, but we liked it growing up.  Somehow I always wanted what she had and she wanted what I had.  Sure it's a built in friend, but they're going to fight like cats and dogs, even more so if they're together all the time.  It wasn't till we were in our 20's that we actually started to get along and actually lived in an apartment together after college.  Still, we fight like 4 year olds one minute, and are fine 2 seconds later (our husbands know not to get involved).

I usually know when something is up with her.  When she was pregnant, I had a dream, she also knew when I was pregnant.  She claims that when I broke my arm and they had to push the bones back in place she felt it, but I think it was really just my screaming that made her feel pain. We do find ourselves sending our mother or father the same card, or showing up somewhere in very simliar outfits.  We actually started calling each other just to check what the other was wearing and then we started showing up with the kids in the same oufits, so we just gave up!  

 I say separate classes.  There's just always going to be a sense of competition.  Even if you're very careful about it, others won't be.  Separate classes will minimize it. We did dance class and art class together, and we were even on the same teams when we chose to the same sports, but we were never in classed together.  I think we only had 1 class together in high school.  College was a different story, but we actually chose to go together.  We've always been close, hung with the same group of friends, etc.  Funny enough when we went to college we tried not to hang out with each other, but my roommate was friends with this one guy, who knew another guy, who lived on my sisters' floor - so we all got together to go to a party the second night of school and were essentially introduced to each other! 

Mrs.RockyM

It's draining being constantly confused for someone else.  Even now, I still turn around when I hear someone calling her name. 

BabyCarryingVessel

Thanks girls! This has been enlightening for me. MrsRocky, just last night I was asking DH what we should do when singing the birthday song to them. Two separate songs and cakes it is!!

BabyCarryingVessel

Mrs.RockyM:

It's draining being constantly confused for someone else.  Even now, I still turn around when I hear someone calling her name. 

Oh no, a lot of us don't really think about what that would be like, but it must be terribly exhausting. As a mom of ID girls, I'm getting annoyed when people constantly exclaim they can't tell them apart.  

Mrs.RockyM

BabyCarryingVessel:

Mrs.RockyM:

It's draining being constantly confused for someone else.  Even now, I still turn around when I hear someone calling her name. 

Oh no, a lot of us don't really think about what that would be like, but it must be terribly exhausting. As a mom of ID girls, I'm getting annoyed when people constantly exclaim they can't tell them apart.  

As I'm sure you already know, the more people get to know them, the less alike they look.  

And one more reminder, label pictures or always keep one on the left and one on the right.  For the most part we can tell who is who, but some pictures when we were really little it's hard, even for my sister and I!