Friend's LO update #2

snickersforeveryone

Ok, so take a deep breath before you read this.  I certainly needed some calming techniques.

Crack head husband came and took my friend back home with the baby.  Refused to go even to a regular doctor because the "baby is fine."  He yelled at us for "interfering" and ordered us not to come near my friend again.  Smacked my friend while he was at it when she tried to calm him.  She felt she deserved it and went home with him even though we told her she could stay.  This was really unexpected because he knew we were trying to help in the first place and nothing had changed...I hadn't even had a chance to bring up the ER idea.

He took her cell phone and they have no land line.  So I am in the process of filing a complaint with CPS but have no more info to give them on baby's health.  I hope they get out there ASAP.  I called some other people who know them and they will swing by to check on the baby while we are unable to.

I am wondering if talking to them about my concerns was a mistake...that maybe I should have just quietly talked to CPS and kept an eye on the situation in the meantime.   I feel like I screwed up because now I have no way of knowing if the baby is OK except second or third hand.

danieliza1127

Honestly, with what you've said so far in posts and the fact that you saw him hit her today, I would call the police and explain the situation and ask them to do a well check on the baby and mom.  I think you would get a faster response than with a CPS complaint, at least more immediate anyway, and if they see the baby is in the shape you've seen the baby in, they may get CPS there immediately.  I don't really think this is a watch and wait type situation.

snickersforeveryone

Can you report spousal abuse that isn't your own? I thought you couldn't because it had to be the spouse pressing charges, which she refuses to do.

nesenotes

danieliza1127:

Honestly, with what you've said so far in posts and the fact that you saw him hit her today, I would call the police and explain the situation and ask them to do a well check on the baby and mom.  I think you would get a faster response than with a CPS complaint, at least more immediate anyway, and if they see the baby is in the shape you've seen the baby in, they may get CPS there immediately.  I don't really think this is a watch and wait type situation.

This is what I would do. Although unfortunately I know if she doesnt want to press charges they can not do anything. 

Definitely call CPS. 

And dont feel like you messed up. You are a lot braver than a lot of people. I'm sure a lot of people wouldnt interfere at all and just let stuff happen to a helpless baby. 

snickersforeveryone

OK, I called the police and gave them a run down of what's going on and they said they will send someone out there.  I hope they do and that this helps the baby get into a better environment.

Tink522

So proud of you for following through so thoroughly.  So many people just put blinders on.  That poor baby! Seriously hope that baby is removed and your friend gets some help (though it sounds like she won't take it right now).

hokiemama06

I'm late to this today, but I am super proud of you eaf!  It takes guts to stand up and do the right thing, not just once, but multiple times.  You are a true friend, even if this friend and her H don't understand that right now.  I hope both me and my IRL friends would be as brave as you have been.