TW Thursday

reinedecajun

I'll start today because my husband who I truly love is also a ginormous TWAT! Last night both my older boys had somethings going on so I left Frankie with h for the evening and did what I had to do with my boys. He got him in bed for the night and everything but he didn't put pajamas on him or change his diaper.  I specifically told him to make sure he puts his pj's on because he kicks out of his blanket in the night and his legs get cold if he doesn't have long pants on and he wakes up. Well guess who woke at 2 am because his legs were cold?! Yet I don't know what im talking about. What da fuq ever!

So I get home last night and I had a huge headache from carting around the boys and going to this stupid orchestra concert at the school. So I take some tylenol and lay down on the couch by him and I turned the light off. He turns it back on! Dude I have a freakin headache! WTF, you want me to come "hang" with you but I am in agony so turn off the mother friggin light. We get the lighting situation under control and were hanging watching a movie and he turns and says "I can't wait to fuq you tonight", uh hell no!

A) My head is pounding

2) Saying that statement doesn't make me want to have sex AT ALL

    2a) If thats how our foreplay is going to be from now on. I'm going to need new batteries.

So I told him No and he pouted. Get over it, heres some lotion and the internet is right there go slap happy baby. So after all that I just went to bed. Well this morning he's complaining about not getting any last night? Seriously! You can't go one night? STFU already! 

Oh and he's also a huge Twat because we were talking this morning about what all we plan on doing while the kids are gone to their sperm donor's house. He starts bitching about money and going out of town all the time. Excuse me but im pretty sure we planned all these little trips out together and you were in on all of them. Now you don't want to go anywhere, that's fine. He can stay home and i'll go by myself. Flucking asssshole. 

 

lilahbean13

I don't have a tw yet it's only 6 here but yours made me laugh! Sorry he's being a tw!!

reinedecajun

lilahbean13:

I don't have a tw yet it's only 6 here but yours made me laugh! Sorry he's being a tw!!

Men are just sad little creatures sometimes 

Reilly626

Wow! Can't top that!

reinedecajun

Oh I have more....

I'll nominate my daughter also, she turns into the birthday diva from hell about two months before her bday is even here. It's agony, we all know it's going to happen and theres nothing to prevent it. She's been planning her sweet 16 since she was 10 

Well little miss diva wants this that way and this this way and a purple sky and blue grass and why doesn't the world revolve around me on my bday. I just want to slap the mess out of her when she gets like this. When she gets married I plan to highly recommend a elopement. 

Also im sick of fighting with her every morning about what she's to wear to school.  She comes out her room looking like a hot assss mess. Wrinkled shirts wearing pants 2 or 3 times a week! Who does that??? She also does this messy hair thing where she makes it look like bed head on purpose but in a bun. It takes her a hour to do this! A HOUR FOLKS to make your hair look like you just woke up!!!???

I remember this age I truly do but she's driving me insane.  My family is driving me nuts today.

reinedecajun

chipmunk112511:

Sadly I can already top that.

So recently everyone moved cubes and a few teams were re-arranged in my dept, well I just got lucky and kept my cube but was put on a new team, with new people from other teams...great, wonderful, I didnt like my old boss or anything *uggh*.

Anywho a few weeks ago I came in and was happily munching away on my Kashi cereal when I get an instant message from the woman who I share a touching corner (closed off) of cubes with (no one used to sit there), stating that I am being really loud. I advise her its my breakfast and there isnt much I can do about it, to which she replies that she will take her concerns to management next time....umm really? w/e so I let it go, well she brings it up again in a "joking" (but not really) type of way and I just "joke" (but not really) back at her.

So blissfully I leave for a week and a half, get hitched, go to cancun and relax...that is until I come back.

Yesterday, I decide to eat my apple I brought with me.  So again I am happily working and munching away on my apple.  I finish up (only ate about half as it was fairly large and starting to brown) and throw it in the trash, when out of nowhere I hear her yell "THANK GOD you are done with that apple, I thought you were going to eat the seeds, how freaking rude...."

really? so you cant deal with me eating for 5 min? so am I supposed to leave my desk anytime I get hungry, b/c for me thats a snack every 2 hours and that would be a lot of time spent NOT working.

Anywho, she gets my twat nomination for this week and well everyweek b/c she's just a big ole twat.

What is she a flucking dog? How does she hear you chewing a apple? I would get some kettle chips and popcorn in the loudest bag possible and a giant big gulp with half ice and swirl it constantly and munch my happy asss away. 

I would imagine if she complains to management, they will have to laugh at this. 

reinedecajun

Yep one more...im having one of those days.

 

My mil, no tw thursday would be complete without her. She called yesterday to ask me if she could come early on saturday to my daughters bday party? Not to come to the party but to avoid it. Really? You already don't come see your only grandson now your avoiding my daughters party all together.

My girl was so excited to have her come because her "grandma" doesn't come to anything and now she wont be there for the actual party. I doubt she will come at all honestly, she'll wait until the last minute and come down with sudden pneumonia. But im sure she'll be fine and dandy the next day miraculously. 

breezyblueyez

Its only 440am but the neighbors cat is a giant TW, it was over here on my porch trying to eat my cat at about 2am. It sounded like world war 3 and they knocked my damn flowers over. Wh0res. Scared the crap out of me also. I'm sure ill have more when I get to work

reinedecajun

JennMM:

reinedecajun:

So I get home last night and I had a huge headache from carting around the boys and going to this stupid orchestra concert at the school. So I take some tylenol and lay down on the couch by him and I turned the light off. He turns it back on! Dude I have a freakin headache! WTF, you want me to come "hang" with you but I am in agony so turn off the mother friggin light. We get the lighting situation under control and were hanging watching a movie and he turns and says "I can't wait to fuq you tonight", uh hell no!

 

I love how men think this kind of stuff is a turn on. Maybe in a porn movie.

Yeah he says it all deep and close and sexy like that's going to just make me strip right there. I almost want to say "yeah fuq me the same damn way you did last night and the night before that? No thanks i've read that book".

reinedecajun

Random just because im hating on my kin today..

This is my husband...LOL!

 

reinedecajun

JennMM:

My DH was a twat yesterday. Last week, we were planning what day to have Anna's birthday party on. I initially suggested June 16 but then realized that was Father's Day, so we decided on June 15, which is her acutal birthday. DH was off that day but he was on call so he had to get call coverage to make sure he won't get called in to work. He texted me and said he had coverage and we were good.

Fast forward to yesterday. I had asked him to check his work schedule and decide when he can be off so we can take a trip to the beach. He texted me the dates June 13-15. I texted him back "That's Anna's birthday party." He texted me back "I thought that was the 16th." Um no, doofus and after all the talking he did about getting coverage at work, he put in for the wrong day, so he had to go back and fix that. Seriously, dude, listen. Just once.

This is almost the same convo we had this morning about our trips. Im like dude we talked about this, you gave me input and suggestions and suddenly you forget? I straight up asked him if he just goes on auto pilot when we talk or what because he acted like everything I was telling him was in a foreign language and he NEVER heard it before. 

pinkangelmoon

chipmunk112511:

I say you bring baby carrots for a snack tomorrow!