~~~Epic Fails & Cocktails~~~

stoneycakes

Okay, you ladies have to carry this thread for me today.  DS hasn't really slept for two nights in a row and I'm going to try to take a nap, although I hear him talking to himself in his crib so it isn't looking good, lol.

Your mission: 1) Share a funny story.

                     2) Share your favorite jello shot or naughty cocktail recipe

 

TJ1979

Sleep tight stoney.

Sunday we went to target.  Of course, on the way there, LO makes a huge stinky poopie diaper.  We get to the parking lot, and MH changes her in the car.  And guess who forgot a wetbag?  Thinking we'll just grab a grocery bag on the way out and wrap it up till we go home, MH just folds it up and puts it in the floor of the truck.  Which then sat in the parking lot for an hour and a half.  In 90 degree weather.  Let me just tell you, that was NOT a pleasant trip home!  Learn from my mistake, and put a grocery bag or zip lock somewhere in your car for those just-in-case moments!

I know it's old school, but buttery nipples are just so delicious.  They are just Baileys and butterscotch liqueur.  Even more naughty, do half and half baileys and kahlua in a shot glass, squirt a little canned whipped cream on top, and drink it with no hands.  That's a BJ.

sarenu1

Daycare fail last night. 

I got my daughter home and was making dinner.  I look down and notice her pants are all wet. 

Daycare evidently decided not to button her BG tightly and she leaked straight down her leg.

Needless to say, my daughter was running around in her top and diaper for the last hour of the day.

I love fruit cocktails.  Depending on what's in season, I take a ton of fruit mix vodka and juice and let the fruit soak up the vodka.  Then after I'm done with the drink, I eat the fruit.

I've done strawberries, peaches, nectarines, and pinapple.  I usually keep the drink simple and and do cranberry with vodka, or a cran-raspberry with vodka. 

This would also be awesome in a big punch bowl.

stoneycakes

Well, DS and I both slept for 40 minutes. Then he woke up crying and I nursed him back to sleep.  Now I can't get back to sleep so here I am, lol.

1) DS wouldn't go to sleep for his nap so I picked him up to see if he had a dirty diaper.  I put him on the changing table and peaked into the leg of diaper, but it was dark in his room and I couldn't really tell.  So I stuck my nose into the leg hole and took a big whiff.  Let me tell you, that was a big mistake. Don't do it, ladies.  Just don't do it.  I never want my nose to be that close to poop ever again.

2) I don't have a recipe, but I'm sure you could google this.  At my bachelorette party, we had alcoholic jello wigglers in the shape of penises.  They were hilariously wiggly and stretchy.  Fun was had by all.

Also, I've heard of soaking gummy worms or bears in booze.  You could keep the naughty theme by getting specialty shaped gummies.

TJ1979

Stoney, obviously this check in can't survive without you.
Sorry you didn't get a good nap in. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

stoneycakes

TJ1979:

Stoney, obviously this check in can't survive without you. Sorry you didn't get a good nap in. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

LOL. I think the thread itself is an epic fail this week.  Whomp whomp.

unaveragejane

Here's a funny for you: I am going to a party tomorrow dressed in an oversized metallic gold leopard print sweater, black jeans skirt, lace tights, and satin pumps. I've got curly hair, so I'm teasing it out around a headband. I have my blue eyeshadow all ready to go. I SO hope I don't get pulled over on the way!

Cocktails: I wound up making a pitcher of red sangria, a bucket of mango mojitos, and 12 shots each of strawberry and orange dreamsicle jello shots. I hope it's enough! Now I'm off to go write fun words like "nipple clamps" and "mattress dance" on slips of paper for pictionary.