Need advice on 2yo being around other kids..

AimeeL85

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place with this, don't really know exactly the kind of advice I'm looking for but...

We moved to a new state 7 months ago and I became a FT SAHM whereas previously I worked 3 days a week and DS went to daycare 2 of those days. He did great there and liked it.

When we moved here I didn't really know of many places to take him other than his gym class. I've talked to a few moms there and gotten ideas from them of other places where he could be around other kids, but now my problem is not wanting to take him because of his behavior.

I know sharing is hard at this age, but he pretty much flips out if another kid comes near him - he think they're going to take what he has, or use whatever equipment he's using).  We've taken him to a bouncy place that has big slides and you have to climb up a bunch of stairs to get to the top.  He can do it himself, but if other kids start coming up behind him, he stops, turns around, and freaks out. Today at the store we had to leave the toy aisle because another parent and child started looking at toys he liked, and he got upset. At the bookstore he was playing with a Lego table they have, and when another kid walked into the store, literally like 100 feet away, he got upset thinking they would come try to play.

These are just some examples.  I feel like I am making him sound like a brat, but he's really not....he just for some reason gets easily upset with other kids around.  Because of this I really hardly take him anywhere with kids other than his gym class since we already paid....other than that we hang out at home or go to store each day.  He needs more than that.  I just don't know how to reconcile the fact that he has to be around other kids, with the fact that he doesn't want to.  He likes kids...he's just paranoid they're out to get him. 

Sorry so long, just looking for advice because we really, really need to get out and do more... but it won't be any fun if I spend the whole time taming his meltdowns.

bumpuser8448316

You have to give him a chance to be around the other kids and learn that they aren't out to get him. DS briefly went through so,etching similar but I would just reassure him that the other kids weren't going to bother him. He eventually grew out of  it. 

Ljojo

When my kids have issues in public I like to look at it as a phase and we'll take a little break.  My 2 year old was having melt downs when it was time to leave a play date, so we stopped going for a little bit.  She will get through this phase and we can have a nicer time at play dates and when it's time to leave.  Same thing with going to restaurants.  If they can't handle it and make dinner miserable then we stop going.  And then we will try again after a month and their behavior will improve.  It seems that all 3 of my kids will go through these phases and then get over them with time.  

 So, I guess my advice is to just give him some time and then try again later and hopefully he can get through it on his own.   

new+tothis

QueSyrah:

You have to give him a chance to be around the other kids and learn that they aren't out to get him. DS briefly went through so,etching similar but I would just reassure him that the other kids weren't going to bother him. He eventually grew out of  it. 

This. Take him anyway and leave if it gets too out of hand. My son is pretty good at sharing but he still does that sometimes. I correct it as much as I can but sometimes we end up leaving early because of it. It's totally normal.

nosoup4u

It's the age. My nephew was 2.5 the last time we saw him, and he was *tortured* by all his cousins playing with his stuff, being in his house, etc. etc. It was pretty cute, but then again, he isn't my kid! But yes, what everyone else said, maybe think of a strategy where you can have him take a small break without leaving entirely. Like if you're at the playground and he gets mad, maybe go to an empty area and get him to calm down and then try again with lots of reminders that he can play around other kids. Hang in there, it'll get better!

ta78

My son was he same way. We would just leave if he acted out. He's improved drastically over the year.

chardonnay24

My son is the same way, but he hits and throws screaming, kicking tantrums when someone takes a toy or gets in his way. I've continued taking him to classes and we talk about my expectations for his behavior before we go in. "Okay, A. We're about to go to gym class. Remember that we take turns, we don't push or hit our friends, and we don't throw toys at our friends". And then I helicopter the entire class to intervene when he's about to get aggressive. We have a class 3 times a week, plus playdates throughout the week, so he gets plenty of practice. And he has made vast improvements in the last couple months.

Oh, and it's not very fun sometimes. In fact, I often feel very frustated and defeated after a 30 minute gymnastics class. But then there are times that he shares well, remains calm, and reminds himself not to push friends or to wait his turn, and it's so, so, so worth it.

Dochas

It's totally normal so don't worry about it.  But it is stressful.  I wonder if a music class might be good.  Because each child gets their own instrument/wand etc and they keep changing them.  Then he can be with other kids who aren't trying to get his toys.  Some churches with preschools also have Mommy and Me classes or Mom and child playgroups that are free/low cost.