STMs come in

gardengirl3

Any second time moms to be revising their family/visitor policy from last time?  I found visitors to be very distracting and not restful for me at all...and it didn't help while struggling to learn how to breastfeed to be worrying about when people were going to show up next.  Next time I feel like telling people we're not up to having a lot of visitors and just limit it to grandparents.  Is this rude?

(I'm also not really a fan of letting kids hold LO, esp since our nieces seem to ALWAYS be sick with something or other.)   Not trying to be rude, but I feel like it's OUR baby, not a toy or a trophy to be passed around, kwim?

Opinions?  TIA

williswifey2

I remember having the immediate fam in the L&D room to hold DD as soon as she came.  Once I was moved to the post partum room, I remember fam/friends coming but they didn't stay long.  It didn't bother me.  But if you'd rather wait for them all to come over to the house just tell them so.  I'm sure they'll understand.

keriraine

I'll be letting the baby's siblings hold it, but no other children.  In the room during will be hubby, my mom, his mom.  Afterwards, I'll let all the family that wants to come see the baby but they know not to stay long. 

jlpev

Well yea I'm changing it a little since now I'm introducing DS to his baby sister. I dont want anyone in the room while we do this except for my motherinlaw who is to just take pictures. No talking!!! That was her idea.
Other than that I don't think I will care. I'm having a repeat cs so hopefully I'm not exhausted like last time of being induced for 23 hrs.

PrimRoseMama

I say do what makes you feel comfortable. Its your baby.

vickivt327

Last time my parents and siblings came in the room as soon as I was out of recovery (from cs). This time, because I want some family time with DH and DD first, no one else will be able to come in for awhile. But then I don't mind if they come and go as they please, because they were really good about respecting my wishes and leaving when I was tired/nursing last time.

amarissa85

I am a TTM as well and I live far from family now due to the military so there really won't be anyone around during birth/after. I suspect that I will get a visit from the upper chain of command as is standard but other than that my family may come after baby is born and I am settled in the house.

Mama-Bear

When DS1 was born everyone came to see him.  In one day, I hardly held him at all except to nurse him.  When my twins were born, other than grandparents, I said everyone could come to the hospital on a specific day (kind of like ripping a bandaid off and "getting it over with).  I didn't want people at my house, didn't want to worry if the house was clean, didn't want people coming and going for 2w, etc.

ladybugpjb

NO ONE will be allowed in the labor room except for DH, including my mom. That just wasn't good for me. My labor was really long, and my parents were distracting...even though all they did was sit quietly and assume they weren't in the way. Ha. Last time I discovered that I just wanted to be alone, and I'm not going to feel guilty about that this time.

We don't really know anyone here, so I'm not really worried about visitors. My parents will be watching DS, so they'll bring him by when we're ready for that.

gardengirl3

Mama-Bear:

When DS1 was born everyone came to see him.  In one day, I hardly held him at all except to nurse him.  When my twins were born, other than grandparents, I said everyone could come to the hospital on a specific day (kind of like ripping a bandaid off and "getting it over with).  I didn't want people at my house, didn't want to worry if the house was clean, didn't want people coming and going for 2w, etc.

 

I like this idea too, thanks!  

MrsWilson2013

With my first he was born at 1:52pm on a Friday and people were stopping by off and on from about an hour after his birth till i was discharged around 11am on that Sunday. 

This time i plan on just my labor coaches (DH and my mom) and myself to be in the room for the whole labor and 1-2 hours after the birth for uninterrupted bonding and an attempt at breastfeeding.  The first visitors allowed will be my father bringing my son to meet his baby sister, then my MIL. After that depending on what time of day it is i might hold off on any more visitors until the next day.

When i do allow additional visitors i will ask that NO ONE who has even the slightest scratch in their throat come to visit. Also that who ever does come to not stay long and be aware that i am breastfeeding and will need my privacy.

As far as holding the baby, most of my family and friends have experience holding a baby, so i don't have a problem with this as long as they wash their hands well and don't expect to hold her for very long. 

Liz4444

We aren't going to have anyone come into the L and D room after the baby is born, everyone was in there for too long before the baby was taken to get tests, warmed up, etc, and because she wouldn't latch, it took a very long time to get her temp back up and she and DH were in the nursery for a few hours. We are telling everyone they can't see the baby until I am settled in the post partum room. The only person we will be bringing in before that is DD1.

JaimeCH

We only had some close friends stop by and visit, and it really wasn't much of a hassle. They all seemed to know to not stay forever and it worked out well. We told people we would text them to make plans for when to visit after the baby was born, so we didn't have anyone in a waiting room or anything. 

CindyRelluh

I'll have my parents, DH, dd, my brother and his wife. We are a close knit family, and they are all way more than trustworthy with dd, so it makes me happy to have them there. They won't be there the whole time, I'm having an RCS anyways.

headgear03

I'm on my fourth and final baby and will be doing what I have with all the other kids. No one but whoever is watching my older kids will be notified when I go into labor . Only my midwife , her attendants and my dh will be there for the birth . After her birth no one will be stopping by for at the least six hours longer if its a night birth to allow for bonding and sleep . My mom is generally the only visitor while were still at the birth center so that's not a big deal then we head home somewhere between 1824 hours after the birth where visitors are limited to three at a time and fifteen minutes . My kids won't meet there new baby sister till we get home just something we have always done and it works for us . Ill let my oldest age five hold her sibling with assistance as well as my three year old with allot of assistance . I'm hoping while their going crazy over her ill get to spend some time with my one year old son who's very much a mamas boy . It's going to be very important he gets time with me by himself my older girls are great at sharing my time and helping me .

gajumper

Yes...last time it seemed everyone showed up at the same time...8pm...after a long day for myself, my husband, and the LO...

This go round, since we are having a scheduled C-section, should everything go as planned, we are going to drop my son off at DC in the morning and then head to the hospital.  My mom will come up mid afternoon and pick our son up, then bring him to the hospital to meet his new brother...she will then take him home before dinner time and keep him there while DH and I stay at the hospital alone...no one else is allowed to come in.  The next day the plan is that DH's mom and aunt can come by and see the new baby, but only stay for an hour max...I mean really...what exactly is there to do anyway?!?!

My Mom will keep my son on his "routine" until we come home, hopefully on Friday afternoon...then she will go home for the weekend and we have requested to be alone, just the 4 of us for the weekend while we try and adjust and figure things out.

evelyntaylor

Last time, DS was in the NICU and I actually missed out on the family visits. Once he was out, family continued to keep their distance until it was okay for him to have visitors and it made me more sad than anything. I'm actually looking forward to *hopefully* having an experience where family and friends come visit.

mrsf123

We actually didnt' have too many visitors except immediate family and my one dear friend.  If too many people showed up at once, and I was overwhelmed, we sent the baby to the nursery.  We didn't want too many people around her.  When my inlaws brought my 2 year old niece to the hospital, they looked through the nursery window and saw her that way. We'll probably do the same thing again.

Amanda&EricB

gardengirl3:

Any second time moms to be revising their family/visitor policy from last time?  I found visitors to be very distracting and not restful for me at all...and it didn't help while struggling to learn how to breastfeed to be worrying about when people were going to show up next.  Next time I feel like telling people we're not up to having a lot of visitors and just limit it to grandparents.  Is this rude?

(I'm also not really a fan of letting kids hold LO, esp since our nieces seem to ALWAYS be sick with something or other.)   Not trying to be rude, but I feel like it's OUR baby, not a toy or a trophy to be passed around, kwim?

Opinions?  TIA

I'm revising but in the opposite direction. I was very restrictive/possessive last time and there was no need for it. Our family and friends were understanding and supportive. This time, I will allow anybody to come, at any time (most people call and check first anyway). If it becomes an issue, I'll address it at the time. I don't anticipate a problem. Last time, I had a hard time breastfeeding, and everybody was understanding and gave us space and privacy when it was time to feed him.

gardengirl3

Amanda&EricB:

gardengirl3:

Any second time moms to be revising their family/visitor policy from last time?  I found visitors to be very distracting and not restful for me at all...and it didn't help while struggling to learn how to breastfeed to be worrying about when people were going to show up next.  Next time I feel like telling people we're not up to having a lot of visitors and just limit it to grandparents.  Is this rude?

(I'm also not really a fan of letting kids hold LO, esp since our nieces seem to ALWAYS be sick with something or other.)   Not trying to be rude, but I feel like it's OUR baby, not a toy or a trophy to be passed around, kwim?

Opinions?  TIA

I'm revising but in the opposite direction. I was very restrictive/possessive last time and there was no need for it. Our family and friends were understanding and supportive. This time, I will allow anybody to come, at any time (most people call and check first anyway). If it becomes an issue, I'll address it at the time. I don't anticipate a problem. Last time, I had a hard time breastfeeding, and everybody was understanding and gave us space and privacy when it was time to feed him.

 

Want to trade families?    No privacy here.