After 4 years of struggling with infertility we finally got a BFP after our first IVF attempt. We were amazed and over the moon that we were expecting twins.
We heard their strong heartbeats and saw them wiggling and dancing over a few ultrasounds. Everything was perfect. I had pretty bad morning (all day) sickness and everyone assured me that this was a sign of a strong pregnancy. Never in my mind did I think that I would never get to hold my sweet baby boys.
At 13w2d I was using the restroom when I felt a pop and clear fluid came rushing out. I thought it was strange but maybe another one of those weird pregnancy things that I was experiencing as a first timer. A few minutes later I was doing laundry and felt more fluid running down my legs. It was Sunday so I called the doctor?s office for the on-call doctor. She told me that it was probably not my water breaking because it was too early and even if it was, the clear fluid would be followed with blood. I was told not to worry but to come in the next morning for an ultrasound.
The next morning my husband and I went in expecting everything to be normal but we found out that Baby A did have his amniotic sac broken. The doctor said that there was no reason for it- it just happens. The chance of this baby surviving was very slim but the important thing was to now focus on Baby B and make sure that he is carried to term. I was put on bed rest and told to just relax.
We knew that Baby A probably wouldn?t make it but I held on hope that maybe, somehow, his amniotic sac would repair itself and everything would be ok.
A couple of days went by and on the night of Wednesday April 17 I was about to get into bed when I started bleeding heavily. We called the on-call doctor and were told to go to the emergency room.
After an hour of waiting we finally got an ultrasound and the doctor confirmed that Baby A had passed away but Baby B was still doing well with a good heartbeat.
I think I was in shock when the doctor said that Baby A was already down in the birth canal and he would have to remove him right here in the emergency room. It was a horrifying experience and I will never forget the pain and how much I cried for my baby.
By this time it was 1am and we were admitted to the hospital for the night. I was given some pain medication and told to get some rest. I couldn?t sleep, of course, and started to have some mild cramping. The nurse said it was normal and not to worry. Baby B?s heart rate was still high and everything looked good.
A few hours later I started bleeding heavily again and lost Baby B. I begged the doctor to just knock me out- I couldn?t take anymore. She wanted to avoid a D&C so she gave me a pill to speed things along. When nothing happened they gave me a heavy sedative and performed the D&C.
It?s been almost 2 weeks and I still cry every single day. I never thought that this would happen to us. I never thought that we would have to go to the funeral home to arrange a cremation for our babies. I never thought that I could be over the moon and pregnant one day and then suddenly not. I feel lost and just want them back.
I?m so sorry that we have to write on this board but I feel like I had to share my story because reading all of yours made me realize that I am not alone and that?s a real comfort on these sad days. Thank you for listening.