Fertility issues can suck it!

BabyDustWish · April 2013

My BETA was scheduled for Tuesday however my husband and I decided that we would test on Sunday morning so we would find out together. Almost seconds after finding out it was a BFN, and by finding out I mean dipping 4 tests into my little cup, Aunt Flo shows her ugly face. How does that happen seconds later? I?m very surprised by my reaction this cycle, I skipped right over the tears, right over the why me and went straight to the furious anger! I am so livid I can hardly put the sentences together to explain my frustrations. Why on earth does the mind trick you the way it does during your 2ww into thinking that every pain, sound, smell, sight is a sign that this time it worked? Progesterone my friends is the DEVIL! Shame on you for creating misleading signals that would cause hope! My husband and I spent two years with the top rated fertility doctor in our state. In that two years were told that he would only be willing to attempt 3 IUI cycle and if there was no success we may need to consider IVF. (Always fun to hear when you are an OOP patient) After discussing IVF with Dr. Wonderful, we decided to get a second opinion. I mention this because if there is anything I could ever offer as advice it would be to do the same. ?In the two years you were with Dr. Wonderful why was your husband not treated if the cause is Male Factor? Was the burning question from our new RE. Why was he not treated by a Urologist that specialized in Male Factor? Telling a woman who is ready to move onto IVF because she is tired of the wait that the 3 cycles you completed with another doctor didn?t give you great chances of success because of several factors and that our best option would be to wait 3 months for your husband to be treated and see the effects of the medications was not what I wanted to do, but I complied and this RE was right. My husband SA showed fantastic improvements with the Clomid and Fertility Vitamin and we moved happily and with dangerous levels of optimism moved into another IUI cycle. It still didn?t work, with our best efforts, our best numbers and still a BFN (My F today doesn?t stand for FAT)?? How annoying is that? And what is the next step, do I pretend that this was truly my first effort and continue moving forward with IUI?s for cost purpose or am I mental over the game? I have to fly out of town for 4 days in May and am not even sure if I can complete a cycle. Fertility issues can suck it!