Just need some loving..

bribre1122

So last month when I miscarried, the night I started bleeding was immediately following sex.  So now my boyfriend is terrified to have sex.  He thinks he caused it and he said if I were to miscarry again following sex, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself, he wants this baby more than anything.  I feel terrible that he carries the guilt and I have tried pulling up endless google sources showing him it wasn't sex, but hasn't seemed to sink in.

I don't want to force him, but I can't go the whole first tri with no loving, maybe after my first appt it will lighten his fears...anyone else gone through this?

nola+runner

Not going through the same thing. But have you thought about taking him to your first doctors appt with you and having your doctor explain to him that its not a threat to the baby? 

bethLenell

My DH was really hesitant to have sex after we found out we were expecting again, and he knows it wasn't anything he did. After my first appointment when we saw the heartbeat he got a little better but still holds back and asks if I'm ok a lot during. It may take some time I hope you can get through to him that it's not his fault. 

lisab613

Yeah I agree with the previous poster. I think hearing it from a doctor (or even reading it from a trustworthy source, like "what to expect") might help you.

bribre1122

Thank You! Yes he will be at my first doctor appointment, which isn't for a few weeks. Which I can hold off till then, especially if it makes him feel at ease.

Hunterloren

My DH wouldn't even touch my stomach when I was first pregnant. He didn't want to "Dent his head". It took going to a dr appt with me and seeing how rough they were on my stomach to get him comfortable with it.