So, I just lost it...

Katie5295

OH MAN.

I think I am losing my mind. Today was supposed to be my first day back to work. Its been 1 WK since I found out I was m/c due to HCG levels dropping. I am still bleeding and passing some tissue now. But that didn't start until a couple days after. Thursday to be exact. Well I thought I could do it, I got up showered and headed out the door. Stopped and got some coffee due to the fact I was up all night trying to pep talk myself into this. All that kept going through my mind was "how am I going to deal with this"

I don't think I have shared this yet but I work with the Intellectually Disabled. My client happens to be a grown adult man. He is usually very sweet. But they started adjusting his meds. So he started to get.physical. I told my supervisors I was pregnant as soon as I found out. I expressway that I wanted to transfer to a safer house so I would not risk a m/c due to violence. They were completely unhelpful with a very unnecessary attitude. Well I suffered a blow to the stomach not.to long ago by this client. It wasn't long after that the spotting started. I know everyone probably thinks I am an awful person for what I am about to say. But I just can't get it out of my head that he very well could have caused my m/c. How am I suppose to be able to go back there? And work with him? I know its awful. He has no control. And ever time I think that I feel awful. Its like a never.ending thing. Anger and then guilt.

I didn't even make it halfway to work before I pulled over balling. I knew I couldn't do it at that point. So, I turned around and came home. I am officially a no call no show. And my supervisor has been trying to call. I really don't' want to deal with her right now. She has been rude about this whole ordeal. Upon turning in my doctors note she even asked why I needed so much time off "after all you just went through this a couple months ago, you should be able to handle it" DH is very supportive but I know I did not handle this well at all.

On a bit better note, me and DH actually talked about everything the other night. So we both understand where one another is community is from. It took a little bit of alcohol OOPS but I am glad our communication is improving about this whole ordeal. Sorry it was so long ladies. Thanks for "listening"

panther422516

I'm so sorry katie...I understand your feelings and u have evry right to them...what about getting a dr note to be out longer. Or switching to a different house...I'm sorry your boss/coworkers were not supportive of u...it shouldn't matter what u did before or why u were out....do u have any type of union? I work in a nursiimg home so I understand somewhat..we r here for u..hugs!

Kay6519

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You should talk to HR about your manager / situation. That should not happen. And they definitely should have listened to you earlier when you expressed concerns about violence harming your baby. T&P's!

Serenla

lovedryn:

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You should talk to HR about your manager / situation. That should not happen. And they definitely should have listened to you earlier when you expressed concerns about violence harming your baby. TP's!

What she said, I am so sorry love. When I went back to work after the US that found the baby had stopped growing I kept on having to run to the bathroom to just sob and sob. ::hugs::

margoptaylorton

Why in the world would your supervisor think that having gone through a miscarriage would make going through another one easier?? I have only had one, and I imagine that if I have another, I will be even MORE devastated, knowing the probability of having two in a row! That makes me very angry for you. I hope that you can either move to a different house or get your boss to understand what you are dealing with. And I don't think your feelings toward you client are unreasonable....you KNOW in your head it wasn't intentional, but questioning it emotionally seems natural to me.

Katie5295

Thanks for your support ladies.

It seems I could not make my supervisor understand. When I finally got myself together enough to call them I was meant with the same attitude. I was fired. I know I can fight it but honestly I don't think I have it in me at the moment and why work for them anyways. I will figure it out. I am going to try to find the proper people to go to in hopes I can prevent anyone else from being treated so rudely.

margoptaylorton

Yeah...I won't pretend I know the rules and regulations on this, but you really do seem to have been dealt the short end of the stick from your employer. I would complain to....whoever you can. Bereavement leave? I really don't know, but I can't believe the way they treated you. Please let me know what you find out. I'm in shock at their response and thankful that I have an understanding boss.

kjsx988

I think you definitely have a worthwhile fight. You had a legitimate concern, your supervisor did not address it, your concern became reality and then you were fired because you are in mourning? I would get as much as you can in documentation and fight it! There is no excuse for the way your manager is handling the situation! My heart breaks for you.

havenotmetyouyet

Did you mention the trauma to your doctor...did he/she give advice about returning to work or agree/disagree that it could have caused it. I would feel the same way as you and I totally sympathize...

 But...sorry to say this, if you someone no called no showed at any job I was at they would be fired to. I'm assuming this client needs care, and they relied on you, and now you've proven to be unreliable (with reason, I understand).

I think you'll be able to get unemployment...I would do that and look for a better match

Katie5295

havenotmetyouyet:

Did you mention the trauma to your doctor...did he/she give advice about returning to work or agree/disagree that it could have caused it. I would feel the same way as you andnbsp;I totally sympathize...nbsp;But...sorry to say this, if you someone no called no showed at any job I was at they would be fired to. I'm assuming this client needs care, and they relied on you, and now you've proven to be unreliable with reason, I understand. I think you'll be able to get unemployment...I would do that and look for a better match

I can understand that. I did prove to be unreliable. However, I have been with them for 5 yrs. I ways picked up OT as they asked. I was working 16 hr shifts 5 days a WK for months at a time, on multiple occasions. I have never once before this been unreliable and I have witnessed several people be no call no shows on more the one or two occasions and that have been there much less time then me. If it hadn't been for that I would have expected.to.get fired but Their jobs are still intact. I just think I was shown no consideration. However, I do not need to go back to this job and I know this. I do however have a meeting on Wednesday to discuss how it was handled by the supervisors in hopes that they will ensure that it doesn't happen to someone again. I will let everyone know how it goes.

margoptaylorton

Yeah, I agree with you, of course no one wants a noshow/nocall, but one time in five years with a pretty good reason behind it....I would think you might get written up or a warning or something, but not terminated. Also, when you are in this type of situation, make sure you document EVERYTHING. Write down everything that you can remember that has happened so that you can give a really good account of it. 

havenotmetyouyet

Katie5295:

havenotmetyouyet:

Did you mention the trauma to your doctor...did he/she give advice about returning to work or agree/disagree that it could have caused it. I would feel the same way as you andnbsp;I totally sympathize...nbsp;But...sorry to say this, if you someone no called no showed at any job I was at they would be fired to. I'm assuming this client needs care, and they relied on you, and now you've proven to be unreliable with reason, I understand. I think you'll be able to get unemployment...I would do that and look for a better match

I can understand that. I did prove to be unreliable. However, I have been with them for 5 yrs. I ways picked up OT as they asked. I was working 16 hr shifts 5 days a WK for months at a time, on multiple occasions. I have never once before this been unreliable and I have witnessed several people be no call no shows on more the one or two occasions and that have been there much less time then me. If it hadn't been for that I would have expected.to.get fired but Their jobs are still intact. I just think I was shown no consideration. However, I do not need to go back to this job and I know this. I do however have a meeting on Wednesday to discuss how it was handled by the supervisors in hopes that they will ensure that it doesn't happen to someone again. I will let everyone know how it goes.

my goodness yeah if other people have done it and not been fired WTF...I agree you were shown no consideration...who are you meeting tomorrow .... Happen to have any lawyer friends that would simply attend with you...it would be nice to scare them into some sense...ideal outcome is a return to work with modified duties