Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Feeling like my Dr doesn't care

I am having a hard time feeling like my doctor is truly looking out for me through this. I still have never met her because my clinic won't do first appointments until 10 weeks, and I MCed at 8w4d. 

When my bleeding started, I was seen by another doctor who happened to be available then. He was helpful, but because I decided to let things progress naturally, there wasn't much for him to do for me that day. He said I should work with my own doctor to advise them of how it was going this week and get any follow up care.

So, a few days have passed and I tried to call my doctor to tell them I think the fetal tissue passed and find out what happens next. The nurse never called me back. Today I ended up sobbing on the phone with the receptionist when I called to express my concern and she tried to pass me off to a triage nurse.

My doctor finally called me in person tonight. As I suspected, she thought the other doctor was still caring for me. She apologized for the mix-up, assured me she's on the case now, she's monitoring my labs, she will call me on Friday and I will see her in a week.

Maybe it's just the hormones, but I am still upset. I feel foolish for crying on the phone and but also still afraid that no one's actually looking out for me. The physical process of my MC wasn't actually too unbearable, but every other part of this experience sure is. I'm not afraid to advocate for myself, but I just hate this!  

Re: Feeling like my Dr doesn't care

  • I'm sorry for your loss...but never feel silly about crying...and it sounds like u did right by keepi.ng at them. U have ever right to good quality care. We all do and deserve it...we r all here for u
  • I understand how you're feeling. When my doc did the u/s confirming our m/c, he acted like, "Yeah, I told you this might happen and now it did, so I'm awesome." Then he proceded to tell me that he couldn't do a d&c because he was going on vacation.

    Conceived DD after 15 cycles--- TTC #2 since 11/10---Me- Poor egg quality and supply---DH- Poor count and motility---2 rounds 75IU Follistim/IUI-BFN---5/12 150IU Follistim/IUI-Over-produced! Converted to IVF! 0 fertilized:( Rescue ICSI performed. 2 embryos transfered-BFN

    ---------Game Over---------

    Moving on as a family of 3
    Lou's Infertility News

    <a href="http://s863.photobucket.com/albums/ab199/lillinzlou2/?action=view
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  • Ouch....I don't blame you one bit for feeling neglected. If I were you, since the doctor seems to care that you were feeling that way and seems to be attempting to make up for it, I would probably give her another chance, but you really should do whatever
  • imagelillinzlou:

    I understand how you're feeling. When my doc did the u/s confirming our m/c, he acted like, "Yeah, I told you this

  • Yes, it was nice of her to call, and she shared that she has been thru mc herself so I assume she must have some empathy. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and see how things go. Thanks. You hang in there too.

    ETA this was meant to be a re

  • I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think even in all their education and experience Drs still aren't great at dealing with loss. People are so awkward with negative emotions. Don't feel silly for crying its a natural emotion and what you are going
  • This exactly.  I think it's hard for docs to remember that even though they've been through this lots of times, it's hard when it's your body, your baby, and the end of your first pregnancy.  It's been almost one year from my m/c (6 weeks, so

    TTC since July 2011
     
    Me(33): normal HSG; diagnosed with mild PCOS

    DH(35): normal SA
     
    *6 cycles no meds, July-Dec. 2011, all BFN
     
    *Clomid for 3 cycles, Jan-March 2011: BFP March 2011
     
    *MC at 6 weeks

    *2 cycles off
     
    *Started TTC again July 2012 with Clomid, 6 cycles from July-Dec. 2012, all BFN
     
    *1 cycle no meds: BFN
     
    *1 cycle Femara: BFN
     
    *1st RE visit March 2013 - first IUI in April 2013 with Femara, Menopur, and Novarel (BFN); second IUI in May 2013, same protocol (BFN); two cycle break;  third IUI in August 2013, same protocol (BFN)

    *1st IVF cycle, October 2013 (Synarel, Menopur (75 iu), and Gonal-F (150 iu)) -- BFP!!  Saw two babies at our 5wk5d u/s on Oct. 28th!  EDD=June 25, 2014

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