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July 2012 Moms
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Hi

iheartnjdevilsiheartnjdevils member
in July 2012 Moms

The first time I decide to revisit TB since I left, I find that I have not been forgotten. Obviously, not positively. Not sure why I need to post this. I've tried to convince myself that what is said here about me doesn't bother me but then I'd only be lying to myself so that's why I need to post this.

 

First, what I said about MissMusic was harsh. A lot of the times, she had a lot of good advice, other times, I felt she was really mean for no reason. Like new people trying to join at the end of our pregnancies. Or getting annoyed about another person asking how to post a picture or ticker. Maybe I am too sensitive but I really thought a lot of it was uncalled for. What disgusted me most was how so many people cheered her on when she made others feel like crap. Why is it fun to make others feel unwanted? I don't get it.

 

So for the most part, I just ignored those posts. But then there was a post about not getting anymore ultrasounds after the standard 20 week (https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/66478782/ShowThread.aspx). OP was bummed but MM sarcastically responded, "Congrats on having a pregnancy that doesn't require an u/s because the doc thinks there is an issue." I can't imagine how scary it is to need regular ultrasounds to make sure everything is okay, but i thought that was a pretty rude response. Anyhow, I posted that because of the meds I was on (that can cause low birth weight, and the fact that I was measuring small), I asked my Dr. if he could schedule a growth scan and he obliged. I mentioned to OP that if she had concerns (like if she was cramping more than usual... NOT insinuating she LIE, just providing an example) that she should ask her Dr and see what they say.

 

Lots of people flamed me for suggesting OP lie (which I never did) and that I was the reason for rising medical costs. Again, I understand where the misunderstanding came from and didn't mind this. But MissMusic had to chime in and say, "Btw, are you sure it's the medication that will cause low birth weight or your smoking?"

 

I had posted ONCE about struggling to quit smoking (https://media.community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/64848798/ShowThread.aspx). I thought this was a group I could come to for support. But apparently, I got mixed up with someone else as I was accused of posting about this several times. This was the one and ONLY time I posted about it. (do a google search of: ?site: thebump.com iheartnjdevils smoking?). Someone else with a similar issue chimed in and got flamed as well. Whatever happened to the support system?

 

FWIW, I did quit smoking. I never posted back because I really struggled with it. I would quit a week, then fail and start again. Quit 2 weeks, then start, until it finally stuck. If I posted each time I quit, then have to admit to my failure, I would have been torn to pieces as it was obvious by my first post, that I was not getting any support in that department. I was fine with that.

 

So things were pretty quiet after that. I believe I even got over MM's mean spirited-posts and offered advice on her ongoing neighbor construction projects.

 

Then came the "I feel for your laides" (https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/70704341/ShowThread.aspx) (btw, thanks hijoi for exploiting my spelling mistake. You were the one of the people I really liked in the group so that one really stung). Day after day, I would read about everyone struggling to get their babies to sleep. I truly felt so bad. I wanted to help in the worst way. I wanted to convey that and tried to do so in what I thought was a light hearted, self deprecating (ie. I sleep too much) and maybe even funny post. Obviously, I failed. Miserably. I mentioned that too. But I wasn't going to apologize for bragging about my son either. I honestly believed I was also opening the door for others to brag about their children (which they did but did not get massacred for).

 

Then, Meow84 was lovely enough to post, "I am so lucky and thankful that I was never a smoker. I can't imagine how hard it would be to quit smoking while pregnant. You poor thing, it must have been so hard to continue smoking while knowing you were poisoning your unborn child." I have no issues with people disagreeing with me but when you keep throwing something so sensitive back in my face, it really makes me question your character. While my post may have seemed "braggy" (though that was never my intention), I've never thrown someone's imperfections in their faces.

 

I think there are a lot of mean spirited people on this board and it makes me sad that you are raising children my son's age. I really hope that you teach "Do as I say and not as I do," or the bullying will never end. I'll admit it, I've shed tears over how I've been treated on here and have tears in my eyes as I write this. I know most of you won't care but I guess that's just the kind of people you are.

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