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I NEED HELP! (longgggg)
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I need help for my son, I need help for my family, and I need help for me.
I am in rage right now. I have no control over anything. My son, who is about to turn 6, has no control over himself. He?s been DX?d with ADHD, severe anxiety and has sensory issues. He is on 50 MG of Zoloft and WAS taking Vyvance. I have since taken him off the Vyvance since there was an increase in hyperactivity and it was making him manic.
Here is the problem. My son is ruling the roost. I have lost complete control. I have two other children, one who just turn 4 and another who just turned one. They live in house of chaos. My 6 year old son seems to have this ability to get the last word in. If he is not playing on the iPad or watching a TV, he is ruining something or interrupting or incessantly talking or just getting excited over making people upset. He has social issues and has trouble picking up on people?s cues of when he has done something wrong. He has been getting social skill training at school and they say he is just great there. When I reprimand him, by either taking a toy away or sending him to his room to ?chill out,? he does not know WHY he is there (at that moment)?.about 30 minutes later when he is calm, he then knows what he did and why he was sent to his room. Time outs make him go into orbit, taking toys away only lead to a DAY worth of asking repeatedly ?when will I get it back?? My son should be a professional negotiator because all he says is ?If you?..(fill in the blank) then I will?(fill in the blank).
We have had his autism tested. We worked with a psychologist last year who was terrific, but we had a mutual breakup bc she could no longer help him. He was able to adapt to a new behavior system, and make changes for the better, but when we switched a goal, he would regress and was unable to build off of what he previously learned. Due to his inability to imagine/pretend, she said Biofeedback would not work?so we had to stop seeing her. She referred him to a behavioral-developmental doc, who pretty much is the med prescribing doctor. She offers NO advice.
I NEED HELP so I can HELP MY SON and give my family a CALM, LOVING home to live in. My husband and son are like oil and water. DH does not have the patience, so I play referee and try to educate him on how to handle situations differently. He can say things to our son that are so hurtful, so I am always on pins and needles when I know my son is having a rough day. My 4 year old is as ?normal? of a child as can be. When his brother acts up and has a tantrum, he hides in his room and cries because he is scared. Our 6 year old will scream and throw things and hit his bed, etc. Our 6 year old recently has started hitting me. When he is in a fit, he seems enraged. The other night, he decided, out loud, that he likes to destroy things. He was taking a shower and decided that he would throw wet washcloths and poofs OVER the shower door. I explained to him why he needed to stop. He laughed and did it one more time. I turned off the shower and told him to get out because he was destroying my bedroom carpeting. He told me, with this callous smile on his face, that he likes to destroy stuff. So?I calming went into his room, took one of his toys, and proceeded to break it into pieces. He became enraged and started punching me. I was flabbergasted that he was hitting me. I calming called for my husband and said ?He is hitting me!? and my DH proceeded to start spanking my son. We do not spank, so this was shocking to me?.I got DH out of the room, held my son in my arms to control him from his fit. After 5 minutes of this, I looked in his eyes and told him that we do not hit one another. He looked at me blankly. All he wanted was to know about his toys. He could have cared less that he hit me, or even recall that he was acting up in the shower.
We have met with two other psychs over this past year, but they were not the right fit. Once said that they could not help since we did everything already with the other psych over the summer. The other one didn?t understand why we were there.
I need help. I need ideas. How do you get through to a child who gets in the last word? Who seems to NOT have a conscience? Who could care less how he makes people feel? I used to be a teacher and have used EVERY chart, behavior system, reward, positive reinforcement, etc that I can think of. My son gets OCD over it. We cannot do tangible rewards now since it?s all he wants. One thing I do want to add: He is good at school and awesome at Karate!
I really think that I am literally raising a psychopath. I am not saying that to be mean or hurtful. I have not encountered a child that is so full of love, so jolly and then the next minute things are horrible and uncontrollable. I cannot say that HE is coming between my husband and I, but knowing that I am feverishly trying to find ANYTHING that will help our family, while my husband just points fingers and deals with things ?his way.? Is coming between us. My other two children are happy, but I know that all this is going to start effecting my 4 year old.
I have no help. I get lip service from family. I am losing my mind and I have nowhere to turn for help. So here I am, asking a bunch of Internet strangers for help.
What can I do to help my son and my family? We are falling apart at the seams and I just need ideas to make us function. How do you gain control over a child who is out of control?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I NEED HELP! (longgggg)
Yes, tried 1,2,3 magic...many times. If there is a book, it's been read. This has been a 4 year process.
We use the world-reknown Cleveland Clinic. Our son was formally autism tested last year. That is when he got
We used Cleveland clinic and thought they were amazing, but my boys have genetic issues, not autism. Did you go to main campus? Their shaker campus spec