Planning for Grandma's to provide childcare *long*

Wingit

So my mom will be retiring soon, just in time for me to get back to work from maternity leave.  She'll have our DD around 22 mo and DS that will be around 2 mo. 

Here's the catch!  MIL is dying to retire too and looks like it could happen for her within 1 year or less.  She will be inheriting some money soon which will help her pay off her house and put her in a position to retire.  .

So now I'm trying to figure out how we're going to work things out to give both grandmas equal time with them, figure out how much to pay them, make sure there is some semblance of consistency for our kids. I don't want them at a different house every day and I have reservations about our moms becoming the babysitters vs just being regular grandmas. We know we're incredibly blessed to have the offer from them and that it will be great for kids to have the opportunity to be around their grandmas so much.     Anyone else have experience with this. Do you have a schedule that works well?
One week with one grandma and next week with the other? MWF with one, Tue/Th with the other then switch the next week?

breathlessbride

Your child is not a candy bar to be divided equally among all parties.

Pick the childcare option that works best for you and your child, and the granmas can just deal with it.  It doesn't matter what you choose, even if you go with both, som

danigirl7181

My parents watch DD and will watch this new LO when he/she is 4 months old. I work night shift (7pm-7am) 3 nights a week and each week is different, DH is on 1st shift right now but will probably go back to 3rd the end of this year. He has a

laurakaz13

Did your MIL even offer to be potentially full-time childcare for your kids?  If not, then maybe you won't have to worry about this. 

As for your mom, I would absolutely pay her to watch two small children!  Absolutely!  </

shannm

I would find another provider for M-Th and then let grandmas take turns on Fridays.

*sparky*

I agree with everything mullenem said.  Who knows how things will be a year from now, and your oldest child is likely to be in some sort of preschool a couple of days a week at that point anyway, at least for a few hours.

My dad and his wi

amyc216

My mom is the main DCP for us.  My MIL wanted to help out as well after DS got a little older.  I wanted the schedule to be consistent so we gave MIL mondays.  MIL would watch DS at my house and my mom would keep DS at her own house. 

sadie+w

My SIL, MIL, and mom all care for my LO during the week. They all come to my house. I think that is key. I wouldnt want him going different places every day. I love that LO is with his grandmas and aunt. I just tell them his rough schedule and they f

DiveFrog

Ditto pp's on the who knows what things are going to realy look like in a year. I would definitely NOT stress over this issue at all unless your MIL has specifically brought it up with you and your DH. And even then, you guys have a year to figure out

EastCoastBride

breathlessbride:

Your child is not a candy bar to be divided equally among all parties.

Pick the childcare option that w

kross605

I agree with pp...if MIL isnt retiring for another year, why worry about it now? So much can change in a year with any of the parties involved, its useless to plan it now. 

If /when the time comes when both grandparents are involved, Id sugg

mben1119

Why would you assume your MIL will want to care for your LOs when she retires in a year? Maybe she can't retire in a year. You don't know her situation and can't predict the future. Don't borrow trouble.

blushingbride_08

I would have 1 primary grandmother for the caregiver and the other grandmother for date nights or evenings if you need to go out. I would try to have a consistent weekday schedule for my LO and stay only with 1 grandmother.

JulyMomma2U2

laurakaz13:

Did your MIL even offer to be potentially full-time childcare for your kids?  If not, then maybe you won't ha

Dukos

My DD is 2 and my mom watches her 2 days a week, we have a nanny 2 days a week, and my MIL watches her one day a week while DH and I work full time. Everyone comes to our house.  It it a total juggling act, but it works very well for us.

Fir

Mustardseed2007

I may be wrong but from the OP's post, it sounds like both grandparents have offered. It doesn't sound like she is assuming anything.

We have family watch our LO and it works for us, it really does. But I would be prepared to qu

Kie310

It's not full time, but my MIL has my kids on Mondays & my dad has them on Fridays. They are in DC the other 3 days. But yes, it works out great. We have done this since my oldest was 10 weeks old & my 2nd just followed the same schedule when I

fancynewbeesly

My MIL is the primary care person for my daughter. My daughter goes to her house. Last year she watched her 3/4 days a week. This year it is 2/3. My daughter is flexible and has many different people/places she goes to. Monday & Thursday she is at

jess9802

My mom watches DS at our house during the work week, and that arrangement has worked exceptionally well. She does dote on him, but she is very good about following my instructions about napping and feeding. We are very fortunate that it has worked out

asyph107

I agree with other people, don't try to predict too much. If your mom can and wants to watch them full time go with that. Also try to keep the kids in one place as much as possible. I also loved someone else's post about finding a M-TH provider outside of

Wingit

Thanks for all the different perspectives.  I did leave out some info though.
both are dying to retire to watch our kids full time!  MIL is practically racing against my mom right now.  The only reason she isn't retiring sooner is that

skibunny59

Both my mom and MIL are retired and both live 15 minutes from us.  For us, it was easy to figure out which grandma DD would be with.  MIL and FIL are both retired and vacation A LOT.  For example, right now MIL is in Florida for 3 weeks.

skibunny59

Mustardseed2007:

Also, a lot of it is in your attitutde and expectations. I'm very laid back with my family (sister

skibunny59

Mustardseed2007:

Also, a lot of it is in your attitutde and expectations. I'm very laid back with my family (sister

jules607

My mom watches my DD two days and she goes to daycare the other days. It works for us and my mom follows our instructions. But MIL isn't retired yet! If she was I know she would want to watch her equal time and I think that's too much inconsistency, pers