what makes most sense here?

SunAndRain

Dd's first birthday is July 8. We are planning a pool party for our friends and their kids, ages 1 yr to 12, mostly toddlers. More pool party with a birthday twist.

As for the date of the party, my option is to hold it on the previous Saturday but that is only two days after independence day.  Will everyone be partied out or out of town? Other option is to hold it on July 4th but I prefer not to celebratre dd's birthday on a holiday and my friend's son turns one on July 4th so really I would be imposing on his birthday.  I don't want to hold it after her birthday because i always felt like the moment has past.  Would two days after Independence day really preclude guests from attending?

Other issue is MIL.  Mil has made it clear that she is opposed to a big first birthday party. That is fine by me - it isn't her decision to make. She doesnt enjoy being around a lot of children.  Should I invite family to the pool party or have a family only birthday brunch on Sunday?  I don't want my in laws to feel slighted. I might just ask her what she prefers. I'm not thrilled about having two b-day parties for my one year old but it beats one big one with a few grouchy guests.

OK, and lastly the question I already know there answer to but can't stop myself from asking anyway... Is there any acceptable way to let guests know that gifts are not necessary? 

golfbride11

Personally, I would hold one party on the 13th.  If your MIL is anything like mine, she'll find a way to be grouchy no matter what you do.  So, I wouldn't go to the bother of a second party to make her happy.

Trying to plan a party on a

RondackHiker

I wouldn't have an extra party for your MIL. Let her know about the party and tell her you understand if she choses not to attend since she doesn't like the idea of a large party.

If she makes a fuss that she wants to celebrate, say you canno

sadie+w

I would not attend a bday party on a holiday weekend. We are always out of town. That said, if the majority of your friends/family stay in town for holidays, then they'd probably enjoy a pool party. Can you do it the weekend after the 4th?

EastCoastBride

Don't have it ON the 4th.  Do it on the 6th or as a PP suggested, the 13th. 

As for your MIL - ignore her.  I seriously would NOT alter your plans because of her, or start the precedent of having 2 parties in order to appease HER

526SadieSadie

Since it's a holiday weekend, I think you might be better off having it the Saturday/Sunday after the birthday OR the weekend before (last week of June).  4th of July weekend is usually filled with family/friends events (for us, anyway)

DD

EastCoastBride

To add- when you say invite "family" to a brunch instead- who does this include?  If it's anyone other than MIL, what if THEY would have preferred to be invited to the big pool party?  Why do they now get relegated to a "family" party just be

SunAndRain

OK, I agree with you all on both counts.

I need to get over my dislike of having birthday parties after the birthday.  This is going to be an issue for DD every year so might as well start now doing what ensures most guests can make it.&nbsp

Kissty

I understand you don't want to do the party after her b-day, but for me I wouldn't be able to attend on the 6th.  We have always gone on vacation the week of the 4th. So no, I wouldn't be available because of tr

*sparky*

EastCoastBride:

Don't have it ON the 4th.  Do it on the 6th or as a PP suggested, the 13th. 

As for your

EastCoastBride

SunAndRain:

The trick is to get DH on board with this - he is all about yes'ing me and then agreeing with his parents so as n

jlaOK

I'm a fan of having the birthday part after the actual birthday.  DH and I do a family part on the day of with cake and our presents.  I like it this way because the actual birthday is the first one (and therefore exciting).

I wo

Stasi

I would have it the weekend after...I bet this won't be the last time you aren't able to celebrate on or before LO's birthday. We are in the same boat as you, my MIL is going to be out of the country until the day before our DD's birthday, so we have t

littlestjerry

My niece's b-day is July 4th, and I never care about celebrating her b-day on/around that day. I also think celebrating the weekend after is fine, though.

Your MIL should suck it up. I would not have a separate family party unless YOU want to.

semdkm

I'd say of the two options, I'd go with the 6th, but know a lot of people may, in fact, be away.  I wouldn't hold two parties just to suit your MIL.  It's  your child, your party to plan, she should be happy to celebrate regardless of yo

mexicolombiana

SunAndRain:

Dd's first birthday is July 8. We are planning a pool party for our friends and their kids, ages 1 yr to 12, mostl

kmz885

I've seen parents write on invitations "no gifts please."

sugarbear0524

My son's 2nd birthday is on Memorial Day this year. I'm having his party 2 days before (on Saturday). At this age, he doesn't care if certain people are there or not. I'll invite his little friends from church but if they can't come, it's no big deal.

cmsdouglas

My birthday is July 8th (it's a pretty good day!) and I don't ever remember having any problems with people not making it to my birthday parties.  We always had them whichever weekend was closest to the 8th.

 Don't do something separate

skibunny59

My first choice would be the Saturday after her actual birthday.  A holiday weekend is tough for a lot of people and they may be out of town.  I actually prefer having parties the weekend after the actual birthday.  I really wanted to do

MommyKayla11

I would definitely not hold it on the 4th!