Need Help w/Tricky Situation - MIL Health Issues and the Baby

lauriebe

My mother-in-law has a number of health-related issues, and as a result, her balance is off, and she has trouble getting up from a couch or chair without using her arms as support, among other things. She has tripped and ended up with stitches in her head, and fell off of a curb after Thanksgiving dinner last year clear into the street, just as examples. 

I am expecting a boy in July and I am not comfortable with her walking around with the baby, especially at the beginning and up stairs, or getting up from a chair or sofa with the baby.

I am planning on having a conversation about this with my husband, but not sure how to position the conversation so he does not go on the defensive. 

Any help is much appreciated.  

[Deleted User]

MollusksWrangler:

I would think she wouldn't be comfortable with it either. Talk to your H but I can't imagine it would be an i

aforst

I'd also be interested to know if she is in denial about things.  As far as talking to your husband, just come from a place of concern for both your MIL and your child.  I'm sure your husband doesn't want anything happening to the baby either.&n

EastCoastBride

I agree w/ the others - you're kind of putting the cart before the horse.  I'd HOPE she's aware enough to know her limitations w/ a baby.  And plus - your DH may already be aware of these issues too. 

Once the baby is here - keep a

RayRay007

MollusksWrangler:

I would think she wouldn't be comfortable with it either. Talk to your H but I can't imagine it would be an

seahorse102410

We have this problem with my FIL.  It sucks.  Hopefully she won't give you a hard time about it.

EastCoastBride

I wanted to come back to this- I was like you.  I thought almost TOO much about all the "what ifs".  Now, to a degree, some of it worked out.  MIL hasn't shown a ton of interest in DS, and DH was aware of the issues himself.

Howeve

lauriebe

Thank you all for your insights. I think a lot of my concern is coming from the fact that she doesn't live nearby and will feel the need to overcompensate for not being around all of the time. She is also very passive and doesn't speak up until after the

Amelia4

I have similar family members. My husband's grandma is overly cautious around my son.  My dad, on the other hand, doesn't accept some of his limitations. When LO was teeny tiny (say a week or two old), the rule was that everyone except my H and I

Fianschneid

I would guess she's concerned about holding her grandson, too. I had two relatives that weren't in great health when DD was born. One told me he didn't feel comfortable holding her, the other asked to hold her only sitting down with me next to her. </p

lauriebe

No other LOs in the family. We're the first! Many of her actions (unrelated to the baby) have been self-serving, which I hope would be different when it comes to a tiny human. I have no basis for comparison unfortunately.

LaurelBee

I just wrote out a long winded reply, but it turned more into a rant than helpful advice! We still battle my Fil on things bc he refuses to admit his limitations. He picks Ds up and throws him around all the time and I have to be the one to say somethi

PrideandJoy29

I would talk about it with her and express your concerns. I'd be scared for that as well.