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Emotional day

violetmarie61516violetmarie61516 member
in Infertility
I'm feeling very emotional and anxious today for some reason.  I woke up twice last night from nightmares.  DH actually woke me up with the first one, apparently I was screaming.  Work is so slow and the time is not passing quick enough.  I've had a headache for what feels like a week or more.  I pulled my neck muscles a coulple weeks ago and I thought they were getting better but today they feel worse again, probably from the nightmares last night.  I just took some time of work two weeks ago but I still feel overwhelmed and need a vacation.  UGH.  Thanks for listening, vent over.
TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements
Sept '11-April '13 ~  Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! 
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
Lilypie Maternity tickers


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Re: Emotional day

  • chucktgirlchucktgirl member

    I am so sorry you're having a bad night/day! I totally feel you. I woke up with my heart racing at 4am, then 5am this morning. Can you maybe try to work a massage in today? It might help your neck and your nerves. I hope you sleep better tonight!

    <p

    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
    My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
    Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins    .
    First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
    First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
    IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
    ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
    IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
    ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
    IVF #3:     NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
    ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN
    IVF #4:     (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
    ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
    ***Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
    IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
    BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
    2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
    2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
    2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
    IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
    5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
    6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
    7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
    EDD 3/18/15!

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  • Sunny BSunny B member

    I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a bad day :( Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better... and then the next day even better than that.

    Hang in there!

    TTC since May 2012
    Me: 32 H: 31
    DX: MFI-Very Low Count, I have Hashimotos.
    IVF prep September 2013 cancelled due to Ovarian Cyst
    IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI  ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
    ET delayed due to OHSS 
    FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
    FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN 

    All welcome!
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  • BrideJackie11BrideJackie11 member
    I am sorry that you are having a bad day.  Throughout the IF process, it has been hard for me to take time off and relax on a vacation because  I have only be using days for IF related procedures and appointments.   I agree with ChuckT

    <Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Married June 2011 Dx: anovulatory due to prolactinoma (1.5cmx 1.5cm in 2006)
    April 2012: MRI- questionable cyst 8mg by 12mm in pituitary ; referred to RE by Ob-gyn after amenorrhea x 4+ months, provera ineffective, low estrogen level
    cycle 1: May 2012, clomid 50mg; cycle cancelled, thin lining, no response
    cycle 2: June 2012, femara 5mg; cycle cancelled, no response
    cycle 3: July 2012, femara 7.5mg; cycle cancelled (largest folli on Cd12 & cd 16: 11, lining 4)
    Repeat MRI July 25,2012- Cyst unchanged, likely old infarction.
    Aug. 8: met with RE, move to injectables if HSG and SA normal
    Aug. 23: HSG all clear; DH- perfect
    Switched to a new RE in early Sept. IVF here we come
    Genetic testing reveals: Fragile X- Intermediate risk/grey zone.
    IVF#1: ER 11/30: 14 retrieved, 10 mature, 7 fertilized. E2 prior to trigger 5200. Decision made to freeze 6 embryos and transfer later due to OHSS.
    IVF#1.2/FET #1: estrogen injects start 1/18, FET delayed to try to thicken lining. lining 5.4mm. FET- 2/18- transferred one 3AA expanded blast. BFP 5dp5dt. Beta #1- 2/27 9dp5dt- 102.27 beta #2 3/1: 147 :(, beta #3 3/4: 268 told to stop meds and let nature take its course. requested 4th beta (3/6); Beta hell for 2 months.

    FET # 2: endometrial scratch 5/6, added estrace vaginally and ASA to delestrogen and PIO. June 10- transferred one 4AA hatched embryo, BFP 4dp6dt, Beta 1 (9dp6dt) 187, Beta 2 (11dp6dt): 412; Beta 3 (15dp6dt ): 4452. U/S #1- one beautiful embryo with a heartbeat of 133 at 7 weeks.  8 weeks: heartbeat 156. EDD 2/26/2014: born 2-3-14 induced due to Pre-E and HELLP at 36w5d.

    12/1: met with RE to discuss trying for #2


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  • violetmarie61516violetmarie61516 member
    Thanks ladies.  A massage is a good idea but I think probably from DH would be much more in the budget right now.  ChuckT, I too get sad when I see my Eeyore but I love him so I don't want to get rid of him.
    TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
    Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
    DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements
    Sept '11-April '13 ~  Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
    January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
    February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! 
    March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
    July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
    Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
    New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
    January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
    April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
    DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
    July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
    7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
    7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
    7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers


    Report Reply
  • sorrellam30sorrellam30 member
    Vent away! I'm sorry you're having one of those days...I hope things turn around for you soon

     


    imageimageimageimage

     
     

    *******siggy/ticker warning***** 

     Me(31). DH (31)

    DH SA normal count and motility, 1% morphology
    Me .72 AMH, Fragile X premutation carrier
    IVF #1 (6/12/13) BFN

    IVF #2 (8/16/13) BFN

    FET 10/4/13 Chemical

    IVF #3 MC 5 weeks 5 days

    IVF #4 DE 11/7 BFP, edd 7/28/15

    All Welcome

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • NJHopefulNJHopeful member
    Hang in there....some days are just like that.....and it stinks. HUGS!
    TTC for baby #1 since March 2012 DH SA- ZERO Jan 2013, Low T, started clomid. Up and down swimmies since. Me- Ovulation dysfunction, low progesterone, hormone levels all off http://babydreamsinnj.blogspot.com
    Report Reply
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