Parenting

Help with my high anxiety 4.5 year old

DS has always been very sensitive and anxious.  He has been in preschool the past 2 years and we have seen gradual improvement, especially over the last year. He was able to make eye contact and wave hi to people (whereas he used to just look down and away), he was able to run off by himself at his friend's birthday parties and was willing to try new things as long as we were there with him.

 Over the past few months, we've noticed that he has regressed and is almost back to where he was before he started school.  He has no problems in school or in any place where he feels comfortable, but once he is slightly out of his comfort zone, he gets very anxious.  (He was able to make a few good friends with some of the boys in his class, so he is fine while at school.) 

But he is back to clinging to my leg and his friends' birthday parties.  He doesn't show any anxiety about going prior to the party.  He is actually pumped and excited about it and talks about what he'll do at the party non-stop. But as soon as we get there, he doesn't want to go in, he will cling to me, say it's scary, etc.  I'll let him hang out with me on the side for a little bit, but I'll slowly encourage him to sit next to one of his buddies.  Sometimes he'll eventually go over during the last 10 minutes of the party, but otherwise, he'll just stand next to me the entire time. He refuses to try or go anywhere new.  He would probably love it best if he just stayed home all day.  If I have to drop by a friend's house, it's a huge ordeal for him.  As is going to Sunday School.  He used to march right in and show DD where to sit.  Now he refuses to stay there unless we stay with him. 

It is getting to the point where it is now rubbing off on DD and she is starting to say she is scared of everything...and she was always Miss Fearless!

The only major change we've been through recently is that we moved to a house 5 minutes away a month ago.  He seems to love the new house and the regression started prior to the move.  We're trying to figure out what triggered the regression since it seems to be getting worse. 

Is this just a developmental thing that they become more anxious around age 4-5?  Is there anything I can do to help him deal with the anxiety? 

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Re: Help with my high anxiety 4.5 year old

  • The most important thing is not to make him feel bad about being anxious. I think we can cause kids to feel shame in subtle ways without any bad intentions. Like if you are at a party and he's clingy and you say something like, "Look all your friends a

  • My son has severe anxiety, his first preschool told me they didn't know how to handle him and we ended changing schools.  His current school has worked wonders for him, he is doing so much better this year we are all amazed.  Some things that

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