concerned: is this normal?

snickersforeveryone

Last night a friend had her baby.  My mom and I went to see her. 

A little backstory: Her husband is a waste of space.  He's sold their things so he can buy crack before, and he has also hit her a couple of times, even once when she was first pregnant.  She's from Thailand, so her culture is completely different.  She got pregnant before she was married, so she was basically forced to marry this guy.  Her life is pretty sad at this point.  Some of it she could have changed, but because of her culture she didn't believe she was capable of making those different choices.  

She's been mostly upbeat the entire pregnancy, planning what she needs and how she's going to raise the baby with a jerk of a husband.  But last night at the hospital, I was so concerned for her.

First, the husband met us and told us that my friend was so "dramatic" about the pain, and that she was just "not strong" and couldn't handle it.  Then he told us that they didn't need any help when the baby came home because it wouldn't be very hard.  Then we finally saw her.  She refused to hold the baby.  At one point her husband even tried to hand her the baby, but she kept her arms rigidly by her sides and told him no.  She also said the baby cries too much.  She actually made a face when the baby cried, like the baby annoyed her.  She was very quiet in her refusal to bond with the baby, but very adamant as well.

I am so worried for her.  Her situation is pretty bad, and she's had trouble with suicidal thoughts in the past.  Her reaction to the baby makes me wonder if she could be a danger to herself or the baby when she gets home.  But then again, I know that all mothers react differently to babies when they are first born.  I've never heard of a reaction like hers, but maybe it's still normal?

I just don't know what to do to help her.  Her husband keeps her fairly isolated.  What do you all think?

JustcallmeGG2

hopefully the nurses and social workers at the hospital are picking up on this and will do something?  not sure what they would/could do though.  I know they made me do that PPD inventory twice and the social worker visited us a couple of tim

elizdg

also, if you really think this is going to be a bad decision to take the baby home right now, I would voice your concerns quietlynbsp;to a nurse.nbsp; for the baby's sake.

Yes, I would be concerned, mostly about the way she

lilahbean13

I would call the hospital! If something were to ever happen to that baby and you knew you could have maybe prevented it I don't think you could ever forgive yourself. For the baby's sake I would call

reinedecajun

Nothing about this seems right to me, but to each is own. She seems like she's in a horribly awful situation and maybe it will take a day or two for her to snap out of whatever fog she's in. I agree with pp that you mention something to a counselor at the

PaMommy02

I would quietly bring this up to a nurse for the sake of the baby. Ask to speak to the nurse supervisor on the floor to make sure it gets passed along to the appropriate person. Good luck