One & Done Due to Age

aeh72

Hi everyone! I'm a potential one-and-doner and was hoping to get some insight from those who are one-and-done due to their age.

My history - I'm 41 (had DS when I was 40). My husband will be 45 this year.  We feel so blessed to have had DS. He's a healthy, happy, amazing little guy who is the light of our lives.  Our feeling is that in an ideal world - mainly meaning, if we were younger and felt like we could wait 3 years in between kids - it would be wonderful for DS to have a sibling. I'm not on birth control right now, and although we are not actively trying, we also aren't actively trying to prevent getting pregnant.  However, if we do not get pregnant this year, then we would be done trying.  So, age is likely what will make us one-and-doners.  I'm having a hard time emotionally coming to terms with that.  I can't shake this terrible feeling of guilt that DS won't have a sibling.  Has anyone else had these feelings and come out the other side feeling okay in the end?  How did you get there?

TIA for any words of wisdom you may have to share.

And, I'm so happy to see this board!  Knowing this is likely to be our situation, I'm already lurking frequently to get insights and ideas about parenting an only child!

TexaninNC

I'm right there with you --- 39 when i had DS, and in addition to age i had pregnancy complications. We're pretty much at the point that we dont' want to tempt fate twice...we were so blessed with our little man even though things were quite scary for a w

jb2rn

Welcome!

We are in a similar situation. I am "only" 36 and a half, but I have some IF and was lucky to get one take home baby. We aren't ready for another, but I could see it being appealing in another two years or so. However, I don't thi

superaunt

i'm 40 and one and done. age plays a role in it but, it's more than that. i adore kids and wouldn't mind having a house full of them but... i'm tired. and when DD was born, i just knew our family was complete. and then i hear stories or see family with

kristennd

Age is a huge factor for us. LO was due on my 40th birthday and now he's almost two. And, like you, we'd need more like a three year gap between children.

My own pregnancy complications were not age-related but there's a lot of stress around

aeh72

wonknessmonster:

If I were 10 years younger it might have been a different story, but my life journey is that my DH and I f

kristennd

aeh72:

wonknessmonster

robynlesley

While not the only reason, my age was certainly a big reason why I'm one and done. Had DS at 39 and my DH was 38. 

katieh1017

::comes out of lurking::

I had L when I was 37 after close to 2 years of TTC. DH and I had always said we were 1 and done, then I had her and she had colic, reflux, just high needs in general, I got PPD and that sealed the only deal. Latel

golfbride11

I was 38 when I had DS (turned 39  two weeks later)  Relatively easy pregnancy, not so easy delivery but I wanted another right away.  We started trying when LO was 7 or 8 months.  Since then, I turned 40, then 41, then almost 42 and n

PunkyBooster

I have a good friend in this situation- she is 42 or 43 (I can't remember!) and her DS is 2.5. She wants to give him a sibling, but she has had no luck conceiving another, so she is 1&D now. However, they are exploring adoption for later on- maybe

NBBride05

It took us 3 years to get pregnant, I turn 42 on Friday, DH will be 44 in July and so we are definitely just thankful for our girl. I loved being pregnant, but after having had a c-section, that also factors into my desire to have just one. I am an only c