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Family Blaming Military

I try to talk to DH's mom's side as little as possible due to several reasons. Recently they have all started asking when DH's contract is up so that we can move back to the area. DH has decided to extend and his family is blaming him, saying how horrible of a son and brother he is for being in the military. It's something that makes him question his future in the military and us wanting to move away.  What is the best way I can show him that what is doing isn't wrong? It's not fair that none of them have done anything with their lives and are mad that DH did. And I mean nothing I mean none except DH have graduated high school or held jobs for more than 6months.

Re: Family Blaming Military

  • I have a similar problem from both sides but it is much more subtle than straight up blame-fest.

    When DH and I came up on our decision to extend we sat down and looked at it logically. We did our best to put emotions asside. We looked at the f

  • You tell his family that you guys are making the decision together that is the best for your future and your little family right now, and it has nothing to do with his feelings toward them.  

    And I'm sorry, but

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  • image Beachy730:

    You tell his family that you guys are making the decision together that is the best for your future and your little

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  • Adults make their own decisions. Decisions that are best for them and their family. YOU are his family now. They are an extension of that, and they don't get input. Set some boundaries. If they are that toxic, then I'd consider cutting them out until they
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  • His family is being selfish and thats all there is to it. My DH's mom is proud of him for how hard he works, but she HATES that he moved away from their small town in Arkansas to join the military. She doesn't realize that he wanted to get away as badly a

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  • Regardless we aren't moving back. I have graduate school near his current duty station so if he didn't extend we still aren't sticking around. I just hate how they make him feel about decisions that aren't any of their business.
  • image Lissa832:
    Adults make their own decisions. Decisions that are best for them and their family. YOU are his family now. They are
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  • My husband started laying the groundwork years ago that he has no intention of moving back to where most of his family lives.  His family also for years tried to hint or imply that they expected him to move back.  But, now that he is near retire
  • Ugh I'm there with you. My husband's contract is up in September and the moment re-enlisting was brought up, my mil shut that crap down FAST. He's the only one who's done something with his life as well. It's just annoying. It's not a decision between him
  • We are in the same position as well. Almost all of DH's entire family lives in the same town...on the same road. Aside from maybe on other family member, he lives the furthest away. He constantly feels punished by them when they make comments about how

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  • My family is all spread out and I grew up in a major city so I can't exactly relate to the small town family living on the same road where a child moving away totally alters the town's census.  But I think all of us on one level or another get a b

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  • helakhelak
    Second Anniversary
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    If I were you I would talk to him and ask what he would plan to do once he got out of the military because getting jobs isn't easy. Also, he should know that his family is being very selfish for not wanting to support him in his decisions. But the most im
  • Let him know you are proud of him and grateful you married a good provider who makes smart decisions. And if he feels guilty, let him know its because he loves his family and is a good son you'd be in bigger trouble if he was apathetic! You know they are
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