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3rd Trimester
pepper6887
member
Anyone else have an overly-opinionated family?
pepper6887
member
Sorry just gotta get this off my chest...
I'm 35 wks and throughout this whole pregnancy pretty much all of my family on my mom's side has been so judgemental. This is my first pregnancy so I've been soaking up as much research and advice as I possibly can, especially now since I'm so close to my due date. But no matter what they treat me like I have my head up my ass...ugh. I'm almost afraid to tell them that when LO gets here that the first few weeks or so I'm going to exclusively BF before introducing the bottle so we can get into our own rhythm. I just know how that one's gonna end considering one of my aunts breastfed her daughter and she ended up having a low milk supply so it seems pretty obvious to them that I'm going to end up having the same problem as I have heard so many times since they found out that I want to breast feed. I'm so frustrated I think I need a hug and maybe a pint of Ben and Jerry's...To the grocery store!!
Thanks for listening 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else have an overly-opinionated family?
And that is pretty stupid they think because your one aunt had a low milk supply that means you will too?
Latin people are known for being opiniated and intensely so. I just let it slide...
Honestly, even if I was to defend myself or say anything back, it would just be worst... So I smile and nod, and laugh to myself. They have their own experiences, let me have mine!
ETA: I also never let anyone on that side of the family know anything, other than "All is good" and "Still a March baby!" but they seem to know everything before I even have a chance to think about it, so either it's black magic or there's a mole on the other side of the family!
You will figure out very quickly after the baby comes that no one else matters. I know it sounds harsh but you will quickly let the opinions and comments slide and solely concentrate on your little family (baby and DH). My DH jokes that when DD1 came out she must have severed a nerve of mine because despite being pretty high strung and opinionated myself prior to having her, I have really become more laid back when is comes to most things (my child's well being not one of those...lol!) and have tried to worry about only the things that really matter.
Family will always try to push their opinions and sometimes they may be right but you need to learn how to be a parent on your own. You will fail a few times but that's part of learning.
Good luck and just do what your instinct tells you is best for your child.
This. Before DS arrived I had a hard time being assertive and standing up for my own decisions. After he was born I knew I was doing what was best for me and my family and had no problem (nicely) telling others how I was doing things and why if they felt the need to butt in. I also try to withhold as much information as possible from the most opinionated people in my family. It's really not their business anyway.
My favorite comment so far:
"You know you're not supposed to put the baby on the changing table and walk away, right?" Nope I didn't know that until you just told me.
We also kept are name choices a secret from them for as long as possible because we knew that everyone would have their opinions about them. And yup, we were right. When we finally told, my dad tried to convince us to change them and my FIL told us they were "stupid." Oh well, they are what they are and we're not changing them.
We just nod, smile, and yup them all to death at this point otherwise we would lose our minds.
It's the secret pregnancy symptom; Everyone related to you loses their ever-loving minds, but thinks YOU are the stupid/rude/crazy one!
A good poker face helps. We haven't shared names and I don't discuss feeding strategies or sleep training or anything. People ask all kinds of nosy questions, and I say "Well, babies are all so different. I've taken the classes/read the books, but I guess we will have to just see what works for her when she arrives!" and I then I ask someone to pass me the chips and dip.
Our family hasn't been too bad with the opinions...but my mom was apparently really fat all over with me and she acts jealous that I am all baby and out front. I can't really help that my body is different from her's and she keeps making comments on how big I am and at my shower this past weekend someone said that I was "all baby" and she promptly dissagreed. It's pretty annoying and hard on the self esteem
Then you have my mother in law who showed up at my shower without RSVPing and gives me a travel set of baby shampoo and body wash because she lives 6 hours away in another state. Apparently the other guests at my shower thought it was extremely rude of her to do that and make a big deal out of how we are supposed to put this little baby in the car for 6-7 hours and come visit her. I am so over it.