Gift opening

afrochick09

Hi Ladies. Just curious what thoughts are on gift opening during showers. Do guests assume once that's done, it's time to go? And is it possible to add gift opening to a very loose, hangout party? I don't want to offend any guests by not opening their gift, just wondering how it could work into a more casual coed shower. 

526SadieSadie

I've been to super formal venues for showers and very casual ones, gifts were always opened.  For something casual, opening gifts while people are sitting down eating is usually a good way to go. 

EastCoastBride

I've only been to one co-ed baby shower.  They actually didn't open the gifts. Which was fine.  The whole vibe of the party - it just wouldn't have fit and the people who were there, we all really didn't care.  It was a younger friend party - no one too hung up "gifts MUST be opened".

My only complaint, though, was that their "thank you" note was the birth announcement w/ a pre-printed line about "thanks to everyone for your love and support".  no personal note, no actual signature - nothing.

THAT combined w/ the last of gift opening really annoyed me.  If I had gotten a genuine "thank you" when they opened my gift, I wouldn't have cared quite as much (although I still think a preprinted thank you is tacky).  But the 2 things in conjunction w/ each other- it was too much and showed NO genuine appreciation.

afrochick09

EastCoastBride:

I've only been to one co-ed baby shower.  They actually didn't open the gifts. Which was fine.  The whole vibe of the party - it just wouldn't have fit and the people who were there, we all really didn't care.  It was a younger friend party - no one too hung up "gifts MUST be opened".

My only complaint, though, was that their "thank you" note was the birth announcement w/ a pre-printed line about "thanks to everyone for your love and support".  no personal note, no actual signature - nothing.

THAT combined w/ the last of gift opening really annoyed me.  If I had gotten a genuine "thank you" when they opened my gift, I wouldn't have cared quite as much (although I still think a preprinted thank you is tacky).  But the 2 things in conjunction w/ each other- it was too much and showed NO genuine appreciation.

Thanks, that's nice to know. And I forgot to add that I'm a HUGE than you note person. Can't stand when people don't do them. And when I say thank you note, I mean catered to each person and hand written by me. If we don't open gifts, we'll probably also do a thank you at the party (potentially).  

ehnasto

I always have this question. For the shower my sister threw me, she and several other memebers of my family basically flat out said "and now you are going to open presents".  So there really wasn't a question there. I always feel awakard doing so but didn't really have a chocie.

bsinno

We also had a co-ed shower that was really more of a bbq pool party with silly games. I hadn't planned on opening gifts, but towards the end my SIL and MIL pretty much forced us too. Some people came in to watch, others stayed outside and swam/ate/drank. It was actually nice to just sit down for a while myself!

Cangel24

To be honest, I went a shower about 2 years ago and quite a few guest were PISSED that they didn't open the gifts. We spent 3 hrs playing dumb games (weren't baby shower related), the shower started an hour late, they damn well should have opened the gifts. Honestly, that's my favorite part of any shower I go to (baby or bridal).

cinderin

I also really enjoy the gift opening portion.

EastCoastBride

Cangel24:

To be honest, I went a shower about 2 years ago and quite a few guest were PISSED that they didn't open the gifts. We spent 3 hrs playing dumb games (weren't baby shower related), the shower started an hour late, they damn well should have opened the gifts. Honestly, that's my favorite part of any shower I go to (baby or bridal).

A part of this is "know your audience".

We went to a coed wedding shower years ago and that audience was a mix of friends, family, etc, and the group was one where it was clear that there would be a gift opening.

The baby shower i mentioned - the group was one where no one would really care.

In general, I do feel that as the point of a shower is to 'shower the MTB' w/ gifts, there should be a gift opening.  Some of the excuses people throw out to NOT do one fall flat for me. 

But as w/ most things in life, this isn't always a black & white issue and sometimes it is o.k. to skip it.

afrochick09

Now, if we do open gifts when would you say to do so? Is it seen as the final event typically? Or do people continue to hangout after?

EastCoastBride

breezalina82:

Now, if we do open gifts when would you say to do so? Is it seen as the final event typically? Or do people continue to hangout after?

My basic time frame for a shower is that the gift opening should start about 45 mins to an hour in.  As that is the point to the shower, you need to get to it on the "sooner" end.

And for a normal shower, yes, once it's over, people often will start to head out. 

If you want people to stay, though, perhaps start the opening later, or serve dessert AFTER the gift opening, or just make an announcement to the effect of "we hope you'll stick around and spend some more time with us"...

The overall vibe of the shower will play a role in this too.  The more "party' like it is, the more people may hang around. 

ELauren88

I'm having one of each! A more formal shower, and a backyard-jack-and-jill-bbq one. I will be opening gifts at both. Formal one is pretty self explanatory, what else would I do?? Haha! 

As for the less formal one, We're just gonna shout out that I'll be opening gifts in the living room, and whom ever wants to join us, may. My DH, his male relatives, and my dad have no interest in seeing me open gifts for an hour. However, my mom and DH's grandma most certainly do!

ShakeUpTampa

I feel a shower should have gifts opened. People want to see what you got and might be curious in case they want to buy other stuff down the road as well. People don't come to just hand a gift eat some finger foods and leave. I personally love all showers (bridal and baby) that do bingo during the gifts to keep the guests attention and have fun. They get prizes and if they can fill out their own card they already get 1-2 spots correct if they list the gift(s) they brought. It really makes things less stiff while sitting at a table eating and watching the gifts being opened. People would holler...wait does that count as a ??? or what is that, hold it up please.

CRLSMC2011

At mine, they served lunch about a half hour after the party was called for.  Then I opened gifts.  Then we had dessert.  People left after dessert and the whole thing was about 2.5 hours when everyone had left.  The only "games" were the baby game and the guess the birth date and weight game (which people did at the beginning when they got in). 

RussianMommy

yes, you open gifts at the shower/event. and once all that is done, ppl tend to trickle out.