Baby Showers

NBSR 2nd wedding shower?

I'm still scared of the knot, so I though I'd check with my favorite etiquette people.

One of my good friends just got engaged. This will be her second wedding. I know that traditionally second babies don't get showers. How does everyone feel about second weddings? I'm debating whether I should offer one.

If the specifics change your answer any, here they are... Even though they really shouldn't bc ''But my case is special...'' doesn't generally make stuff right:
She got married during graduate school and was married about a year before seperating. She kept all of the shower and wedding gifts, including linens, fine china, kitchen appliances, etc. She and her fianc have been living together for about 2.5 years and have together another year before that. It's his first wedding.

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Re: NBSR 2nd wedding shower?

  • Personally, I say no. My BFF is pretty much like a sister and is engaged. I will not be offering her a shower because if it were someone else, I would side eye it. My friend got married in 09, separated in 11 and legally divorced last year.
  • Um no, esp if she kept all of the gifts from #1. 
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    He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be.  He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.  
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  • No, second weddings do not get showers.  


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  • If it was her first wedding but his 2nd I would say yes because in that case they might not have things lol. At this time leave it up to someone else if they wish to but I wouldn't. 
    Nichole Tampa, FL
  • Heck no! Especially since she kept everything like that from her first marriage. It doesn't matter if it's his first wedding. If they've been living together that long, they probably have most of what they need anyways.
    Happily married to my Snorkelbutt - 07/31/10

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  • I vote no. I'm a divorced girl myself, and I would feel all sorts of tacky registering for gifts and/or having a shower. I would go as far as to turn down any offers. My friends and family are the same obviously, so I would be asking the same people for the same gifts at the same party. If, IF I were to ever get married again, it wouldn't matter to me if it was his first or second marriage.

    A bachelorett party is a different story. It's still celebrating your friend's marriage but there is no pressure for anyone to go and buy a gift.

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  • I would've been mortified if someone offered to throw me a shower for my second marriage.  The first wedding was like 450 people...it was ridiculous and huge, and so not my style.  My current husband and I went to Vegas with eight friends and my mom.  We did jello shots right after the ceremony and it was PERFECT.  I would've have even imagined having a shower.  Yikes.
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  • No to showers for second wedding BTB.  I even felt kind of weird registering when I  got married (first and only).  Although I never lived with a boyfriend or my DH, I did live on my own for 8 years.  I had basically everything but it was nice to have some dishes that were not "cow themed".  LOL  

    If you want to host a party for her just make it a bachelorette party or a girls night out.  If people want to give her gifts they will. 

  • I posted about my BFF's registry for her second wedding (20 $79 wine glasses, for a start).  I think its pretty tacky to say the least. 
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  • Speaking as someone who's been married twice-no shower.  Her friends and family have already helped her set up one married household, asking them to do so again would be highly inappropriate IMHO.
  • Thanks ladies. I was leaning that way too, and wanted to make sure that I wasn't being a bad friend for not offering.

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