I want to slap him

+just+j+

Just a vent.

X called last night to try and talk to DD.  DD is going thru a phase where she does not want to talk to him.  I have put them on Tango together and she enjoys that because she can see him, but I won't do it every night.

X asks me last night if I would drive an hour Sunday (half way) to meet him so he can see DD for an hour or so. "Maybe we could go have lunch or something together." I told him I was very busy, and that I was not giving up a weekend day so that he can see DD for just an hour. He got mad, told me that payback's are hell, that it's unfair of me to ask him to "drop everything" for me, but I won't do it for him.

When I asked what I have asked him to drop everything for, he said that I asked him to exchange DD on Friday instead of Saturday like he wants, on the weekend I am moving. I said, "It's not asking you to drop everything when Friday is your agreed time to get DD AND it's your weekend to have DD. It's sad I even have to ask you."

He got madder, and I ended up hanging up on him.

Tonite he calls, DD doesn't want to talk to him. I manage to get her to talk a little, but she quickly dismisses him. X asks if she's mad at him. I said I didn't know, it's just a phase.  He says, "Well I guess I should just get used to it."  I said, "No. You need to start taking your FULL weekends with her on a regular, consistent basis. She's getting used to you not being here.  That's up to you to change."  He says, "yeah, I guess."

You guess?  YOU of all people should know this! WAKE the F up and realize you can't be a halfass dad!! 

I get that he needs to move into his place, and he's not in a position to take DD. I get that. He'll be in his place soon and hopefully we can start a regular schedule, but it bugs me he doesn't get why DD is acting the way she is. Previous BM's were pretty crappy. I know this for sure, but I sometimes think he used them as an excuse for not pulling his weight with his other kids.  In fact, I KNOW that is what he did.  This time, though, he doesn't have an uncooperative b*tch of a BM as an excuse. I am giving him all and any opportunity to do his part.  If he doesn't wwake up, he's seriously going to screw this one up all on his own this time.

I already am working on in my head, that "Some people you love will let you down." talk that I know will have to give DD some day. And the, "It's not your fault" talk.  Ugh.

Jackass.

+just+j+

Oh, and if I have to hear one more time how busy he is, and how he has so much on his plate...I"ll scream.

Try adding taking care of a 3 year old child all on your own into that mix buddy. Then let's talk.

SimpleJane

I'm so sorry. I know I'm still kind of a newbieand I don't know the whole backstory here, but from what I've read I really don't think it's going to get any better. He is just going to do the best he can to slip out of her life, take no responsibility, and then blame it all on you.

I'm glad you stood up to him about the one hour. I honestly think he was more interested in having lunch with you than seeing DD. He seems extremely manipulative.

+just+j+

Yeah, I felt manipulated. But I didn't fall for it.

Whenever I am nice, he and his kids took advantage of me to get something out of the deal for themselves.  They were all pros at it.

FutureMrsWittig

Can we start a donation page for your XH, so he can afford a vasectomy?

I want to slap him for you.

sonshine0609

I kind of want to slap him for you too! I have had about enough of dead beat/fair weather dads to last a lifetime. Time to grow up, be a man, and be a father.