Breastfeeding twins - making "the decision"

BananaPancake

So the boys are twelve weeks this week. We're about to hit our 12w BFing goal and we've been doing pretty well with a little bit of supplementing and mostly BFing. It's going okay, just a TON of work. They're waking up to eat every hour and a half all night long, and I can't pump because I just don't get a drop when I do. This has been the case with ALL of my babies, but I feed on demand so it's not an issue...until now. With my others we've gone as long as 14m and as short as 8m depending on circumstances, and I love nursing. But with the boys, I'm just wiped out completely.

I have a Medela PIS and I don't think the pump is the issue. It's really not a big deal - my mom was never able to pump, either. But because I can't pump, the boys are either nursing or doing formula at night, and mostly nursing. It's just wearing me out. I've been sick for two months because I'm not getting any rest! I have plenty of energy, but my body is just not healing itself.

I am trying to decide what to do as far as BFing goes. Is it possible to mostly formula feed and just nurse a few times a day for the bonding aspects? DH wants the boys to be our last babies, so because we don't have any more babies planned, I'm really sad at the thought of not nursing them much longer. On the other hand, I just think formula would be so much easier as far as family management and nights. 

Can anyone give me some input, here? I'm just tired, and I need some other MoMs to help me figure out how I feel about this whole thing. :-) 

shaunah816

This is such a tough, tough thing. I'm still grieving giving up nursing/pumping when the boys were 18 weeks, even though I know it was the right choice for my sanity and for our family. But I still miss nursing my babies I'm getting teared up just thinking about it, darn it.

I was never able to EBF, and was heavily supplementing at the end. In my experience, at least, I could mostly FF the boys (although I was able to pump a little bit at work and at night) and then still have one or two short nursing sessions each day for bonding. If your supply really dwindles, you could nurse them and then give them formula bottles afterwards. That way they're getting what they need nutritionally, but still stimulating your supply and still giving you that wonderful bonding.

I think I'll always question my decision to stop (even though I was producing basically zero by the time I did) because breastfeeding is such an intimate thing, but logically I know it was right. I just wish things had been different.

Kudos to you for doing such an awesome job getting the boys to 12 weeks with so much breast milk, and good luck on the tough decision ahead. Sleep is so important. 

LottaLattes

You might have to supplement after but you can absolutely just nurse a few times a day. It will affect your supply but not the end of the world.

One of the realities I had to face early on is that all of the wonderful things I was able to do with my singles was just not quite as easy with the twins. I am lucky as hell that I have a good supply an can pump for the twins but I was heartbroken to not bf another baby.

Just curious about the pumping, how do you usually do it? Do you have the suction turned up high or low? Do you have your babies nearby? You can also play around with different sized flanges, if you have a LC you could work with, that might also help. It is hard for some people to relax while pumping, which can make it hard to produce!

No matter what, taking care of yourself is super important. If you do end up going to ff, grieve for a bit and then enjoy your freedom. Your babies will be fine. hugs

Felicity86

Lurker here, but I'm going through the same thing. My babies are only a month old, and I'm currently pumping, breastfeeding and formula feeding. My supply is not increasing and I know this is not sustainable for me. At this point I'm just shooting for 6 weeks but already feel such guilt about my plan to ff. Sorry I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. These will be my only babies and I was really looking forward to ebf them but I'm ready to give up.

Lil Kate

I don't have experience with BF twins yet but I can only imagine what it is like!  Congrats to you for doing such an amazing job.  I think you can remove the feeding you want to use formula but still keep the other feedings as long as you are conisistent.  You milk should be there if you always nurse at the same time even if it is less than normal.  I would try to ask this on the BF board too.  Try not to be too hard on yourself....just think of all the benefits you gave them nursing for 12 weeks!  I may need some motivation when my LO's come.  GL with your decision.

Reilly626

I give you credit for going this far! How hard! I didn't BF but I bonded with my babies all the same holding them with the bottle. Best of luck with your choice!

Breezy8407

Mine always got 1-2 bottles of formula a day from the beginning, so when I decided to wean from the pump it was an easy transition for them. My goal was 12 weeks and they got some breastmilk until 15 weeks. Returning to work was just too much to keep up with. I wasn't able to pump as much as I needed and it was taking up all my time at home when I wanted to be spending it with them and giving H a break. (he stayed home with them for a month  - he is a teacher)

The decision to stop is so personal. And any breast milk is better than none, so if you decide to keep going, know that they are still getting the benefits even though it's not ALL they are getting.  

It sounds like you need a break, so remember to take care of yourself. Your little ones need a happy healthy mama  

Ruthie04

Between latch issues and having to supplement due to low birth weight, the decision was pretty much made. My supply tanked and I don't respond to the typical supply improving techniques. Right now, I nurse in the mornings and nurse for comfort. I also pump while feeding bottles and add that milk to their formula bottles, as per the pediatrician's instructions. 

I get what you are saying about nursing and the emotional aspect. My boys still have very painful latches, but they love nursing and I love the act of it. I think you could figure out a way to keep nursing a bit. I usually use it as a tool after one of the babies has spit up a lot, or if one is a bit fussy, or if one is having trouble sleeping. I know they aren't getting tons of nutrition from me, but it is a good experience for us. 

Rynleigh

As a previous exclusive pumper, I can say I bonded very well and strongly with both of my daughters even tho breastfeeding was a rare thing that I only did, with a shield, with them (only when we were out of the house and I ran out of pre-pumped milk AND formula). 

With my boys, I'm nursing without shields for the first time, primarily because Simon is such a strong nurser that the shields fill up and overflow between sucks if I use them, and because James pulls the shields off completely. I only nurse them twice a day - usually once mid-day and once in the evenings. I once pump before they wake up, and once before I go to bed. They also receive about 8oz of formula a day, each, as supplement. Even with only 2 nursing sessions per day, both of the boys are thoroughly bonded to me. They prefer me over all other humans right now, they sleep peacefully when I'm not home and wake up and fuss until I pick them up the second they realize I'm back in the room. 

I wouldn't worry if you need to cut out night feedings Your boys know who you are. 

mamatotwins0812

Ugh, I feel your pain. I posted a similiar post when my guys were right around the same age as yours. My situation was a little different, I EP'd, but still felt bonded to them and was extremely happy that I could give them the breast milk. It took me a very long time to make the decision to stop. For me, I was exhausted like you. Waking up every 3 hours, feeding both, burping/changing, pumping, cleaning up etc, left me about an hour of sleep in between and after several months of that I was running on empty, both physically and emotionally. It really started to take a toll on me and I wasnt being the best me I could be for them or my DH (or myself). I was coming unglued very slowly and had to do something.

I can tell you that it took me a while to wean (granted again, I was pumping), but I think that can answer your question about only giving them a couple nursing sessions. It took quite some time for things to dry up so I think its totally practical for you to only do a session or 2. Once I finally started drying up I was devastated, and actually posted on here bc I considered starting my supply again bc I had awful guilt. But once I allowed myself to grieve and started being nicer to myself, I felt like a completely new person. I had more time, which meant more sleep, I was able to get out of the house more, I was able to have people over the house more, and I was just overall happier bc my hormones started leveling off. It is a total personal decision, so I think if and when you do make the decision, you just have to commit and not beat yourself up. You did them an amazing thing by getting as far as you did and should give yourself kudos. Good luck with the decision!

HisBelovedPrincess

You basically just posted my story   Sorry for the tmi, but at 11wk pp I was still not healing right in my lady parts, and a large factor was the low hormones due to nursing/being tired from trying to nurse through the night, etc...it was taking it's toll onmy body, so I decided to start weaning.  I HATED that i had to do it, but I felt my body needed me to.

And then I made a different decision. I decided that during the day we were most successful nursing, it was that evening time/night time that had been the hardest! SO, I decided to do two formula bottles a day.  We nursed first thing in the am, and then again at mid morning. Then for the 'lunch' time eating they both got a formula bottle and I pumped and stored it in the freezer.  Then at the mid afternoon feeding we nursed. Then they would both feed every 1.5/2 hours through the evening, since my milk was lowest at that time of day.  Then, since baby A was STTN by 9weeks, he would get a formula bottle around 11pm. And so would baby B. Except baby B ate less all day long more frequently, so he would get the MOTN nursing sessions (usually 2, sometimes 1-3).  This went on utnil they were 9 months old when we had an even more predictable schedule, when we went to just having a formula cup at lunch time, and nursing right before bed

It was hard to go to the system we went to, but not nearly as hard as it was when I was trying to EBF.  It gave me and my body the chance to rest (even if my sleep through the night was broken up, I did a little bit of co-sleeping with baby ....by 16 wks pp I was mostly healed.

SO, I say, there doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision. You can do it, momma

HisBelovedPrincess

Also, we kept up that last schedule (1 formula bottle a day/cows milk affter 1) until they were 15 months old when we weaned

macchiatto

That is such a tough thing. I had similar issues b/c I was at high risk of an MS relapse postpartum (I couldn't go back on my disease-modifying drug while BFing and I was at 1.7 times the risk of a relapse right after giving birth). Stress also raises the risk of MS attack, so getting NO sleep to nurse was tough.

My LC suggested a compromise for me--trying to look at the wellbeing of the whole family--of nursing 5 times a day and supplementing otherwise as needed. She said my supply definitely might drop but that it worked for some women and was worth a try. It didn't end up working for me but since you're an experienced BFer you may get better results with modified BFing? (You'll be able to tell how your body is responding and stuff.) Could you try doing just one formula bottle at night so you can get one stretch of uninterrupted sleep? Like say maybe nurse them at 9 or 10, then go to bed and let your DH be on baby duty for the next 4 hrs while you sleep uninterrupted. He can give them a bottle of formula when they wake and take care of any fussing/night wakings in between and then after the 4 hrs you could wake up and nurse them. My DH and I did shifts and it made a huge difference for me, just getting that guaranteed stretch of uninterrupted sleep every night. And of course you could do it at a different stretch of night depending on what works for you and your H and your supply. Might be a good compromise if you have mixed feelings about weaning.

kiwi443

Without going into all the details, bfing didn't work out for me. I was also never able to pump very much. We switched to 100% formula at 8 weeks and it was only then that life started to feel manageable.

 GL with your decision, but know that if you decide to stop bfing (even though your nursed your other kids longer) it will be okay.

HoneyBeeMel

I know the feeling! I had to supplement with just one so with the twins I started supplementing right away when they were a week old and it changed my life. When I took the pressure off myself about breastfeeding and pumping enough, I began to enjoy it more. Anyway, here we are 6.5 months later. The babies prefer the bottle now and get mostly formula. I do pump while I am at work so they each get one breastmilk bottle a day. They will also still nurse first thing in the morning and we all enjoy that. On the weekends when they are interested in nursing I will nurse them, but sometimes they refuse and I just give them the bottle. I figure if they stop wanting to nurse completly I will stop. I have found the best thing to do is just not think about or worry about it too much and do whatever works. Good luck!