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Blended Families
BentoMinion
member
Update on my Ex's child support show cause hearing - LONG
BentoMinion
member
Before it gets all confusing, I refer to my SO as my domestic partner to agencies. We are well past the girlfriend/boyfriend stage. We function as a family and I am on all accounts. I have learned they take Domestic Partner as a more serious relationship than calling him my SO.
Well, the woman called us in together. She warned us that the computers were acting up so she was not sure what all she could pull up.
She started off on telling my ex what he owed. Then she started to grill me on my income. She asked if I worked. I said no. She asked why. I told her about my eldest having problems with I was working 3rd shift at Walmart and not only did his teacher tell me there were massive school problems, but also his counselor told me it would be best to quit if we could afford it. So I did. Our eldest son is autistic. I was then asked how much I received for food and cash assistance. I told her none. I live with my domestic partner and he covers the costs for all the children with what my Eldest's SSI (About 30 a month) does not cover. She asked about why SSI was so low. I explained to her that we are honest about our relationship to all agencies and so they count my DP's income. He works for the SSA. She told me it was not right that we get no help and so on. (*shrugs* I understand why not and well, we are able to afford it. So I am not gonna swipe help if we don't need it)
Then she asked about why child support was "so high" for my Ex (who works freelance and says he makes 800 a month). I stated that my ex agreed to it. We have 2 children with needs. The eldest is autistic with sensory processing disorder and spacial awareness problems. I pay out of pocket for his sensory therapy plus I need to buy sensory items monthly. Also we have gone to a mostly organic (as our budget allows) and have cut out most processed foods and colors because it effects our eldest. Also child #2 has severe acid reflux. One of his meds is double the OTC of an adult medicine plus he is on a 2nd medicine. So we also have to stay away from foods high in fat, acid, and we have to watch his dairy intake. There is nothing wrong with child #3.
I also told her that it was also put to $300 a month because I needed help with childcare. I am currently in school for Special Education. Not only to help the eldest, but to be able to have a career that I can be gone during the hours he is gone, so to create less anxiety on him in the future. My Domestic Partner does work, but he has Cerebral Palsy and it effects both legs and one of his arms. So if my eldest is having a meltdown, he is not able to handle it. That is why I cannot just have him care for the kids.
She did ask some other questions to clarify, but then she moved onto my ex. She basically asked him how much he made a month. He said nothing recently. She asked him then how did he pay child support? He said he had paid it several times... then skipped a few months due to finances, and then paid again and so on. She looked at me and I said that was not true. In 2 years he has paid once. It was a little over a year ago and it was a larger sum ($650) and there was once or twice he bought something for the boys. Once he bought weighted arm bands for the eldest and some socks for them another time. My ex went to argue and "suddenly" the computer worked and what did it show? Exactly what I said. Hahaha He was caught in a lie!!!!!!!
Then she grilled him as to how he came up with that money and well, he does freelance web design. Ok, so why don't you have a job in that field? Because all the places want you to have a degree and he does not have one. Why don't you go to school? Well, the local CC would only give him 1K for classes a semester and then they wanted him to take out a loan for any costs after that. He would have to pay back a loan. Well, it costs me 1,200 a semester including books and the CC I go to costs a little more for credits than his does. Anyway, the woman rolled her eyes.
Then she asked how he was going to pay his child support? He says he will keep looking. She pointed out that "looking" has not done him much good. So, he needs to come up with $300 ASAP because he is the father of the boys and needs to take care of them. He said, well it is not like he doesn't want to take care of him. He and I have a good relationship and what not, he sees the kids when he can,but he does not drive due to tickets he has not paid AND they also took his license. He lives 3 miles from a bus stop (1/2 a mile from several shopping complexes and gas stations though) and he lives with his mom. So he does want to care for them but is not able to.
This is the priceless part.... She told him well she believes him. BUT some people are content with having nothing and feel it is ok for others to pick up the slack they leave. He is their father and HE needs to help cover expenses, especially since the 2 kids have some medical issues. If he feels 300 is to much a month he can file a motion to decrease it, but that is on him. She then told him that he needed to come up with a plan. He needs to send in $300 within 14 days or he will have a warrant. After that, he has to pay a min of $301 a month by the 7th of every month or he will get a warrant and when he goes to jail, it will cost him $400 to get out (300 for child support and 100 for court). Although $57 of the $300 goes to the state cause the boys have medicaid. I have a county insurance that I pay for, but they will not allow us to put the boys on it because they qualify for medicaid. *shrugs*
Well, I really don't think the warrant will do much good. He had one for over a year and they just dropped it. Every time they went to his house his parents either never answered the door or they said he was not home. None the less, I think he is afraid they will call for another hearing and really go after him. She was annoyed that he has not paid anything on his back support (hence the $1 more amount being the Min payment).
I do have to say I slightly fear he will hold a little grudge over this. He and I have a decent relationship which is why I do not flip out over child support. It is really bad for the kids when parents argue, especially autistic kids. Plus, because he is so inconsistent with visitation, I or someone Clark knows has to be there to supervise visitation.
Well, the woman called us in together. She warned us that the computers were acting up so she was not sure what all she could pull up.
She started off on telling my ex what he owed. Then she started to grill me on my income. She asked if I worked. I said no. She asked why. I told her about my eldest having problems with I was working 3rd shift at Walmart and not only did his teacher tell me there were massive school problems, but also his counselor told me it would be best to quit if we could afford it. So I did. Our eldest son is autistic. I was then asked how much I received for food and cash assistance. I told her none. I live with my domestic partner and he covers the costs for all the children with what my Eldest's SSI (About 30 a month) does not cover. She asked about why SSI was so low. I explained to her that we are honest about our relationship to all agencies and so they count my DP's income. He works for the SSA. She told me it was not right that we get no help and so on. (*shrugs* I understand why not and well, we are able to afford it. So I am not gonna swipe help if we don't need it)
Then she asked about why child support was "so high" for my Ex (who works freelance and says he makes 800 a month). I stated that my ex agreed to it. We have 2 children with needs. The eldest is autistic with sensory processing disorder and spacial awareness problems. I pay out of pocket for his sensory therapy plus I need to buy sensory items monthly. Also we have gone to a mostly organic (as our budget allows) and have cut out most processed foods and colors because it effects our eldest. Also child #2 has severe acid reflux. One of his meds is double the OTC of an adult medicine plus he is on a 2nd medicine. So we also have to stay away from foods high in fat, acid, and we have to watch his dairy intake. There is nothing wrong with child #3.
I also told her that it was also put to $300 a month because I needed help with childcare. I am currently in school for Special Education. Not only to help the eldest, but to be able to have a career that I can be gone during the hours he is gone, so to create less anxiety on him in the future. My Domestic Partner does work, but he has Cerebral Palsy and it effects both legs and one of his arms. So if my eldest is having a meltdown, he is not able to handle it. That is why I cannot just have him care for the kids.
She did ask some other questions to clarify, but then she moved onto my ex. She basically asked him how much he made a month. He said nothing recently. She asked him then how did he pay child support? He said he had paid it several times... then skipped a few months due to finances, and then paid again and so on. She looked at me and I said that was not true. In 2 years he has paid once. It was a little over a year ago and it was a larger sum ($650) and there was once or twice he bought something for the boys. Once he bought weighted arm bands for the eldest and some socks for them another time. My ex went to argue and "suddenly" the computer worked and what did it show? Exactly what I said. Hahaha He was caught in a lie!!!!!!!
Then she grilled him as to how he came up with that money and well, he does freelance web design. Ok, so why don't you have a job in that field? Because all the places want you to have a degree and he does not have one. Why don't you go to school? Well, the local CC would only give him 1K for classes a semester and then they wanted him to take out a loan for any costs after that. He would have to pay back a loan. Well, it costs me 1,200 a semester including books and the CC I go to costs a little more for credits than his does. Anyway, the woman rolled her eyes.
Then she asked how he was going to pay his child support? He says he will keep looking. She pointed out that "looking" has not done him much good. So, he needs to come up with $300 ASAP because he is the father of the boys and needs to take care of them. He said, well it is not like he doesn't want to take care of him. He and I have a good relationship and what not, he sees the kids when he can,but he does not drive due to tickets he has not paid AND they also took his license. He lives 3 miles from a bus stop (1/2 a mile from several shopping complexes and gas stations though) and he lives with his mom. So he does want to care for them but is not able to.
This is the priceless part.... She told him well she believes him. BUT some people are content with having nothing and feel it is ok for others to pick up the slack they leave. He is their father and HE needs to help cover expenses, especially since the 2 kids have some medical issues. If he feels 300 is to much a month he can file a motion to decrease it, but that is on him. She then told him that he needed to come up with a plan. He needs to send in $300 within 14 days or he will have a warrant. After that, he has to pay a min of $301 a month by the 7th of every month or he will get a warrant and when he goes to jail, it will cost him $400 to get out (300 for child support and 100 for court). Although $57 of the $300 goes to the state cause the boys have medicaid. I have a county insurance that I pay for, but they will not allow us to put the boys on it because they qualify for medicaid. *shrugs*
Well, I really don't think the warrant will do much good. He had one for over a year and they just dropped it. Every time they went to his house his parents either never answered the door or they said he was not home. None the less, I think he is afraid they will call for another hearing and really go after him. She was annoyed that he has not paid anything on his back support (hence the $1 more amount being the Min payment).
I do have to say I slightly fear he will hold a little grudge over this. He and I have a decent relationship which is why I do not flip out over child support. It is really bad for the kids when parents argue, especially autistic kids. Plus, because he is so inconsistent with visitation, I or someone Clark knows has to be there to supervise visitation.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update on my Ex's child support show cause hearing - LONG