Trying not to over think things/ freak out

wasgrl18

For those of you who have gone through having a LO before while your spouse is deployed, how do you keep from completely freaking out? I'm 31 weeks and my hubby has been gone for a few weeks, but now that I'm starting to get things ready for the hospital and looking at taking classes it's all starting to become a tad bit overwhelming. Any advice? 

Emilia0101

Do you have a support system in place? Family member, friend, doula? I think having a solid support system is really key.

ladybugpjb

Emilia0101:

Do you have a support system in place? Family member, friend, doula? I think having a solid support system is really key.

This is good advice - if you don't have a support system, I would suggest going to any classes or groups that you can and try to connect with people. There should be "new parent support programs" on base or breastfeeding support groups and that type of thing. If your husband is deployed with his squadron/whatever, try to connect with the other spouses. (My H didn't go with a group, so that kind of stank that there wasn't anyone I could talk to about it.)

Check out Operation Special Delivery (there's a link in the FAQ, I believe) to see about getting a doula. I don't know about it from personal experience, just from what people have mentioned on here.

Also, if you have any family members or friends willing and able to come stay with you for awhile in the early weeks, that would be helpful.

wasgrl18

Thanks! Yeah, I have my neighbor whose husband is deployed with my husband and family who will be coming out intermittently after she is born.And there are quite a few classes they offer here that I'm planning on taking over the next month. I think the idea of not being in control and not having him with me is what makes it so difficult for me. I pretty independent but I can't really be independent when I'm in labor and it's hard since he's gone. I feel vulnerable and I don't like it lol

Smudges*Mom

My DH was deployed for the second half of my pregnancy and the delivery (and LO's first nine month).  I was really concerned about laboring without my DH.  I even asked my OB if he'd consider doing an elective c-section (FTR, he shot that down quick).

I was able to move to be near my family, so I had that support.  It sounds as though you've got a friend nearby and family coming in which is great!

FWIW, my LO is now 3.5, and DH is deployed again.  Handling a deployment with an infant was much easier than this deployment with a three year old.  (In all fairness, it's not an apples to apples comparison.  We lived near my family the first time around.  This deployment, we are living in Germany, with not as much support as I would like.  But, once I was recovered from delivery, caring for an infant on my own was fine.)

Good luck!! 

cc0220

I still have a ways to go but hubby deploys soon and will miss the birth.  Even though I've already made plans for my son when I go into labor and aftercare,  I stress about it a lot!  I worry a lot about the actual labor and birth without him and I know that if he were here when I'm in the hospital I wouldn't worry about our son as much.  I found this website and I know it's not your hubby but some people may be able to benefit from this service.  https://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/