Frustrated

guilletskichuk

BM hadn't been in touch with SKs for almost 7 weeks after they visited with her for almost a week at Christmastime. She finally called to talk to them two days before we were supposed to drop them off with her for their week-long February break (but only because DH tried every method to contact her for a week prior and finally got in touch with her via her family).

Anyways, SKs spent a week with BM. The visit went well. SD really enjoyed her visit with her mom (SS liked it but is a little ambivalent; SS is older...BM was his guardian for many years but is not his bio-mom). BM said she would call to talk to the kids every two or so days (which she should have been doing for months as it is in the parenting agreement that she will talk to them that often...but she hasn't followed it). We picked SKs up from her last Saturday. She called and talked to them on Monday evening. She said she would call again on Wednesday. She finally texted DH later that evening asking if she could talk to the kids. The kids were already in bed (she KNOWS their bedtime). So she said she would call Thursday. Nothing. Grr!

When I picked SD up from school today she mentioned that she hoped her mom would call tonight. I replied that I hope she does too. I just don't know what else to say. :S

When SD doesn't know that her mom is supposed to call and, if her mom doesn't call, it's not a big deal. But the minute her mom breaks these promises etc., SD talks about her mom more and more and gets really disappointed. 

How do I deal with a broken-hearted little girl when her mom keeps disappointing her?

Nineoceans

Honestly I would just tell her adults do their best and sometimes they say things they can't follow through with all the time

I would also say It has nothing to do with her or how much her mom loves her but life gets very busy. I would say you are positive before she goes to sleep every night she thinks about her and hopes she has a good day. Just because she isn't calling every day doesn't mean she isn't in her heart every day

LoveActually4

Not sure of the exact circumstances, but can she call her mom?

guilletskichuk

Nineoceans:

Honestly I would just tell her adults do their best and sometimes they say things they can't follow through with all the time I would also say It has nothing to do with her or how much her mom loves her but life gets very busy. I would say you are positive before she goes to sleep every night she thinks about her and hopes she has a good day. Just because she isn't calling every day doesn't mean she isn't in her heart every day

Thank you for your advice. Yup, we do tell her that. Will just have to keep it up.

guilletskichuk

mamaREB29:

Not sure of the exact circumstances, but can she call her mom?

The means to contact her mom are inconsistent and that's the main problem. Her cell phone is always disconnected (more often now than ever before). She has the internet sporadically. She racks up bills and then everything gets cut off. So...she was able to use her phone for about a week. When DH went to call her yesterday, her phone was disconnected...again. Her own family (sister and mom) don't even have a way to contact her.

ldmessing

Nineoceans:

Honestly I would just tell her adults do their best and sometimes they say things they can't follow through with all the time I would also say It has nothing to do with her or how much her mom loves her but life gets very busy. I would say you are positive before she goes to sleep every night she thinks about her and hopes she has a good day. Just because she isn't calling every day doesn't mean she isn't in her heart every day

i am sorry I disagree with this.  Be honest with her, otherwise you are setting unrealistic expectations.  Simply say, I don't know, ask your mother/father.  And be there to pick up the pieces.