Advice? — The Bump
September 2013 Moms

Advice?

Okay. So our roommates like do drink wine. Like daily. And they have a few kids and the lady says she drank a glass of wine with dinner all the time when she was pregnant. Well, her and her boyfriend keep telling me that it's okay to have a glass and they almost insist. And I'm not sure how to say no. Like I just make excuses, but I think thats why they keep insisting. However, I don't want to tell them that I don't want to due to the risks. I feel that it might offend her because she did it? Idk. Plus, one of her kids has a learning disorder and they're all super hyper active. Im just not sure what to say or how to go about it. 
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Re: Advice?

  • Well, the truth is, the only way to say no to peer pressure is to be firm and say no. Its not any different then when we were kids. If she still continues to push, tell her exactly why. You are the parent who is carrying your child, not her. She got to choose for herself. You shouldn't be concerned about offending her, clearly she is not respecting your boundaries.
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  • If you're worried about being honest with her- just say the thought of wine makes you gag- blame it on aversions!
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  • I have a friend who drank wine here and there throughout both of her pregnancies and she has said to me multiple times that its fine and I just say its not something I plan on doing she wasn't offended or upset that I said that, she just respected it because like EMLYNNERETTE said, you must just be firm. I have other friends that ate sushi and deli meat, that was their personal choices but really its none of anyones business what decisions you chose to make, especially when you are taking the appropriate precautions!
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  • I'm in the have a glass of wine every now and then camp. But I can't imagine forcing it on another! That's simply rude, insensitive, and obnoxious. It's your body and your pregnancy! Stick to your guns!
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  • No way. tell her that your doctor told you that its better not to. I can't say if her kids turned out that way from alcohol... because ADHD (a hyperactivity disorder) is not caused by issues in pregnancy. Its generally genetic. Again, I'm not a doctor so I have no clue whats up with them.

    But feel free to just tell her to shove off and stop telling you how to be pregnant. we all have our own style, basically from birth... it carries on through pregnancy and parenting. no one should force you to follow their way of doing things...  Its rude and is not respectful. AT ALL.

    Eat your food people. You are pregnant, not made of glass. ~PrimRoseMama
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  • I would tell her that your doctor told you not to drink at all.  There are new studies out showing damage that can be done from even as little as a glass of wine a week. If you look at the March of Dimes website, they say that there is no amount of alcohol that is proven to be safe.

    http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/alcohol_indepth.html

    I'm sorry you have to deal with this.  I don't get why people push things like that.  Ugh!

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  • At the risk of sounding snarky, if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself and your child now by saying no to something you firmly believe to be a danger for your baby, how will you do it when the baby is here? You're the mother, and your babys health is much more important than offending a roommate who can't respect your personal boundries.

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