NTTGP: GTKU. "My kid will never do...." — The Bump
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NTTGP: GTKU. "My kid will never do...."

So, I was lurking over on BOTB, and came across a link to an article. http://www.ivillage.com.au/when-i-have-kids-i-will-never/157720  This article is all about how, when the author was childless, she had a list of things she would never let her child do.  And of course, she has now gone back on all of those promises.

So this got me thinking - what are your "My child will never do that!" promises?

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Re: NTTGP: GTKU. "My kid will never do...."

  • For me, it is refusing to eat whatever dinner I have cooked for the family.  DH's youngest sister (12 years younger) does this with MIL and it drives me crazy.  MIL will have cooked a lovely beef roast, and ALSO made a chicken cutlet because SIL will not eat beef.  She just decided one day she didn't like it.  Oh no.  Either eat what is made, or fend for yourself.  But I am not making two dinners.
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  • Be allowed to get away with being an ungrateful bratt. I was at a 4 year old's birthday party and as she was opening her presents, she would look at them, then toss them to the side and say "next!". When I say "toss", she was actually throwing gifts off the chair she was sitting on. She was told a couple of times to stop doing that because she might break something, next thing you know, she DOES break an expensive gift someone gave her. For me, that would have been the end of her present opening... but as they're cleaning up the glass of the snow globe she broke, they're handing her more presents to open and she had no repercussions for her actions.

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  • image krptcmschfmkr128:

    If my child one day decided that she wanted to be a vegetarian or didn't like a certain food after having eaten it, I would feed her appropriately. Some people genuinely don't like the taste/texture of certain foods. Now, if it were a one time thing that DD was throwing a fit because she wanted chicken for dinner and not beef, then I wouldn't cater to her. 

    I have no problem with deciding to be a vegetarian.  If my child takes a look around and says, "I am morally opposed to eating meat" or "Eating vegetarian is healthier," I will gladly support that decision.  And I get texture eaters - I am one.  I don't like anything that has a ahrd skin and a squishy inside (think tomatoes, grapes and lima beans).  But growing up, I just ate around them.  I didn't ask my mom to make me a special portion without them. 

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  • image krdesi:
    Be allowed to get away with being an ungrateful bratt. I was at a 4 year old's birthday party and as she was opening her presents, she would look at them, then toss them to the side and say "next!". When I say "toss", she was actually throwing gifts off the chair she was sitting on. She was told a couple of times to stop doing that because she might break something, next thing you know, she DOES break an expensive gift someone gave her. For me, that would have been the end of her present opening... but as they're cleaning up the glass of the snow globe she broke, they're handing her more presents to open and she had no repercussions for her actions.

    This. Big time.

    My daughter is turning three next week and is just starting to understand that Christmas and birthdays = presents. Thus far we've gotten her about three presents for Christmas and one or two for her birthdays.

    Next year will probably be the first time we throw a proper birthday party and invite her friends from preschool, at which time we'll ask that no one brings gifts. We want her to appreciate having fun with her friends and celebrating her birthday, not getting a pile of presents.

     

     

     

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  • image ChancieMark:

    image krdesi:
    Be allowed to get away with being an ungrateful bratt. I was at a 4 year old's birthday party and as she was opening her presents, she would look at them, then toss them to the side and say "next!". When I say "toss", she was actually throwing gifts off the chair she was sitting on. She was told a couple of times to stop doing that because she might break something, next thing you know, she DOES break an expensive gift someone gave her. For me, that would have been the end of her present opening... but as they're cleaning up the glass of the snow globe she broke, they're handing her more presents to open and she had no repercussions for her actions.

    WOW. Ok this is crazy. I would have been mortified if my son did that. It's one thing to act like that (four year olds don't really comprehend "rude") but a entirely different thing for the parents not to correct the behavior. 

    Yah, I get that kids will be kids, but my problem is totally with the fact that there is a complete lack of discipline for that kind of behavior. Though that is a theme with them and this little girl, every time I see her, she does at least 2 things that I would be horrified by and she gets away with it and does an evil little laugh when she does. Things including trying to thrust her infant brother off the couch and choking her little sisters because she wanted a toy that was theirs that they were playing with at the time. Surprise 

    Kids can be scary! lol


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  • image krdesi:
    Be allowed to get away with being an ungrateful bratt. I was at a 4 year old's birthday party and as she was opening her presents, she would look at them, then toss them to the side and say "next!". When I say "toss", she was actually throwing gifts off the chair she was sitting on. She was told a couple of times to stop doing that because she might break something, next thing you know, she DOES break an expensive gift someone gave her. For me, that would have been the end of her present opening... but as they're cleaning up the glass of the snow globe she broke, they're handing her more presents to open and she had no repercussions for her actions.


    Whaaaaaat?!?!?! That is cray; I would NEVER let my kid get away with that! So yeah, I guess there's my first one. Another is that I will never let my kid be disrespectful without repercussions. My nephew told my BIL to shut up at a recent family gathering and somehow I was the only one whose head snapped up as I blurted "WHAT?!" Oh heeeeell no!!! But no one did anything at all. Also I feel strongly about not letting my kids become tv and/or computer addicts.
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  • I second the dinner one (they eat what is made, or they go to bed hungry. I don't plan on making bad food or fancy, spicy food anyway).

    I also am pretty sure I'm going to be one of those moms that have to make sure their child(ren) is/are clean at all times. I know this is probably not going to happen though...

    My child(ren) will not be racist, nor make fun of anyone who is mentally or physically disabled. My husband's grandfather is majorly racist, so we may not visit him very often (or at all). I will not stand for it. It's not funny and it certainly will not be tolerated in our family. 

    That's all I've thought of so far... 

    ETA: My child(ren) will be raised to use their manners, and be overall polite and gracious. My child(ren) will NOT be brats.

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  • image catmagick:
    image krdesi:
    Be allowed to get away with being an ungrateful bratt. I was at a 4 year old's birthday party and as she was opening her presents, she would look at them, then toss them to the side and say "next!". When I say "toss", she was actually throwing gifts off the chair she was sitting on. She was told a couple of times to stop doing that because she might break something, next thing you know, she DOES break an expensive gift someone gave her. For me, that would have been the end of her present opening... but as they're cleaning up the glass of the snow globe she broke, they're handing her more presents to open and she had no repercussions for her actions.
    Whaaaaaat?!?!?! That is cray; I would NEVER let my kid get away with that! So yeah, I guess there's my first one. Another is that I will never let my kid be disrespectful without repercussions. My nephew told my BIL to shut up at a recent family gathering and somehow I was the only one whose head snapped up as I blurted "WHAT?!" Oh heeeeell no!!! But no one did anything at all. Also I feel strongly about not letting my kids become tv and/or computer addicts.

     

    It was very crazy...and she is a super cute little girl and can be very sweet, but I just know that is not how it would have gone down if she were my child. To each their own I guess.

    And I agree... DH and I were just talking the other day about how we want to raise children that are respectful to people and not think it is okay to talk to people however they feel. My husband and I were both bullied in school and we feel strongly that we want our children to be accepting and respectful of others, even if they may dislike them for some reason.


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  • -I really don't want my kid watching tv before the age of 2. It's something I'm strongly against

    -Being respectful to others and using manners

    -No spanking

    -No leashes

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  • My kids will not come before my marriage. 

    My kids will not be sucking on a pacifier after the age of 2 and that is a big stretch.

    My kids will not be allowed around adults with potty mouths or adults that think it's ok to use profanity around children. Big pet peeve.

    My kids will be musicians. 

    My kids will not be allowed to fight with their siblings. My parents didn't allow us to fight with each other and as an adult, I'm so glad they didn't.

    I just hope and pray that my kids will one day be Christian, loving, polite, well educated adults. 

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  • image Lue94:

    My kids will not come before my marriage. 

    My kids will not be sucking on a pacifier after the age of 2 and that is a big stretch.

    My kids will not be allowed around adults with potty mouths or adults that think it's ok to use profanity around children. Big pet peeve.

    My kids will be musicians. 

    My kids will not be allowed to fight with their siblings. My parents didn't allow us to fight with each other and as an adult, I'm so glad they didn't.

    I just hope and pray that my kids will one day be Christian, loving, polite, well educated adults. 

    Wow! How do you stop kids from fighting with their siblings? My sister and I fought all the time! I don't know any siblings that never fought!


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  • image krdesi:
    image Lue94:

    My kids will not come before my marriage. 

    My kids will not be sucking on a pacifier after the age of 2 and that is a big stretch.

    My kids will not be allowed around adults with potty mouths or adults that think it's ok to use profanity around children. Big pet peeve.

    My kids will be musicians. 

    My kids will not be allowed to fight with their siblings. My parents didn't allow us to fight with each other and as an adult, I'm so glad they didn't.

    I just hope and pray that my kids will one day be Christian, loving, polite, well educated adults. 

    Wow! How do you stop kids from fighting with their siblings? My sister and I fought all the time! I don't know any siblings that never fought!

    We have attempted to fight and my mother would put an end to it if she heard us. She would always say this is your brother or sister and you are supposed to love each other not fight each other.

    My household was a dictatorship type and if my mom said something, we did it without her having to say it twice. 

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  • image HatchetFace:
    image krptcmschfmkr128:
    image krdesi:
    image Lue94:

    My kids will not come before my marriage. 

    My kids will not be sucking on a pacifier after the age of 2 and that is a big stretch.

    My kids will not be allowed around adults with potty mouths or adults that think it's ok to use profanity around children. Big pet peeve.

    My kids will be musicians. 

    My kids will not be allowed to fight with their siblings. My parents didn't allow us to fight with each other and as an adult, I'm so glad they didn't.

    I just hope and pray that my kids will one day be Christian, loving, polite, well educated adults. 

    Wow! How do you stop kids from fighting with their siblings? My sister and I fought all the time! I don't know any siblings that never fought!

    I'm more curious to know how she's going to force her kids to be musicians... 

    Yes DH is a musician, and he says he will never force our children to do something strictly because he's interested in it. Why don't you let them decide for themselves? 

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  • I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.
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  • image GTown08:
    For me, it is refusing to eat whatever dinner I have cooked for the family.nbsp; DH's youngest sister 12 years younger does this with MIL and it drives me crazy.nbsp; MIL will have cooked a lovely beef roast, and ALSO made a chicken cutlet because SIL will not eat beef.nbsp; She just decided one day she didn't like it.nbsp; Oh no.nbsp; Either eat what is made, or fend for yourself.nbsp; But I am not making two dinners.


    I totally agree with this, mil does the exact same thing for her youngest son drives me insane
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  • I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments. 

    When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I. 

    I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.

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  • image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

    And where are the girl's parents that are sleeping over? Why are they ok with that? 

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  • image Lue94:
    I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments.nbsp;When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I.nbsp;I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.


    So you're saying that as a 16 year old, if your child wants to play sports instead of music or band then you wouldn't allow it? You think a 16 yo isn't old enough to make a decision about what he is interested in?

    What will happen when you're 18 yo suddenly stops playing the violin and does something to make himself happy and not you?



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  • I will never let my kids get away with being bratty and ungrateful.

    I will not let them get away with blowing off school. I didn't take school seriously and it bit me in the ass after high school.

    This kind of goes with the ungrateful point but I will make sure they understand the value of a dollar. Ideally I'd like them to have a part time/summer job when they're 16-17 (nothing overwhelming, I want school to be #1)  It makes me sick when I see elementary/middle schoolers with iphones.

    Of course, this would be in a perfect world.

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  • image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

    Yah, I would never allow that to happen.  And I would never allow my child to sleep at a member of the opposite sex's house either. My parents never did and even when I was engaged, my husband had to sleep on the couch and I agree with that.


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  • image GhostMonkey:
    image ChristyML:

    I second the dinner one (they eat what is made, or they go to bed hungry. I don't plan on making bad food or fancy, spicy food anyway).

    I also am pretty sure I'm going to be one of those moms that have to make sure their child(ren) is/are clean at all times. I know this is probably not going to happen though...

    Come back in a year to 18 months and let us know how that's working out for you.

    QFT.

    I will never say never again because, you know, the best laid plans...

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  • image GhostMonkey:
    image krdesi:

    image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

    Yah, I would never allow that to happen.  And I would never allow my child to sleep at a member of the opposite sex's house either. My parents never did and even when I was engaged, my husband had to sleep on the couch and I agree with that.

    Yeah, we were in our mid 20's and 30's when we got married. Fuvck that rule. 

    At some point you do have to cut the cord. Fine when they are in high school, but you are naive if you think you have any control after that point. Or did you marry when you were 18?

     

     

    I was 26 when I got married and it has nothing to do with needing to cut the cord...when my kids are in my home, they will not be screwing their significant other under my roof.  It didn't bother me that my parents had this rule and they "knew" stuff was going on outside their house, but in their house, I respected the rules and didn't argue. I know many parents that feel that way and have had a few boyfriends in the past with the same rules in their parents' houses.


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  • image catmagick:

    Whaaaaaat?!?!?! That is cray; I would NEVER let my kid get away with that! So yeah, I guess there's my first one. Another is that I will never let my kid be disrespectful without repercussions. My nephew told my BIL to shut up at a recent family gathering and somehow I was the only one whose head snapped up as I blurted "WHAT?!" Oh heeeeell no!!! But no one did anything at all. Also I feel strongly about not letting my kids become tv and/or computer addicts.

    This just made me laugh.  What some might consider an 'addiction' is actually the trend of the future in terms of a booming, highly skilled and exciting job area.  My daughter is what you would probably label a 'computer addict', but I'm ok with that.  In April she's starting a prestigious post-secondary school with a large scholarship in the Graphic Design and Web Publishing program, and when done her 18 month intensive program will be highly sought after for jobs that will pay upwards of 2-3 times or more than what I make now with my 5-year university degree for teaching.  I'm already in awe of what this 'computer addict' has accomplished just in high school, and look forward to seeing what she does down the road! :)


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

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  • image catmagick:

    Whaaaaaat?!?!?! That is cray; I would NEVER let my kid get away with that! So yeah, I guess there's my first one. Another is that I will never let my kid be disrespectful without repercussions. My nephew told my BIL to shut up at a recent family gathering and somehow I was the only one whose head snapped up as I blurted "WHAT?!" Oh heeeeell no!!! But no one did anything at all. Also I feel strongly about not letting my kids become tv and/or computer addicts.

    This just made me laugh.  What some might consider an 'addiction' is actually the trend of the future in terms of a booming, highly skilled and exciting job area.  My daughter is what you would probably label a 'computer addict', but I'm ok with that.  In April she's starting a prestigious post-secondary school with a large scholarship in the Graphic Design and Web Publishing program, and when done her 18 month intensive program will be highly sought after for jobs that will pay upwards of 2-3 times or more than what I make now with my 5-year university degree for teaching.  I'm already in awe of what this 'computer addict' has accomplished just in high school, and look forward to seeing what she does down the road! :)


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • image GhostMonkey:
    image krdesi:
    image GhostMonkey:
    image krdesi:

    image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

    Yah, I would never allow that to happen.  And I would never allow my child to sleep at a member of the opposite sex's house either. My parents never did and even when I was engaged, my husband had to sleep on the couch and I agree with that.

    Yeah, we were in our mid 20's and 30's when we got married. Fuvck that rule. 

    At some point you do have to cut the cord. Fine when they are in high school, but you are naive if you think you have any control after that point. Or did you marry when you were 18?

     

     

    I was 26 when I got married and it has nothing to do with needing to cut the cord...when my kids are in my home, they will not be screwing their significant other under my roof.  It didn't bother me that my parents had this rule and they "knew" stuff was going on outside their house, but in their house, I respected the rules and didn't argue. I know many parents that feel that way and have had a few boyfriends in the past with the same rules in their parents' houses.

    You can share a bed and not fuvck. For real. Try it.

     

    And that is why you can raise your kids a certain way and I have the freedom to raise my children another way.


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                  TTC #1 since May 2012

                  May 2013: First R.E. appointment

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                   May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
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                   July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1

                  August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos

             October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI

                        November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties) 

    November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP! 

    Beta#1: 91  Beta#2: 288

    1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!

    3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!

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  • image ChancieMark:

    The list is sooooo long.

    One was definitely sleep with me but when he was a baby he only slept the first four months if I slept with him and now that he's older he gets night terrors.

    Another one is watch a bunch of TV. Winter is hard, he probably watches too much when it's cold outside. 

    I said I would not do both either and have done both of them. For Lent we have given up TV during the evenings and it has made getting dinner ready REALLY hard, I miss Dora and I really hate her.
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  • image GhostMonkey:
    image Lue94:

    I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments. 

    When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I. 

    I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.

    Your kids will hate you. Especially if they happen to be tone deaf or can't read sheet music to save their ass.

    There's making them stick with what they asked to do and then there's being a and forcing them to do something they have no interest in and never wanted to do. Sounds like you will be in the latter category.

    How exactly are your musical abilities helping you now? Do you work in music? Because my years of choir aren't doing shiit for me.

     

     

    I am a music teacher--I get it.  H is a music therapist, so we feel the same way to an extent.  However, as much as we will encourage our children to play and instrument/sing, if they don't want to we would never force them.  I also understand about  how music helps you in many different ways--learning to read music is like learning another language.  Also, when playing music we are engaging all aspects of learning, the kinesthetic, the aural and the visual and connecting them all together.  It is so helpful in so many ways--however, again I don't agree with the "dictatorship" or "ruler" house where children are forced to be Christian musicians.  But whatevs.

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    *Your friendly resident herbalist.  Ask me for facts about herbs--maybe I can help!*

    TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13  SUCCESS!!!  Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).

    Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!!  Finally on the road to getting better.

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  • image GhostMonkey:
    image Lue94:

    I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments. 

    When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I. 

    I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.

    Your kids will hate you. Especially if they happen to be tone deaf or can't read sheet music to save their ass.

    There's making them stick with what they asked to do and then there's being a and forcing them to do something they have no interest in and never wanted to do. Sounds like you will be in the latter category.

    How exactly are your musical abilities helping you now? Do you work in music? Because my years of choir aren't doing shiit for me.

     

     

    I am a music teacher--I get it.  H is a music therapist, so we feel the same way to an extent.  However, as much as we will encourage our children to play and instrument/sing, if they don't want to we would never force them.  I also understand about  how music helps you in many different ways--learning to read music is like learning another language.  Also, when playing music we are engaging all aspects of learning, the kinesthetic, the aural and the visual and connecting them all together.  It is so helpful in so many ways--however, again I don't agree with the "dictatorship" or "ruler" house where children are forced to be Christian musicians.  But whatevs.

       image   image
    *Your friendly resident herbalist.  Ask me for facts about herbs--maybe I can help!*

    TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13  SUCCESS!!!  Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).

    Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!!  Finally on the road to getting better.

    Resumed TTC 7/2014!  Third time's the charm....8/2014 Visited the RE~DX: MFI/low morph~Straight to IVF with ICSI! 9/2014~Transferred 1 perfect beautiful 6AA blast with 10 to freeze!!!~10/8/2014: BFP!!!!  EDD: 6/17/15 STICK LITTLE BEAN!!! IT'S A BOY!!!!! 

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  • image gscoville:

    image catmagick:

    Whaaaaaat?!?!?! That is cray; I would NEVER let my kid get away with that! So yeah, I guess there's my first one. Another is that I will never let my kid be disrespectful without repercussions. My nephew told my BIL to shut up at a recent family gathering and somehow I was the only one whose head snapped up as I blurted "WHAT?!" Oh heeeeell no!!! But no one did anything at all. Also I feel strongly about not letting my kids become tv and/or computer addicts.

    This just made me laugh.  What some might consider an 'addiction' is actually the trend of the future in terms of a booming, highly skilled and exciting job area.  My daughter is what you would probably label a 'computer addict', but I'm ok with that.  In April she's starting a prestigious post-secondary school with a large scholarship in the Graphic Design and Web Publishing program, and when done her 18 month intensive program will be highly sought after for jobs that will pay upwards of 2-3 times or more than what I make now with my 5-year university degree for teaching.  I'm already in awe of what this 'computer addict' has accomplished just in high school, and look forward to seeing what she does down the road! :)

     

    I guess that's not really what I meant by that--it sounds like what your daughter is doing is productive.  I meant more like gaming and chat rooms and that kind of thing. 

       image   image
    *Your friendly resident herbalist.  Ask me for facts about herbs--maybe I can help!*

    TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13  SUCCESS!!!  Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).

    Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!!  Finally on the road to getting better.

    Resumed TTC 7/2014!  Third time's the charm....8/2014 Visited the RE~DX: MFI/low morph~Straight to IVF with ICSI! 9/2014~Transferred 1 perfect beautiful 6AA blast with 10 to freeze!!!~10/8/2014: BFP!!!!  EDD: 6/17/15 STICK LITTLE BEAN!!! IT'S A BOY!!!!! 

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  • image sueann911:
    image Lue94:
    I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments.nbsp;When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I.nbsp;I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.
    So you're saying that as a 16 year old, if your child wants to play sports instead of music or band then you wouldn't allow it? You think a 16 yo isn't old enough to make a decision about what he is interested in? What will happen when you're 18 yo suddenly stops playing the violin and does something to make himself happy and not you?

    Music was a big part of my life but not the only thing. I played volley ball in HS. I would not be against my child doing something else along with music.

    I started violin at 2 and a half, so it was all I knew growing up and it wasn't until I hit puberty that I didn't want to play because I was more into boys. I'm just saying that I believe that my parents knew best and pushed me to continue and didn't let me stop just because I got to that age of rebellion. 

    I took ballet classes and wanted to take tap also and my mom said no. I survived. I don't come from a household that the child tells the parent what to do and I was fine with that. My mom choose my HS and even choose my college and I didn't care. I'm married now and I make my own decisions now and I'm very grateful for my parent's guidance. I probaly will be a little looser with my kids and listen to how they feel but not how I see a lot parents letting the kid run the show.

    I'm sure most here don't agree, but hey, I have no kids yet, so who knows? 

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  • image krdesi:
    Be allowed to get away with being an ungrateful bratt. I was at a 4 year old's birthday party and as she was opening her presents, she would look at them, then toss them to the side and say "next!". When I say "toss", she was actually throwing gifts off the chair she was sitting on. She was told a couple of times to stop doing that because she might break something, next thing you know, she DOES break an expensive gift someone gave her. For me, that would have been the end of her present opening... but as they're cleaning up the glass of the snow globe she broke, they're handing her more presents to open and she had no repercussions for her actions.

    Oh hell no!  I would have taken my present back and left.  I would not put up with my child behaving that way.  I would be utterly embarrassed.  I taught my child to be respectful and say thank you for things.  That is just appalling.

    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

     

    That's flucking nuts!!!  I strongly disagree with that, too!  Hell, my 9 yo came home tonight and told me there's a boy at school that likes me, but don't worry, he's not my boyfriend.  I responded with "he better not be!  You're not old enough for that!"  Good gosh.  Gonna give her poor mother a heart attack.  I want my child to be a child for as long as possible and just enjoy life and playing like a normal kid.

    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • I really don't want my son to have a paci past one year. It makes me feel crazy when I see a 3 year old with a paci hanging out of their mouth.

    That being said, I'm sure this will bite me in the arse because David LOVES his paci. Ergh.

    I also said my baby would never sleep in the bed with me. Then he got sick and would only sleep snuggled up. I said I would make all my own baby food....HA.



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  • Well, I really hate the "clean your plate" rule if someone dishes up something a) the kid knowingly doesn't like or b) gives them too large of a portion.  However, like if my 9 year old tells me what/how much she wants and then doesn't eat it, I will make her eat a majority of it because then she's just being stubborn and wasteful. 

    I will make a second meal if I knowingly make something I know she doesn't like.  I don't make a habit of it because, let's face it, I work full time and I'm not a short order cook.  But some nights, I feel like making something I like that she doesn't necessarily like.  

    This one will probably get flamed ..... but my daughter has no choice but to go to college.  She can choose the college, the major, etc., but she has to go.  I think she will appreciate the education and the college experience.  I know I did (I wasn't given the choice either).  I will do what my parents did for me .... I'll pay for her BA, but subsequent degrees are on her.

    Last, I will make her work for things she wants.  I was handed everything on a silver platter and didn't appreciate anything.  Now that I have to provide and understand the concept of a dollar, I want to pass that appreciation onto my daughter.  I'm not saying my daughter isn't spoiled .... but, I also want her to understand good work ethic and appreciating her belongings.

    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • image Lue94:
    I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments.nbsp;When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I.nbsp;I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.


    I mean this respectfully but being raised like that seriously messed me up. Not being allowed to make decisions and not having my point of views validated makes it hard for me to make decisions as an adult. I don't trust myself and need reassurance constantly. I also rebelled when I got to college and a bunch of stupid things because I hadn't been taught to respect myself.

    I don't think the kid should be running the house. But kids are capable of making choices way before 18. I wish my parents had taught me HOW to make good desisions and respect myself Instead of dictated my every move.

  • image krdesi:
    image GhostMonkey:
    image krdesi:

    image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

    Yah, I would never allow that to happen.  And I would never allow my child to sleep at a member of the opposite sex's house either. My parents never did and even when I was engaged, my husband had to sleep on the couch and I agree with that.

    Yeah, we were in our mid 20's and 30's when we got married. Fuvck that rule. 

    At some point you do have to cut the cord. Fine when they are in high school, but you are naive if you think you have any control after that point. Or did you marry when you were 18?

     

     

    I was 26 when I got married and it has nothing to do with needing to cut the cord...when my kids are in my home, they will not be screwing their significant other under my roof.  It didn't bother me that my parents had this rule and they "knew" stuff was going on outside their house, but in their house, I respected the rules and didn't argue. I know many parents that feel that way and have had a few boyfriends in the past with the same rules in their parents' houses.



    This is hypocritical. Premarital sex is either wrong or not. Not just under your own roof.
  • image GhostMonkey:
    image Lue94:

    I'm not surprised that most people don't agree with "making" your child do something, but that's how DH and I were raised and we're not scarred. Music is a big part of my family and everyone plays an instrument and some play multiple instruments. 

    When I was younger, I wanted to quit and my mother didn't let me and made me pratice and I'm so glad she did. I could go on and on about the advantages my musical abilities have given my brothers and I. 

    I guess I just don't think kids should be making decisions on how their lives are shaped. I'm the parent and I will guide you and when the child is 18 or out of the house, then they can make their own decisions. I had a happy childhood, but my parents, especially my mother was the ruler.

    Your kids will hate you. Especially if they happen to be tone deaf or can't read sheet music to save their ass.

    There's making them stick with what they asked to do and then there's being a and forcing them to do something they have no interest in and never wanted to do. Sounds like you will be in the latter category.

    How exactly are your musical abilities helping you now? Do you work in music? Because my years of choir aren't doing shiit for me.

     

    I would hope that my kids won't hate me because I love my parents deeply and I had a close and loving relationship with my parents growing up. I had to lol to what if my child was tone deaf. I'm sorry but if that happens then what can I do but I don't believe at all that that would happen and learning to read sheet music comes with the territory.

    How do my musical abilities help now? Well, let me start with I have heard that music helps with academics and I did well. I went to college on a music scholarship. I was able to travel the world playing in different orchestras, so that was pretty cool and also I feel my child will always have a job even if their college degree isn't as lucrative as they would like.

    I taught music lessons in college and after and music lessons are not cheap so I made a nice living at a young age just doing that. I now use my degree and I'm in health care. Both of my brothers have masters in non musical careers and they don't even use their degrees. The play for churches and funeral parlors. One would be surprised at what churches pay just to play once a week and choir practice once a week.

    Lastly, our faith has a lot to do with it. It's traidition that the "Smith" family plays piano or organ for churches. We all have played for our church at some time in our lives. 

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  • image nicole mackenzie:
    image krdesi:
    image GhostMonkey:
    image krdesi:

    image MeganSony:
    I know this is for an older kid... but I won't let my son have a girl sleep over in his bed under my roof until he is married (or at least seriously committed). H's mom let him have girlfriends sleep over at like 15 and his sister had plenty of boys sleep over. I think it is appalling.

    Yah, I would never allow that to happen.  And I would never allow my child to sleep at a member of the opposite sex's house either. My parents never did and even when I was engaged, my husband had to sleep on the couch and I agree with that.

    Yeah, we were in our mid 20's and 30's when we got married. Fuvck that rule. 

    At some point you do have to cut the cord. Fine when they are in high school, but you are naive if you think you have any control after that point. Or did you marry when you were 18?

     

     

    I was 26 when I got married and it has nothing to do with needing to cut the cord...when my kids are in my home, they will not be screwing their significant other under my roof.  It didn't bother me that my parents had this rule and they "knew" stuff was going on outside their house, but in their house, I respected the rules and didn't argue. I know many parents that feel that way and have had a few boyfriends in the past with the same rules in their parents' houses.

    This is hypocritical. Premarital sex is either wrong or not. Not just under your own roof.

    I disagree...my parents had no control over what I did with my life outside of their house (once I was 18 and not living at home full time), but they can decide what they think is appropriate inside their house and I feel the same way. So basically, in my house, my kids will not be having co-ed sleepovers and will not be attending them either. Period.


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                  TTC #1 since May 2012

                  May 2013: First R.E. appointment

                  DH: SA is good

                   May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
               June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked

                   July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1

                  August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos

             October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI

                        November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties) 

    November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP! 

    Beta#1: 91  Beta#2: 288

    1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!

    3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!

    TEAM BLUE!

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  • image nicole mackenzie:
    image krdesi:

    I was 26 when I got married and it has nothing to do with needing to cut the cord...when my kids are in my home, they will not be screwing their significant other under my roof.  It didn't bother me that my parents had this rule and they "knew" stuff was going on outside their house, but in their house, I respected the rules and didn't argue. I know many parents that feel that way and have had a few boyfriends in the past with the same rules in their parents' houses.

    This is hypocritical. Premarital sex is either wrong or not. Not just under your own roof.

    My parents had that rule until I went to college.  Then, I took a year off between Freshman and Sophomore year.  At that point, my parents basically realized that I had been independent for a year and had sort of made my own rules, so we compromised.  No smoking in the house, but ok on the back porch (Even though they hated that I smoked).  No coming in past midnight but I could stay out until the next morning so long as I called and said I was doing that.  I like this idea and will probably follow it with my kids.  You can't expect the same rules that applied when they were 12 to still apply when they are 21.   

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  • image aessary03:

     

    This one will probably get flamed ..... but my daughter has no choice but to go to college.  She can choose the college, the major, etc., but she has to go.  I think she will appreciate the education and the college experience.  I know I did (I wasn't given the choice either).  I will do what my parents did for me .... I'll pay for her BA, but subsequent degrees are on her.


     

    My husband and I agree with this one...I guess I was kind of "made" to go to college in that my parents instilled this in me from when I was young and basically I went to college and they supported me or I got a job and supported myself.


    **Siggy/Ticker Warning**   

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                  TTC #1 since May 2012

                  May 2013: First R.E. appointment

                  DH: SA is good

                   May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
               June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked

                   July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1

                  August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos

             October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI

                        November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties) 

    November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP! 

    Beta#1: 91  Beta#2: 288

    1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!

    3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!

    TEAM BLUE!

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