Here's one for you (cultural issue, apparently)

Cranang

So, I work as an inventory control analyst for an after market car parts manufacturer.  I don't know that many people out in the plant, and most of them are Mexican with very limited English, so I couldn't speak to them anyway.  There are a few I know, and a few I've talked with on maybe 5 occasions.

One of the girls in the latter group just called my desk, and said that she has an invitation for me to her brother's wife's baby shower.  I do not know said brother or his lovely wife, yet I am being invited.  I BARELY know the girl who is bringing me the invite.

So, is this a cultural thing?  Because I have been invited to several baby showers here, by the Hispanic ladies, for people I don't know personally. 

Helenahhandbasket

It sounds like it most likely is.

The pearl clutcher in me would feel compelled to decline but send a gift.

Or, maybe you just have a nice face?

BrianaSimons

omg can you say awkward.  politely decline but then their is that aching feeling you should send a gift. but then what if it happens multiple times......then your spending loads of money on people you dont even know.

Cranang

Given that I've never even laid eyes on the MTB, or her husband, I'm going to decline without sending a gift.

526SadieSadie

I think someone responded to that race/culture post with something about the hispanic culture and lots of people being invited to events like that as the norm.

My SIL barely knew a guy she worked with and he gave her an invitation to his GF's baby shower. I think she sent a gift but didn't attend.

Cranang

526SadieSadie:

I think someone responded to that race/culture post with something about the hispanic culture and lots of people being invited to events like that as the norm.

My SIL barely knew a guy she worked with and he gave her an invitation to his GF's baby shower. I think she sent a gift but didn't attend.

I understand that they might invite a lot of people, but to invite COMPLETE strangers???  I'm sorry, I don't what culture you come from, that's just rude.  Why don't I just walk up to people on the street and ask them to buy me something?

EastCoastBride

Cranang:

Given that I've never even laid eyes on the MTB, or her husband, I'm going to decline without sending a gift.

I would do the same thing.  I wouldn't want there to be ANY expectation that if you invited me when I hardly know you and DO NOT know your family- that I'm now going to start giving gifts for every event I'm invited to. 

526SadieSadie

Cranang:

526SadieSadie:

I think someone responded to that race/culture post with something about the hispanic culture and lots of people being invited to events like that as the norm.

My SIL barely knew a guy she worked with and he gave her an invitation to his GF's baby shower. I think she sent a gift but didn't attend.

I understand that they might invite a lot of people, but to invite COMPLETE strangers???  I'm sorry, I don't what culture you come from, that's just rude.  Why don't I just walk up to people on the street and ask them to buy me something?

I wasn't saying I agree with it, just posted my recollection of a previous discussion and didn't bother to check the old post.

I'm with you, it's gift-grabby at best.  

Cranang

526SadieSadie:

Cranang:

526SadieSadie:

I think someone responded to that race/culture post with something about the hispanic culture and lots of people being invited to events like that as the norm.

My SIL barely knew a guy she worked with and he gave her an invitation to his GF's baby shower. I think she sent a gift but didn't attend.

I understand that they might invite a lot of people, but to invite COMPLETE strangers???  I'm sorry, I don't what culture you come from, that's just rude.  Why don't I just walk up to people on the street and ask them to buy me something?

I wasn't saying I agree with it, just posted my recollection of a previous discussion and didn't bother to check the old post.

I'm with you, it's gift-grabby at best.  

I'm sorry if that came across weird...I wasn't getting on to you!!!  It was more righteous indignation...LOL

duffmaker

Yeah that's strange I would decline and not send a gift, maybe she did it out of respect because you're her "boss"? I could see that happening

ellewoodsSC

It's funny that there's such a cultural difference in how things are viewed.  Honestly, in many cultures gift giving at events is less of a priority than it here where we make a big deal of displaying and showing off who gave what to whom.  In other cultures, having a big fun party where guests come to share in the feast, drink, socialize and have fun in celebration of an event takes center stage instead of the gift giving.  With so many people coming and going, a gift is not even expected.  

I obviously would decline the invitation because I am sure you will feel like quite the outsider at such an event, but I also would not be offended and think this was a purely a gift-grabbing attempt.

Pearls+Oysters

ellewoodsSC:

It's funny that there's such a cultural difference in how things are viewed.  Honestly, in many cultures gift giving at events is less of a priority than it here where we make a big deal of displaying and showing off who gave what to whom.  In other cultures, having a big fun party where guests come to share in the feast, drink, socialize and have fun in celebration of an event takes center stage instead of the gift giving.  With so many people coming and going, a gift is not even expected.  

All of this. Honeslty, I roll my eyes at the gift grabby comments. Maybe in your pearl clutcher american "civilized" eyes, but seriously, some cultures just care about the party. (And sticking up for each other too.)

In my father's family, and we're talking Carribean peeps, food is the main objective, booze being close second (yes! booze, at a baby shower!! Creeps!!!) and socializing with everyone is the main activity. People are family, wether it's your third neighbor or a friend of a friend you've never seen, if they have a connection to your family / friends, then they're family! 

I don't care what your North American stick in the butt etiquette says, travel the world a little and you'll find a realm of endless partying possibilities and many people worth laying eyes on. Even learning a new language for!

**Please note that this is not intended solely for OP, and that you need a little more sense of humour and a little less sense of right vs wrong when threading on International waters.**

Pearls+Oysters

Oh did you miss the sense of humour comment?
For OP to say she barely ever laid eyes on the father and/or barely ever spoken to other employees because they speak spanish and not english, does not make her sound superior?
I merely stated that judging and side eyeing a different culture's way of doing things is ignorant. Educate yourselves instead of holding on to your or rather, an old white woman's way to do things.

I don't think of myself as international, but intercultural instead, by the way. : I guess being a mutt and raised according to different cultures and ways of doing things has opened my mind. Thank goodness for that!