Adoption Shower?

Jontue

Not sure if that is the name for it, but looking for ideas. Open to all opinions. To kids to be adopted are toddlers. There so many ways to go or not go with this. Some lingering thoughts: Is this a family event so make it more age appropriate for the kids to enjoy? Is it a gift registry gift giving event?

cinderin

I am a little confused about what you are asking. 

Is this a baby shower for a woman who is becoming a mother for the first time through adoption?

If so, I would ask the mother what she would prefer. She may prefer a more "traditional" all-women type shower. She may prefer a more casual co-ed (family) BBQ type shower. 

If the kids are going to be there, it might be more of a "meet the child(ren)" party. I think it depends on if the mom wants the kids there. I don't know if I could "enjoy" a party in my honor while I am watching my two new toddlers, but maybe that's just me :-). 

Jontue

cinderin:

I am a little confused about what you are asking.nbsp;Is this a baby shower for a woman who is becoming a mother for the first time through adoption?If so, I would ask the mother what she would prefer. She may prefer a more "traditional" allwomen type shower. She may prefer a more casual coed family BBQ type shower.nbsp;If the kids are going to be there, it might be more of a "meet the children" party.nbsp;I think it depends on if the mom wants the kids there. I don't know if I could "enjoy" a party in my honor while I am watching my two new toddlers, but maybe that's just me :.nbsp;

Yes she is becoming a parent for the first time.

I asked and we both have the same questions as to what has been in other events such as this.

We were both so excited by the idea but now that the date is getting closer we are realizing the many differences to consider.

Like having the kids there, she is torn with having an event without her children and how it would be perceived. She could use a break, but of course has mommy guilt.

And is the party still in her honor? Or the kids? Or the family unit?

cinderin

Jontue:

cinderin:

I am a little confused about what you are asking.nbsp;Is this a baby shower for a woman who is becoming a mother for the first time through adoption?If so, I would ask the mother what she would prefer. She may prefer a more "traditional" allwomen type shower. She may prefer a more casual coed family BBQ type shower.nbsp;If the kids are going to be there, it might be more of a "meet the children" party.nbsp;I think it depends on if the mom wants the kids there. I don't know if I could "enjoy" a party in my honor while I am watching my two new toddlers, but maybe that's just me :.nbsp;

Yes she is becoming a parent for the first time. I asked and we both have the same questions as to what has been in other events such as this. We were both so excited by the idea but now that the date is getting closer we are realizing the many differences to consider. Like having the kids there, she is torn with having an event without her children and how it would be perceived. She could use a break, but of course has mommy guilt. And is the party still in her honor? Or the kids? Or the family unit?

well, if it is a "shower" it is in her honor.

If it is a "meet the child(ren)" party, it is in the kid's honor.

I would go with what she wants. It sounds like she would like a traditional women-only shower. Maybe DH and his brother, uncle, father, FIL can babysit for a couple hours? 

Jontue

cinderin:

well, if it is a "shower" it is in her honor. If it is a "meet the children" party, it is in the kid's honor.I would go with what she wants. It sounds like she would like a traditional womenonly shower. Maybe DH and his brother, uncle, father, FIL can babysit for a couple hours?nbsp;

Thanks for your input. I will talk her again and see about the babysit idea.

Jontue

milkergirl1:

I would ask this on the adoption board and see what their experience is with this.nbsp; My mom was thrown a shower when my brother and I were adopted by the ladies at our church, but we were both infants.nbsp;

Thank you I posted the same there also.

Jontue

auntie:

The only adoption shower I ever gave was pretty much like any other shower. We followed the model for any FTM party ahead of their arrivals with gifts aimed more at the ages of the toddlers 15 monthsnbsp;being adopted. They got some "baby gear" like a stroller, diaper bag and potty as well as clothes, toys, books.

Thank you. I think I am going to try it this way. I'll discuss with mtb.

BrianaSimons

I would personally address it in the invite. Letting them know that this is an Adult only baby shower. If these are your close friends put a little "sn" at the botton to address the no kids rule and dress code for your shower.

Stina2012

BrianaSimons:

I would personally address it in the invite. Letting them know that this is an Adult only baby shower. If these are your close friends put a little "sn" at the botton to address the no kids rule and dress code for your shower.

You seem to have issues understanding the proper way to address an invitation as you posted bad advice here and another post.

Invitations should be addressed to only the people who are invited to an event. It is rude to make note of who is not invited, so "Adults Only" on an invitation is rude.

kmkaull2

We adopted our son at birth and had a couple kinds of showers, but both were after TPR (parental rights) were terminated.

First shower was a family cook-out kind of thing.  It was very casual and though people did bring gifts, it was really just a meet the baby kind of thing. 

The other shower was more of a traditional shower with my girlfriends.  That one was nice because it felt like a normal shower . . . something I didn't think I'd ever have.  I did bring the baby for an hour and then my husband picked him up.  It was nice to have a little break.  :-)

I would encourage her to register.   Maybe at a place like Amazon or Target where people can buy books, toys, games, plates/bowls.  Though we did register for a few traditional baby items, we had already purchased most baby care items ourselves.  Still, she'd probably love to have a collection of toddler toys and books.

 So nice of you to do this.  I am sure she's very grateful!

Jontue

kmkaull2:

We adopted our son at birth and had a couple kinds of showers, but both were after TPR parental rights were terminated. First shower was a family cookout kind of thing.nbsp; It was very casual and though people did bring gifts, it was really just a meet the baby kind of thing.nbsp;The other shower was more of a traditional shower with my girlfriends.nbsp; That one was nice because it felt like a normal shower . . . something I didn't think I'd ever have.nbsp; I did bring the baby for an hour and then my husband picked him up.nbsp; It was nice to have a little break.nbsp; : I would encourage her to register. nbsp; Maybe at a place like Amazon or Target where people can buy books, toys, games, plates/bowls.nbsp; Though we did register for a few traditional baby items, we had already purchased most baby care items ourselves.nbsp; Still, she'd probably love to have a collection of toddler toys and books.nbsp;So nice of you to do this.nbsp; I am sure she's very grateful!

Thank you. Sounds great! I am so excited for her!