1st Trimester

help! pregnant again..

Ok so any advice or positive words?

My son was born on Thanksgiving 2012.. I am now due Oct 31st 2013. Im only 4 weeks so I am not ready to tell people close to me yet and I just found out today because I missed my period. My fianc? and I had talked about having two babies close but I did not think we would have them this close. Don't get me wrong, we are both very excited it is just a lot to take in. We have a wedding we are planning and saving for Oct 4th 2014. So by this time we will have two wonderful babies under 2. My son is such an angel and I love him so much I do not want to take away from the attention of him. I was VERY na?ve in thinking we wouldn't get pregnant so soon and had planned on going on birth control in the next two weeks. So maybe it is fate? I guess I am not ready for the "what were you thinking? How will you two adfford this? Can you guys handle this" lectures. Not to mention my sister whi is two years older has been trying for a year and stopped talking to me when I told her I was pregnant with my son. We did not talk until I was 7 months and she had found out she was pregnant.. She then miscarried at 10weeks. I am so scared to tell her and lose her again. We also only have a 2 bedroom house and will need to now buy a home to fit our growing family.

Well, thanks for listening.. or reading my vent.

Re: help! pregnant again..

  • I compltely understand the whole sister thing, my sister has not been talking to me either. I got tired of trying to talk to her civilly only to be returned by being cursed out. I feel for you there hon. I really, really do. Not sharing this with my sister is killing me. And that is close together but you CAN do it. oh and another thing you said you know b/c you "missed your period today" but you didn't mention taking a pregnancy test...did you take one? maybe you are only "late". I really hope everything works out well for you. Take care of yourself. If you are pregnant, I really feel for you the day you have to tell your sister, I would just be as sensitive as possible, and I woudln't tell her right away...and you wont' be "taking away attention" from your DS, it just means you'll have twice as much love to go around! congrats and I hope everything works out for you.
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


  • I agree with most everything the pp said.

    Also just wait to tell people, if they ask why you're pg again- tell them that it was your choice. You dont own anyone a explaination it's your life. And you don't need to get a new place just because you have a 2 bedroom. babies dont need that much space. Maybe in a few or 5 years you may want to get a bigger place but you'll be fine.



    Bison (FCS) beats Big 12 Champs Kansas St (24-21)!!!
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  • Well...you were having sex and not using birth control, so you can't actually be surprised that you're pregnant again, right?

    I'm sure 2 under 1 will be challenging and people will comment on it for sure, but what are you going to do? You're in it now and I'm sure you'll manage. You don't need to buy a new house - plenty of kids share rooms - and your sister will eventually be happy for you, even if she's frustrated now. good luck!

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • Yes, I took a test this morning and the line was SO faint I thought my mind was playing ticks on me. I had to hold it in the sun light to see it.. So we went out to get a digital one and it came back pregnant!

    I know the risk was there but we used BC on and off and I guess having multiple people around me trying to get pregnant and not left me na?ve that we do it once and we get pregnant.. ya know? We discussed it so yes it will have been mostly a planned pregnancy its just the initial shock right now! Thank you everyone for feedback and encouragement.

  • We got the same thing from people when we got pregnant with ds. Honestly, we were trying. Everytime someone said "wow you're going to be busy!" I'd simply reply "Well we wouldnt have been trying if we werent ready." Granted that isn't exactly your situation but if you get negative comments brush them off. People show their concern in very a&^hole-ish ways sometimes.

    As for your sister, you may just have to explain to her that you're sorry that it worked out this way but this is your life and if you and your fiance want to expand your family then you have that right to. IMO, you cant live your life for other people and what they want or dont want.

  • I don't think you need a new house yet. My 3 boys share a room. Sharing a room will not kill kids. Also you can always add on (what we are doing now since we have a 2 bedroom and my daughter can go into her own room) My boys are nor 5 1/2, 4 1/2 and 3 1/2. I STILL get comments on how close I had them. 

    People will always make comments about children being close together. My boys are 13 and 14 months apart. #1 was a preemie and on a monitor for the first year and a half of his life. You learn to adapt to the situations and ignore people.

    Sorry about your sister, it must be hard on you and her. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • My hubby and I just adopted our DD who was born Oct 1 and found out Im pregnant with twins due Oct 7..... I am so stressed and worried about everyones judgements as well but it is what it is....lol.  As for your sister shame on her I went through IF for 4 years and thats unacceptable for her to act like that.
    After three miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy we are currently pursuing adoption. " Born not from our flesh, but born in our heart. You were longed for and wanted and loved from the start."
  • I just wanted to say that from personal experience, you're not taking away from your son. Instead, you're giving him the gift of a lifelong close friend! The closer in age siblings are in general the closer they usually become. We're currently expecting our 8th no, not a typo!! and so we know the comments...and yes, we do know what causes pregnancy! ; And I'd say until you know that this one is a girl, don't rush out looking for a 3 bedroom. Young children enjoy each others company and can share a room for some time! As for your sister, BTDT. My sister has two children but went through a not so nice divorce. She always longed for more children so when she found out we were expecting our last one she all but disowned me. She gradually accepted the fact that we were going to have a baby with or without her support and by the time the baby was born she was happy to have a new niece. Probably the most important piece of advice I would give, take care of YOU!! Having two itty bittys is hard work...rewarding...but difficult! I'm sure you'll do great...
  • Thank you all for the support!! It's great to have positive feedback! I plan on setting up a doc apt and if everything looks good I'll tell my family at 8weeks. Although it's hard to keep my lips sealed! :
  • : you know I love the idea of saving for your wedding, my fianc and were doing the sme thing and we had our son 3 yrs before got married. In the end I tired of waiting to marry him with the big lavish wedding everyone had expected so we decided to have an intimate 30 person wedding. I still got my dress and party favors, hair makeup etc but things were a lot cheaper and far more less stressful with our immediate family and closest friends around us, perhaps you ,ought consider that outlet as well. A few ,on this later I went to a friends wedding who had 300 ppl there and she was beyond overwhelmed it made me even more grateful for our small wedding. As for having baby number 2 now, don't sweat it , we are prego with our second and I haven't finished school yet. Don't let the worry about the lectures rob u of your joy, they may not even happen . Talk to ur mom about your concerns with your sister and about wedding ideas . Hope you feel better.
    L.M. Chilcott
  • My brother and I are only 10 1/2 months apart and we loved being so close in age! Good luck!
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