Men at baby showers

Barbara83

What is the general rule for this? I know it's usually only females at the shower but I'd like my dad, my FI's dad, my FI's best friend and his uncle who we are very close with to be be invited/attend but if I invite a few males, would other women who attend be insulted that I didn't invite their spouses? I don't mind inviting all the men but I'm worried about having too many people invited and having it be expensive. 

OctGirl80

I would either make it co-ed or not. If I was invited to a 'women only' shower, only to see a half dozen guys there, I'd be wondering what was up.

 

Also, the person hosting should give you a number of guests that they can accommodate, financially or otherwise.

trudibell

Mine is going to be co-ed, I think it's a "to each their own" kind of thing.  It'd be better to just make it co-ed, but you could always just play the old "the men folk are here to lug all the gifts to the car" card too.  

ordinary1

OctGirl80:

I would either make it coed or not. If I was invited to a 'women only' shower, only to see a half dozen guys there, I'd be wondering what was up.nbsp;Also, the person hosting should give you a number of guests that they can accommodate, financially or otherwise.

This! I would make it all or none after checking with your host how many she I willing/planned on having.

Stacey209

I havent been to baby showers where men actually stayed the entire time.  Usually, it was dad to be and grandpa's and they ate and left and came back at the end to say thank you and load the car.  To each their own and I wouldnt think anything of it if they were there. But do these guys really want to sit for 3 hours and watch you open gifts?

rhubarb123

trudibell:

Mine is going to be co-ed, I think it's a "to each their own" kind of thing.  It'd be better to just make it co-ed, but you could always just play the old "the men folk are here to lug all the gifts to the car" card too.  

Umm...no it is really not "to each their own" kind of thing in my opinion.  You want your guests to be comfortable and like the other guests think it is a womens only shower and then a few men are there they will probably think it was pretty bad you didn't invite their DHs/SOs as well.  I know I'd wonder...not that my DH would go.  He has gone to 2 co-ed showers and said "not again!'.  I've had to go by myself to the last couple.

Most men I know (actually all of them - lol) do not enjoy sitting through a shower...unless it is co-ed.  I've gone to a couple where just the DTB was there and both of them acted and looked extremely uncomfortable the whole time.  Usually the DTB shows up at the end to lug the gifts to the car.  Most of our friends have the guys "do somthing else"...go golfing, cigar bar, take in a movie together, etc.

Make it co-ed or no men.

EastCoastBride

I agree do coed it not. BUT you have to talk to your host first and make sure they are ok with this/ can handle the of people. If they can't, respect that.

But ti follow on rhubarb keep in mind that most men have absolutely bono desire to go to a shower.

CRLSMC2011

Like PPs said, you can't pick and choose which men are coming.  If you want DTB and grandfathers to be, fine, but limit to that.  And they probably won't want to be there.

I had my shower this weekend and exactly 2 men (and 1 boy) were there and made themselves scarce.  DH came by at the very beginning (because he dropped me off and guests started showing up before he could escape) and at the end (after he went out to lunch, ran a couple of errands and sat in the car for a half hour killing time to avoid being there--and most people were gone by then).  My brother was there with his 3 year old son because it was at his house.  He was going to go out, but their dog sitting plans fell through at the last minute and the puppy (3 month old lab) could not be left alone with a house full of people.  So my brother, my nephew and the dog stayed in the basement for most of the time.  My brother and my nephew came upstairs for a few minutes a couple of times--to get something to eat, to get dessert and so my nephew could see my grandmother and aunts and mom.  I think their total time upstairs was 10 minutes and I think my brother took out the trash while he was up as well. 

But showers really are a woman-thing and men don't like to be there. 

526SadieSadie

It's kind of an all or nothing thing.  You wouldn't like it if you were invited to a party alone and when you got there, other women were there with their spouses.  It's rude to exclude people like that.

I think on the whole, men don't want to go to baby showers.  DH and I went to a shower for a friend and the whole way there he asked me "I'm not the only guy, right?  I've never heard of this - are you SURE I'm not the only guy there?"

 

RibbitGrl930

526SadieSadie:

It's kind of an all or nothing thing.  You wouldn't like it if you were invited to a party alone and when you got there, other women were there with their spouses.  It's rude to exclude people like that.

I think on the whole, men don't want to go to baby showers.  DH and I went to a shower for a friend and the whole way there he asked me "I'm not the only guy, right?  I've never heard of this - are you SURE I'm not the only guy there?"

Was about to post pretty much the same thing. It's kind of like kids at a wedding; telling some people theirs can come and others theirs can't will create some resentment and hard feelings. I'd either make it completely co-ed (provided your hostess can afford it) or all-female.

OctGirl80

526SadieSadie:

It's kind of an all or nothing thing.  You wouldn't like it if you were invited to a party alone and when you got there, other women were there with their spouses.  It's rude to exclude people like that.

I think on the whole, men don't want to go to baby showers.  DH and I went to a shower for a friend and the whole way there he asked me "I'm not the only guy, right?  I've never heard of this - are you SURE I'm not the only guy there?"

 

 

Love that! Mine has been to one co-ed shower and will not do it again. Ever.

lizzied2702

I was having the same conversation with my mother earlier today. From past experience, I've been to several baby showers where it was all women and a 'men's table.' I have 3 very close childhood male friends, 2 of which are gay and love all things baby who I think would very much enjoy being there; the 3rd is married to a close girlfriend of mine and they would know most women there as well. With our group of family and friends, I don't think that people would wonder whey their SO's weren't invited. Like others said, most men have absolutely no interest in attending the shower, but I think it would be nice to include them. 

notkateanymore

We had a coed shower and I loved it. Though IMO if you want to invite your father, etc. and it's OK with your hostesses, go for it.