Need to vent

Robeano

okay I have two vents.

1. my in-laws. So back story, my sister is what I'd call "granola", she's into attachment parenting, super hippy type person. (not there's anything wrong with it, that is just who she is) So in my family I'm more "mainstream" compared to her. But she has a lot of ideas that I like and I use them, it's b/c of her I want to cloth diaper, baby wear etc. Now the funny part is with my in-laws, I'm the "hippy granola" person. And my MIL has this amazing way of judging something without actually saying the words. Like her attitude is like "well if it works for you.." but she doesn't say it positively it's in the tone of voice of "well you're gonna find out the hard way" Like for example, I don't leave Hannah in the car seat for long periods of time, I firmly believe you can't spoil a newborn. Well my in-laws are like, "well maybe you can't spoil them but you can teach them a dependency on that" So basically saying that you can spoil them. argh. I mean I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I feel like every decision we make is "supported", but my words alone only. And then she gets all upset b/c I don't ask her for help or don't invite her over. Well I don't want your help, you don't really support or agree with what we're doing

 2. This one is minor but it annoyed me the other day. Okay so my best friend and her mom stopped by to see Hannah the other day. Best friend mom lives in Alberta. Now up until October when said best friend got married, she lived with DH and I. She is fully aware that we are planning on cloth diapering. So they come over, and best friend's mom had bough us a pack of size 3 diapers (she currently weights 10lbs and is in size 1). I was so frustrated by it, especially b/c WalMart doesn't allow you to return diapers, only exchange them for another size. I've been dying to use my cloth diapers but I had so many diapers given to me at my shower, I was finally down to one more box, and now I have another one to go through...... argh.

Anybody else have some vents?!

kaf7

Hey Robeano

Just wanted to suggest maybe donate the diapers to good will or something if you don't want to use them?

Not that that helps with your overall frustrations, but it may set the karma in the world back on track In a granola kind of way (I'm being a bit tongue in cheek there and hope you don't misinterpret!).  

I think in laws (and for some both sets of grandparents) tend to be like that for anything you do differently than they did. It's part of the cycle...so no suggestions really but GL. 

kaf7

Alternatively I know most cloth diapering moms still always have some disposables on hand for travelling out of the home as they can be easier to handle in some situations...

amandaleigh1

kaf7:

Alternatively I know most cloth diapering moms still always have some disposables on hand for travelling out of the home as they can be easier to handle in some situations...

Yup. i cloth diaper, but I keep one pack of current size disposable on hand just in case. So far, I haven't needed to use my back up diapers, so when we move on to the next size, I donate them to a charity. Good feeling all around :

mel72

kaf7:

Hey Robeano

Just wanted to suggest maybe donate the diapers to good will or something if you don't want to use them?

Not that that helps with your overall frustrations, but it may set the karma in the world back on track In a granola kind of way (I'm being a bit tongue in cheek there and hope you don't misinterpret!).  

I think in laws (and for some both sets of grandparents) tend to be like that for anything you do differently than they did. It's part of the cycle...so no suggestions really but GL. 

Amen!

Mrs.AmyDylan

Sorry you are getting stressed by peeps. 

For your in-laws can your hubby talk to them and tell them to curb the attitude? Perhaps if you invite them over more for short stretches they will lay off the complaining? If they give you "advice" you can politely thank them and let that end the conversation. Explaining your side doesn't work, you just sound defensive (and to them arguing against their own parenting skills).

A friend of mine said a funny thing for a different situation yesterday, but it applies (so I adapted it). "Arguing with in-laws is like getting into the mud to wrestle with a pig. Only the pig likes it, and you ain't no pig!" 

For the diapers, I cloth diaper, but J got a bad rash so we used sposies for a week until it healed. Start using your cloth now and trade in as you my need or a trip or rash. Or regift them to a friend.  

Ruthie04

Oh in-laws...always a delight. I'm also of the belief that you can't spoil a newborn. Their brains can't process the concept. And, I second the donation idea. I'm a social worker and our agency always takes diaper donations for the early head start centers and shelter. In fact, they just sent out an email saying level 3 diapers are the most desired size! A diaper donation is always very appreciated. 

Saraevh

In-laws are so annoying.  Try to ignore them and do what you want - although I completely understand how the little jabs can get under your skin.  Mine drive me C-RAZY and I would not be upset at all if they decided to up and move to another continent.  

I like the idea of saving the diapers to use as back ups.  I cloth diapered my daughter for awhile (have since given it up after I had another kid 15 months later and I always used disposables when we went out just because it was easier for me.  

Or you could always donate or save them for your next kid!  Diapers don't go bad   

IBackBevo

Totally agree with what PP said about saving them for back-ups or exchanging them for a larger size and using those as back-ups as LO gets bigger.

As for the in-laws, I've had so many problems with my in-laws over the years my DH have ended up in counseling over it before.  I don't have any great advice other than just to say that there is a reason so many jokes are written about in-laws...it is a problem that most people run into.

Dragonfly1226

I totally hear you on the MIL comments! I was talking on the phone with MIL from the hospital the day after DS was born. I was saying how in love we were with him and how we just never wanted to put him down. Her exact response was, "Be careful. You are going to spoil that baby." The child wasn't even 24 hours yold yet and she was telling me to put him down! I calmly told her that less than a day ago. Was holding him 24-7 and that it was missile to spoil a newborn by holding him too much. Obviously if I still remember the conversation two years later it bothered me. Unfortunately, for us it was just the start of many judgemental comments. We mostly either ignore them or refute her stupid opinions with research. I would just donate the diapers too local shelter or givethemto a friend.

lovebug33

You could always send the diapers to me I ignore the in-laws. I always get comments about, "Put that baby down." Glad I didn't listen. DD doesn't want to be held as much now and I'm glad I didn't listen to them. You know what to do and you should do it! And do I have vents? Oh, a ton, but not going to bore you with them!

TJ1979

I'm sorry your ILs aren't being supportive. I've gotten my share of ridiculous IL comments myself. Such as being told that I won't want to BF after 3 months, because I might leak at work and a man might see it. I work in a hospital. If a man in a hospital can't handle a little bodily fluid, that's his problem. Same IL also told me we need to get rid of our flat screen TV because it will fall on our baby and kill her. Way to make a new mom feel good! Just remember that you are the mama. They can have all the opinions that they want, but you can do whatever you and YH decide is right for you. For the diapers, I would go ahead and start using the cloth, and keep those as backups. Sometimes E would get a bad rash and we would put her in a sposie overnight with some non-CD-safe cream. I keep a couple extra sposies in the diaper bag since they take up little space and a couple in my car for emergencies, and a couple at day care just in case. Use your fluff! It's fun!

pb_bride

Vent away, Robeano.  ILs are tricky, esp when there's a grandbaby involved!  My ILs are nice people, but my FIL's personality is totally "glass half empty" and just looks at the negative side of every. single. thing.  It didn't bother me too much when it was just me & DH, but now with M here, I really get hurt and offended by some of his comments.  He just can never look at the bright side of things and say something positive.

AS for the diapers, I'd say keep them as they may come in handy.  You may need sposies in case you're dealing w/ a diaper rash and need diaper cream that is not CD-safe. Or when you go on a trip you may not want to deal with cloth etc.  Just hang on to them and if you never end up using them, you can always give it away to someone else.