Late Term and Child Loss

Sad over pics (ticker warning) Rainbow mentioned also

This may seem weird but I have a hard time now at 17 months later looking at pictures of my Sydney. It is just to painful sometimes to see her sweet face and know that she didn't make it and my other kids did.  

I also wonder if it has a lot to do with having my rainbow I noticed before I was pregnant I could sit and stare at her pics all day long then the closer my rainbow due date came I couldn't look at Sydney's pictures with out being so sad. I think it has a ton to do with guilt , feeling guilty for moving forward with a new baby and feeling like my Sydney is looking down on me sad that I have a new baby. I know it sounds crazy but I just think that. There truly are a ton of mixed feelings I am having about everything that has happened int he 17 months since losing her. Our lives are so different I am so different.

There really isn't a real reason I posted just thinking as I sit here.



DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8

Re: Sad over pics (ticker warning) Rainbow mentioned also

  • Hugs to you Heather.
  • (Hugs) to you. Thank you for posting. For those of us wishing for our rainbows, it is helpful to hear about some things we may have to experience ourselves. I am sure Syndey is looking down on her little sibling with a lot of love, thankful that her mommy has a baby to kiss on. 

    Praying for peace for you. 

    Lilypie - (qptF)

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."

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  • Hugs to you. I can't imagine all the emotions your feeling, it must be very hard at times. I think what your feeling is completely normal. I am sure Sydney is so happy you have another baby. She is probably happy that you have that joy. I am my Mom's rainbow baby. She lost my sister in 1980 at 38 weeks. I always feel like my sister Jessica is watching over me. I'm sure the emotions your feeling right now will always be with you. I read somewhere that when you have your rainbow baby you still notice the silence from the child who is not there. Hang in there. 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial ticker
    Due with baby boy # 2 in May 2016
    DD #1 born January 2014

  • ((Hugs)) I'm sorry your feeling like this. I bet Sydney is very happy to have a baby sister she could play with when ger sister dreams :) I, too, have been in a rough patch thinking how old Bri would be and the things she'd be doing and how much more playful she'd be with her brothers. I've got 1 picture of her up but haven't looked at much and I haven't touched her memory book in a long time. I know I'll probably be having these same feelings you're having when I finally get my rainbow. ((Hugs))
    Tim 12/30/00 Brad 4/30/02 Alex 9/29/03 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • (((Hugs))) I haven't looked at Eliott's pics in a year and a half. It still hurts so much. I am feeling a lot of those same feelings now that Lucy is here. Feel free to message me here or on fb if you want to chat about it.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • Heather,

    I am so sorry you are hurting. HUGS


    TTC #1 since 10/2010 RE consult 6/2011 PCOS (known) MFI IVF #1 w/ICSI 2/2012 BFP TRIPLETS our angels grew wings at 19.5 weeks 6.25.12 IVF #2 2/2013 Sono shows tissue Hysteroscopy needed Changing RE Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ~~~all welcome~~~
  • Heather, I am sure you are going through so many emotions since having your rainbow.  I can understand how it hurts to look at her pictures, I know you miss her soooo much.  

    There is a lot of guilt that comes with moving forward, even though its part of the natural process, it doesn't feel natural.  If almost feels strange to be happy without the one you lost.  Everything is so different now, and you are right, you are different.  Lots of hugs to you.    

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
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