This may seem weird but I have a hard time now at 17 months later looking at pictures of my Sydney. It is just to painful sometimes to see her sweet face and know that she didn't make it and my other kids did.
I also wonder if it has a lot to do with having my rainbow I noticed before I was pregnant I could sit and stare at her pics all day long then the closer my rainbow due date came I couldn't look at Sydney's pictures with out being so sad. I think it has a ton to do with guilt , feeling guilty for moving forward with a new baby and feeling like my Sydney is looking down on me sad that I have a new baby. I know it sounds crazy but I just think that. There truly are a ton of mixed feelings I am having about everything that has happened int he 17 months since losing her. Our lives are so different I am so different.
There really isn't a real reason I posted just thinking as I sit here.