Yesterday K was at our neighbor's playing. After K got picked up by BM, the neighbor came over to talk to me and DH about something K said when she was over there. I guess while the girls were playing they started talking about T's (the neighbor who is K's age) birthday coming up and T told K her birthday is on a Wednesday this year and that she wants K to come to her party. K said, "I'm with my mom on Wednesdays so she'll just rip up the invitation.". My neighbor told K that the party would be on a weekend and that she would talk to me and her dad to figure out a good date, and then she changed the subject.
DH and I talked about this last night and we're kind of split on what to do. I feel like we don't need to really discuss it with K, because we already know BM does this stuff. There have been times when K has been invited to parties on our weekends and we never see the invite, BM just calls and RSVP's "no" without asking my husband about it. We have found out later about the party and now the parents at school send home 2 invites with K, one on a day BM picks her up and one when I pick her up. I know this behavior hurts K, and that's why I feel like if we try and discuss it with her today she's just going to be more upset. My husband wants to talk to K about it and try to reassure her that BM has her bests interests at heart and doesn't want her to be hurt.
Why should we make up stuff in order to paint BM in a better light? I feel like K is starting to see what BM is doing, and as sad as it is and as much as we hate seeing K hurt, the sooner she figures stuff out the better. I'm not saying we should bash BM or start disclosing more of her antics to K so that K sees the full picture, just that it's not our responsibility to defend BM or lie on her behalf.
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