Rough IF day

Jzyla

Today is a rough IF day for me. I've been trying to keep TTC off my mind. My best friend is due in a month and I'm trying not to wallow in self-pity. We were already 18months TTC when they got married. At that time, I thought at least I would probably get pregnant before her. Then, when she announced they were, I thought at least maybe we could be pregnant at the same time. Now I'm realizing that she is going to have a baby and I'm not. I don't know if I ever will. And I don't know what to do with that. Anyways - that's the kind of thing I'm trying not to focus on.

Last night my sisters and I got together and had a few drinks. I thought that would help me keep my mind off of things. However, one sister brought IF up, saying that my Mom and other sister had been talking about it. My family is close but we just don't talk about certain things, so IF has never been up for discussion. They know that we've been trying for a long time, but they have no idea where we're at in terms of diagnosis (lack of) or treatment. I find the whole thing so awkward. Anyways, apparently my Mom told my sister that she wanted to offer to pay for IVF for us, if/when we need it.. I know that's amazing and generous and we would be incredibly lucky. But for some reason, I don't feel any better. I don't know why. I really hope this doesn't offend anyone - I don't mean to sound ungrateful or complain when we may have this opportunity. But I feel like I should feel better. And I don't.

Anyways, sorry for the long rambling diary entry. I'm just having a hard time picking myself up today. Hope tomorrow is better. Thanks for reading.

 

WANTINGTOBEMUMMY

I can understand where you are coming from my sister in law is pregnant she is 17 weeks so while your family have offered to pay for you to have IVF you still want to concive the natural way because that's part of the magic when you find out your pregnant sometimes it can happen straight away for people and for others it will happen when it happens but sometimes it can be due to any contraception you have been on and how long you have been on it it's a struggle i myself have been trying for 2 years so i know how it feels but the way i see it is when i finally concive it will be my miricale baby and when your best friend has heer baby you can still be there for her and the baby and when you concive it will be your miracle so my advice to you would be smile and keep trying and make sure you chart your temp and keep your periods charted make sure they are regular and if you need to chat you can message me whenever you like

chickyclg

I hope the day gets better, I know the feeling, IF sucks. 

DebateThis

WANTINGTOBEMUMMY:

I can understand where you are coming from my sister in law is pregnant she is 17 weeks so while your family have offered to pay for you to have IVF you still want to concive the natural way because that's part of the magic when you find out your pregnant sometimes it can happen straight away for people and for others it will happen when it happens but sometimes it can be due to any contraception you have been on and how long you have been on it it's a struggle i myself have been trying for 2 years so i know how it feels but the way i see it is when i finally concive it will be my miricale baby and when your best friend has heer baby you can still be there for her and the baby and when you concive it will be your miracle so my advice to you would be smile and keep trying and make sure you chart your temp and keep your periods charted make sure they are regular and if you need to chat you can message me whenever you like

Hi and welcome to the board.

I understand your sentiment and the thought behind it is nice but PLEASE use proper grammar and punctuation on this board.

Another point we're sticklers on is factual information - your comment regarding contraception impeding fertility is false; please make sure you don't pass on incorrect information.

Also, it's pretty off-putting to suggest to someone with an infertility diagnosis (even if it is "unexplained") that they should try charting. Jzyla's far past that point and so are about 99% of the rest of the posters on this board.  All of us would LOVE to conceive "the natural way"(another offensive phrase, by the way) but the fact of the matter is, that probably won't happen for people who post here. That's why we're here - we are past the point of being able to conceive unassisted and are at the point of seeking help.

 

Anyway, Jzyla,  I wish I could reach through the computer and hug you. We've all had those days (and boyyyy do I understand the awkward family discussions re: IF). I hope you're able to enjoy the new LO without (much) heartache and that the weirdness with your family eases.

PurplePanda2

Hi Jzlya,

 

Sorry you are having a tough IF day.  I know I have personally said similar things to myself like "well if I get pregnant next cycle then there is still a chance I will be pregnant when xyz gives birth" sadly those timelines have come and gone. 

 

I wonder if part of the reason that you aren't very excited about your mom offering to pay for IVF is that you don't really want to get to the point of doing IVF (who does?) so while her offer is very generous, it might make you sad that you will have to endure that treatment.  

Twinkie0612

((hugs)) I'm sorry you're having a rough day, we've all been there.

Jzyla

Wow - thanks so much for your support ladies. I think I've been more of a 'taker' on this board lately and requesting support more than being able to give it. Yet it's still there every time I ask. I really appreciate it. I live in a small area with no support groups and this board is the closest I've got! SO glad to know some ladies who 'get it'. Thanks again!

Cara1024

I don't think you sound ungrateful at all, just honest. No part of IF is easy or uncomplicated to process. And I can see why you'd feel that way regarding your friend. Of course you are happy for her, but it brings up mixed emotions. (((hugs))) for this hard day. 

Akiesha

((hugs)) hang in there, Hope tomorrow is better for you.

Morris811

I am so sorry about your rough day. Hugs to you.

BellaLux

I'm sorry, IF is never easy and your feelings are completely understandable! Whereas we are all grateful that technology/science such as IVF exist, it is still not something anyone would purposely choose. Hope you start to feel better soon!

herecomesthesun

You are not ungrateful and I hear you on the close friends getting married after and getting pg before. I totally have been there many times over now. Hang in there.

jfb29

HUGS!  I hope today is much better for you!  I understand the whole having someone in your family pregnant.  My SIL is also due in about a month - I'm happy for her, but can't help but feel sad at the same time...