Late Term and Child Loss

it's people like her that make stillbirth a taboo topic

hey ladies I think some of you may have seen this on FB if you are in the same groups as me, I am not sure who is and who isn't. Anyway, this woman whom I have known since she was like 5 (I think she's like 26 or something now), posted a status that not only hurt my feelings but really pissed me off. This *** was 41 weeks pregnant with her first baby at the time, we were pregnant together and our babies were dude 6 weeks apart.

 this is what she posted on the 7th:


"Sharing close up photos of your dead infants bruised up face over and over (really once was enough) is getting old. It sucks that such a tragedy struck your family- I really feel for you, but I think its time to show some respect for others by keeping some things on more of a personal, private level. Shocked by this? No more shocked than I am every time I have to see that, and yes I have tried Repeatedly to hide your feed- facebook has failed me again.."

now I can understand being sensitive and nervous about her own pregnancy. I get it. But in some PMs she went on to say that I was disrespecting my daughter and my FB friends by showing pics of her! And that I was trying to shock people into sympathy for myself. I just cannot believe it, I guess I am supposed to go in the corner and cry about Grace by myself for the rest of my life? I told her she has no idea what it's like to lose a baby and I hope she never does. She replied that if she did lose her baby she would NEVER show pics.

I am not a gossipy person but I really would like to know what you loss women think of this!

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Re: it's people like her that make stillbirth a taboo topic

  • Was she being passive aggressive and posting this as a status update about you?  


    Either way, who cares?  She's obviously not your friend, so her opinion shouldn't matter at all.  It takes what it takes to grieve over the loss of a child.  I don't know first hand, but my close friend went through a giving birth to a stillborn 7 years ago, and she still gets emotional when she talks about it.  Your true friends will back you up, the ones that really know and love you.  Stay where it's warm (what I say to my friends) during the rough times, meaning focus on your real friends and family, especially when you are ultra sensitive during the rough times.  You'll get through this. 

  • Ticker warning...


    This is just terrible.  I am so sorry that you had to hear this from anyone.  So many people are so uneducated about pregnancy/infant/child loss.  What she said was entirely out of line.  Over the last year I have had to distance myself from people like her.  Sadly, no matter how much you try to explain, she will probably never understand what you are feeling.  It is natural to want to share your baby with those you are close to, just as natural as someone who has a living baby.  Focus on those who can fully support you in this journey, not those ignorant enough to be so insensitive.  It's a long, hard road, but it gets easier.  T&P for you and your little girl tonight!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


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  • This lady sucks. I'm so sorry you had to see this and that she made you feel this way. Everyone is different but she should had least have compassion and understanding for you. You'd think being on a simili time lone to you, she would feel more connected. I would unfriend her immediately. Don't let this get you down too much, I know that's hard to do. You don't deserve to feel this way at all.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial ticker
    Due with baby boy # 2 in May 2016
    DD #1 born January 2014

  • She's a flipping jerk who doesnt deserve to have any part in your future.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers PGAL and PAL welcomed. Step Mommy to I (16), A(15) and O (12), Mommy to Patricia Catherine, our baby angel.
  • Hugs to you. I would defriend her immediately. People like this don't deserve you in their life. Sorry that you had to see her post and really sorry that she feels the need to express herself that way.
  • She is NOT a friend - especially if she chose to call you out in a FB status but be passive aggressive about it. That's not right, and that's not fair to you. Your child is beautiful and deserves to have her pictures shown, just like everyone's else's children.

    A close friend - and sorority sister - of mine lost her baby in 2007 when her baby was a few days old. She posts pictures of her angel on FB every year [and they're truly angel pics, not pics from the few days that her baby was alive], and I've never seen anyone post anything negative like that towards her. This girl is a jerk. I'm so sorry you have to put up with that.


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  • I am so sorry you had to deal with this. ((HUGS)) She does not sound like a friend at all.
  • I see where she is coming from. Just to ask, what is the point in posting the pics over and over?

    Even my Living lo's I post a pic once...... 

    That aside, defriend her. 

    FB drama is so unnecessary. 


    Proud Mommy to: Boy-1995/Boy-1998/Girl-2003/Boy-2004/Girl-2011/ Fraternal twin girls-2013  

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  • sorry I should have been clear that I did unfriend her immediately! yes she did post this as her status that day. I wasn't trying to repost the same pics, someone made graphics for me with her pics and I wanted to save them in an album. So it probably seemed like I was re posting them. Idk the point is I don't need someone like that in my life regardless of how many times I post the same pic. If posting the same one a million times helps me through my grief that is what I will do, if people don't like it that's their problem. thanks for the support ladies!
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  • Wow. You did the right thing. This woman is an absolute btch. How dare she tell you how to grieve.
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