Single Parents

baby daddy drama longish.

when I first found out i was pregnant in late december, my baby daddy was pretty weird about it. at first he was so excited, then he flipped a week later and wanted to be uninvolved, then later that day he wanted to be semi involved(still not sure what that even means) then a couple days later wanted to be totally involved, then he dropped off the face of the earth.

 I found out later that he was back with his ex wife. But now I get text messages from him once every couple weeks. The most recent ones were yesterday. they started out normal enough, asking how i was, what was new in my life. And when I asked how things were with him, he didnt respond. I'm not surprised by this, this isn't new behavior on his part. 

 I guess I'm just starting to worry that he's going to be a loser dad to our little one. I feel that way because of how he treats me. I'd like to believe in him, but I feel like the only way not to be disappointed in him is to not put any faith in him.

 How do you ladies deal with dad's like this? I'm actually really worried about this in and out mentality of his will affect our child in later years.  


Re: baby daddy drama longish.

  • I wouldn't suggest doing what I am doing, my situation is different. I haven't heard anything from BD since early to midJanuary. Up until yesterday or the day before he decided to call me from his work number. I ignored it. He then called me 4 more times and left no voicemail. And I never responded. He left us for a psycho with a 1yr old. Either they broke up and now he wants to step up and she destroyed his phone or they are still together and he doesn't want her knowing that he's calling me. Which I think is shady. I told his friends that if he wants ANYTHING to do with me that he needs to contact a lawyer. I know he can't afford one and I have no desire to deal with his bullsht.
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  • thanks for the advice. Cause im getting sick of him disappearing, i know he's still back with her, since her and i are friends on facebook, she added me after i announced my pregnancy. I haven't told a lot of people he's the father because i am contemplating leaving him off the birth certificate. 

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  • I would crack on without him hun, if you don't trust him how happy are you going to be with him looking after your child. I'm in a similar situation and have told the father of my baby he will see the baby as much as he wants but it needs to be continuous and as soon as he lets baby down he's done. He's left me in the lurch for half of my pregnancy... Keep things on your terms!! Keep strong! X
  • I say put no faith in him. My BD is a loser, too. I haven't heard from him since the day DS was born, and I'm not expecting anything from him anymore. I had enough of his back-and-forth, manipulating, and bullying throughout my pregnancy. And I left him early in the pregnancy because he wasn't stepping up and making the life changes that he needed to be making.
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  • As PP said, I would just continue on with your own plans and not wait around for him to make up his own mind. I wouldn't assume he's going to come through for you, but I also wouldn't recommend waiting for him to fail either. Just work on taking care of you and the baby, and let him figure out his own business.

    It sounds like he may be a flaky dad, which is very sad, and it's going to be very important that you're the stable one once your baby is born.

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  • thank you for your support. I'm planning on giving my little one the best support I can as a single mother. next month i'll be going back to school to get my degree so I can get a real job. I'm so excited to be a mother and i know in the end the struggles to take care of the little one will be worth it when I get through school :)
  • I am dealing with the same issue. I got pregnant and the man I can't even bring myself to call him a BD was at first supportive and then slowly over a month walked out of life. He texted and told me I wasn't woman enough to keep him and that I was lying about the pregnancy.

    All I can say is this. If you are honest calm and compassionate when your child asks where their dad is they will accept it for the simple truth of the matter, some people are cut out to be daddies and some are not.

    You are innately born with all the strength you need girl! Embrace that and move on. Cut the drama and embrace this life!
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