Pastors Wife Shower Problem — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Pastors Wife Shower Problem

I'm a pastors wife of a large (2000+) congregation. Many people are asking me if anyone is planning a shower. Yes, several smaller ones. And they are asking me for guest lists. I dont want to name people because some will get invited and some people will get left out. I wish they would just post a note in the bulletin that says they are having one lunch and anyone that wants to come can. That way no one will feel pressured into coming as well. Guess I'm not looking for answer I'm just to the point were I dont even want to deal with it! 

Re: Pastors Wife Shower Problem

  • If one (or more) of those smaller planners is from your church circle, why not just suggest that? It is hard when you're well known, but you don't necessarily know everyone well at a personal level. Just explain you don't want to pressure people, and you don't want to leave people out.
  • I think I would make that suggestion. Tell them that you don't want people to feel left out, and it might be a better idea to have a luncheon where any ladies from the church can come. I know that's what they do for the pastors wives and kids at my church.


    Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
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  • If you are the pastor's wife, it would definitely be best for the baby shower to be open to everyone.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I think that it would be best to have a church-wide one as pp have stated...because it would just be good politics.  For close friends/family, obviously you can have a separate one...but you def want one where anyone who wants to be included can participate. Good luck. :)
  • The church member in me says it should be open to everyone.

    The hostess in me cringes at trying to get an accurate number of guests for food preparation. 

    DS1 - 9; DS2 - 6; Angel - May 10, 2011; Baby Girl - Due May 19, 2013
  • I agree with the others. Having a church-wide baby shower that is open to everyone is the best way to avoid hurt feelings. If you have close friends that want to throw you a separate shower, then that is fine.

    But to be fair, I would make at least one available to the entire congregation.

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