Returning to Work after baby is born. — The Bump
June 2013 Moms

Returning to Work after baby is born.

How many moms plan on returning back to work full-time after 6-12 weeks maternity leave?  My boss just approached me this morning and told me I'm going to be stressed out trying to juggle a newborn and a 40 hour work schedule and gave me "they're only young once speech".  Way to make me feel like a career crazy mom! lol   I just don't think my husband and I can financially afford for me to work part-time.  

 

Thoughts?  

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Re: Returning to Work after baby is born.

  • Not exactly a full-time worker but I will be going back to school full-time (15 hours) plus working part-time at the college. It is totally up to what you are comfortable with and if you don't think you can afford to work part-time, then that is that. Don't let anyone make you feel like a career crazy mom.
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  • It would be nice to get paid the same and work less hours! lol Unfortunately I have three bosses.  The one that approached me this morning is the most understanding.  Hopefully he can persuade the rest of the group to be nice haha
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  • I'm headed back full time after 8 weeks. Honestly, I will probably be a better Mom for working. The time I will give to LO will be so valuable to me. Besides, we can't afford to have only one of us working.

    Grrrr to your boss for making you feel guilty for what you need to do! 

  • Your boss sucks. For real. That is really inappropriate - his only concern should be if you are doing your job as you should be and otherwise he can MHOB. Jerk. 

    To answer your question, I am going back to work full-time after 6-8 weeks.  






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  • Like PP said I would probably report that to HR.  That seems really inappropriate.

     I will be returning to work full-time after 12 weeks of leave.

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  • I, too am shocked that your boss would say something like that.  Seems inappropriate.

    I plan on returning to work full time 8-10 weeks after the baby is born.   

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  • I will be returning to work. i'm still not sure how much time off I will have since I am not covered by FMLA :(. I'm hoping for 12 wks, but I'm thinking itll be around 8. I wish we could afford for me to SAH...but not possible. Maybe when we buy a house when the mortgage is less than rent.

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  • I am going back to work after 10-12 weeks.  I plan on working reduced hours though (from 8:30-4:30 to 9-3).

     

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  • Where I live, we are VERY fortunate and we get one year maternity leaves....so I won't be going back to work for a full year. Then after that year I will be back to my normal full time schedule.
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  • What a creep! And completely unappropriate. Don't feel guilty for wanting or needing to work full time to provide for your family. Grr!

    But, I will take 6-8 weeks maternity leave and then we have an Infant at Work program and the baby will come to work with me until she is 6 months old.


  • I know how it sounds but I don't think he meant it to be offensive. I think he was trying to let me know I have other options available if I wanted to use them.  My office is small and I think I am the first girl to have a baby since they started the firm lol 
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  • I don't know what I am going to do.  I work full time but barely make over min. wage.  The least expensive at home daycare I found was more than half of my income.  We don't have much extra money now with two of us working so I can't be a SAHM.  I think my only opition is to get a night job (hopefully only part time) so we don't have to pay for daycare.
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  • That's not fair of your boss to lecture to you on that subject. Now, that said, if you and your boss have "that" kind of relationship it's a little different. I'm very close with my bosses (company of 4 people), but not everyone has that kind of work relationship.

    I will be returning to working full time after 8 weeks off, however half of the time will be working at home. My husband also works at home, so we'll be trading off on the at home schedule. We could not afford for me to work part time, or to take more than 8 weeks off. I'm only going to be paid for 6 weeks of my leave, any time after that will be unpaid.

    You do what you need to do to keep your family stable, emotionally and financially. And ignore anyone else who tells you you're making the wrong choice. Most likely they're jealous or envious, and trying to make themselves feel better about a situation they once had.


  • I will be be back FT at 6 or 8 weeks depending on how I deliver. I was back at 6 weeks FT with my first too. Its difficult, but can be done. The key is having reliable childcare that you trust implicitly and a back up plan for the days LO is sick and can't go to DC or if your nanny/provider is sick or needs a day off. I/m not going to lie, when you first go back, its like your heart is being ripped out but it really does get easier pretty quickly. I need to work and I like to work. I'm not SAHM material, but I do wish I had more time with my son. The key is organization and having QUALITY time with your LO when you can.

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  • imageMegStory17:

    I, too am shocked that your boss would say something like that.  Seems inappropriate.

    I plan on returning to work full time 8-10 weeks after the baby is born.   

    This!  On both counts!


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  • imagenewmommy61713:
    I know how it sounds but I don't think he meant it to be offensive. I think he was trying to let me know I have other options available if I wanted to use them.  My office is small and I think I am the first girl to have a baby since they started the firm lol 

    I understand because I also work for a smaller business.  Unfortunately, not all companies have an HR department and if there are under 50 employees, laws are completely different.  (i am the HR department at my job LOL). I do not get paid maternity leave and FMLA does not apply to me.  We plan on me being a SAHM but right now that is not an option, but that could change before the baby comes. If I do go back to work it will be after 6 weeks, but I am going to approach my boss about possibly working from home 3-4 days a week.

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  • I'll be going back.  I'm the breadwinner, so I don't really have a choice.  I'm not happy about it, so I can only imagine how shitty I would feel if someone tried to make me feel bad about it!
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  • I plan to. But it sounds like your boss is hinting at something.
  • I think you should do what is best for you and your family.  I will be returning to work after six weeks unless I add an extra week of my own personal leave I will have to see when the time comes.

  • imageMellyB33:

    I think you should do what is best for you and your family.  I will be returning to work after six weeks unless I add an extra week of my own personal leave I will have to see when the time comes.

     Meant to say returning to work FT.

  • I love when people say sh*t like that (sarcastic).  It must be nice to have that much money to be able to stay home, unfortunately most of us can't.  What a prick!
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  • Highly inappropriate actions by your boss!

    I work for a small company, FMLA does not apply, I do not get paid maternity leave. I will be back full time at 8 weeks.

    I am the bread winner in the house at least until the baby will be a year and DH has finished his residency program. I am proud of the fact that I will be able to support us and raise my child. All other working moms should feel the same! 

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  • Initially I planned to come back 40 hours per week, but I've decided to go part-time. We'll see how this works out after the baby is born though! I may want to go full-time....

    Also, in reading your message I don't agree with other posters who said that your boss was inappropriate. It sounds to me like he sincerely cares about your well-being and wants what is best for you. But maybe this is because I also work for a small company and my bosses are like that too - almost like family. I would just tell him that you wish you could, but unfortunately financially you can't right now. I'm sure he was just letting you know it's okay with him if you want to go part-time.

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  • It sounds like your boss is just letting you know ahead of time that there are options which I think is great. You won't know how hard/easy it'll be until the time comes. I can't afford to nor does my job allow for me to work PT, but my boss did give me the option to work 4 10s. He also does his best to offer flexibility like working from home if my kid is sick. That being said, I'll be going back to a normal 5 day schedule after 12 weeks of leave. It's nice to know I do have some flexibility if I need it. I do know some ladies in other departments who work 32 hours a week. They still qualify for benefits but get to leave early every day to be with their kids when they get home from school.

     

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  • I actually think your boss is being quite considerate.  I work for a very sizeable company and they recommend that mom's return mid-week (for an easier transition) and consider a reduced schedule initially.  I'll be returning to work after three months and usually work 60 hours a week.  I'm really hope to find a great nanny and to work from home more.  ...or if my husband is still unemployed, he'll be taking care of our little girl.

  • I'll go back to work after 8 - 9 weeks.  I'm using the vacation I saved up rather than going on unpaid maternity.  I work from home 3-4 days a week so going back won't be so bad.  My fiance is self-employed so he'll work from home/take care of LO because we can't afford daycare.  Fingers crossed his business takes off soon otherwise he will have to get a job working for someone else at which time we'll have to figure out what to do about childcare.

    In general, I agree with the pp's who mentioned that was your boss said was not appropriate.  I have a pretty close relationship with my boss, and I've made it very clear I am coming back after maternity leave, but he's mentioned he has his doubts about that, which does bother me a bit.  I'm the soul source of income at this time so I have no choice but to go back after the baby, which I've told him, but he seems to believe I'll figure out a way to make money out of dirty diapers or something and not come back to work.  Frustrating.

    Beyond that, I'm interested in having a career in addition to having kids.  One way or the other, I'd be a working mom.  It'd be nice if I wasn't the soul source of income so part time work could be an option while the baby is really little.  But it is what is.

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  • Wow, I can't believe your boss said that.  Most of the women I work with are working moms and they all make it work.  Way to make an assumption about your life.

    As for me, I haven't hammered out the details yet with HR but I have a ton of paid time off accrued so I'm hoping to take six months off.

  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a working mom.  My mom worked and my brother and I are fine.  We got plenty of quality time with her and it really didn't matter that much when we went to school.  I will be out about 6 weeks.  After that, I have to go back to work because we can't afford for me to be out of a job.  Other than that, I am not SAHM material at all!  I nannied my BIL, who is four now, for two years.  I thought I was going to go insane.  Don't get me wrong, I love my BIL and I already love DD, but I need adults to talk to that don't just talk about their kids.  I need to have work to do other than cleaning.  I give props to SAHMs everywhere!

     Your boss should not have taken that approach, well intentioned or not!  It is up to you and your DH what you do after your baby is born!

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  • Heading back to work after 8 weeks. Being a full time SAHM is just not an option for us financially right now.
  • I'm going back to work full time.  Sure, ideally I would love to be able to do some type of part-time schedule, but I also want to still be able to contribute to baby's college fund comfortably, take vacations, do home improvements/etc and we wouldn't be able to do those things if I didn't go back to work.  If we get to move back to IN like we hope in a few more years, it might be a possiblity, but for now this is our reality. 

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  • imagesmithm24:
    Not exactly a full-time worker but I will be going back to school full-time (15 hours) plus working part-time at the college. It is totally up to what you are comfortable with and if you don't think you can afford to work part-time, then that is that. Don't let anyone make you feel like a career crazy mom.

    Also, I have to agree with this.  I think your boss was out of line.  It seems like maybe his intentions were coming from a good place, but it is your decision to make and he shouldn't make you feel guilty about it.

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  • We haven't quite decided yet.  We are lucky enough to be able to afford at least a reduced salary for me, but my job is in a technical field and its pretty rare to see part time positions or workers.  Since I've been at my company for 10 years, I'm hoping to come back after 12 weeks on a reduced schedule, at least at first.
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  • I am returning to work full time after 12 weeks of leave. How awful of your boss to say that to you.
  • I plan to return full time but I think we could afford for me to work less so I plan to look after I return to work for something with less hours and using my degree.
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  • Yes. Lots of women do this. It seems inappropriate of your boss to be saying those kinds of things to you.

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  • I'm looking at about 8 weeks. For a normal vaginal delivery I'll get 6 weeks of short term disability and I'll have about two weeks of sick and vacation time. I'll probably try and work 4 ten hour days and stay home at least one day a week. One of the joys of being salary and a flexible boss.

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  • I'm a PhD student. Our classes start back up in late September, so our baby will be almost 4 months old.  I feel really blessed to have that schedule.  We'll start at day care in early September (although the Jewish holidays will make it kind of irregular for a while since we're at a JCC day care).  I'm glad we'll be able to start daycare while I'm not a home, so we can try a few hours at a time at first.
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  • imageSouthSideDrea:

    Holy crap that's really inappropriate. I'd document and maybe report that to HR, and here's why. Lots and lots of people have kids and keep working. It's hard but it's doable and I like working and being a mom. However, working for someone like that could have some consequences dpwn the road. Maybe your boss's attitude about working moms will one day influence your performance reviews or your career in the future. If you have a documented history of this being your bosses issue and not yours you ahve a better shot at fighting that.

    Your boss should in no way be lecturing you or assuming you will be stressed out working 40 hours a week. And they absolutely shouldn't be setting you up to fail by planting the seed that your performance will eb adversely affected by a baby you ahven't had yet.

    I'm really, really hot for you right now.

    Totally this, but I'm only hot for you in the context of being upset, I'm not sure which way Drea was going with that Stick out tongue.

    If my manager said that I would take it as they are trying to convince me not to come back which would make me think twice about whether they found me/my position valuable. My manager has asked me with worry if I am coming back, and I assure her that I am. I would feel icky about the comments your manager made.

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  • I went back 40 hours a week when DS was 12 weeks old.  I plan to do it again with DD.
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  • A. That was a very inappropriate comment from your boss. B. I plan on taking Memorial Day-Labor Day off. I don't have any paid time off as I work mostly contracts. We're doing our best to save so we won't be so shocked this summer. After that, I'm going back full time. As much as I'd love to stay home longer, I make more than my husband and taking that much time off will be hard enough.
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