1st Trimester

Positive tests and brand new worries

My DH and I found out we're expecting about 5 days ago. We had been trying for about 5 months or so, and are SO excited! He came home from work the other day and told me a sad story about a coworker of his who was also expecting, and found out that his wife lost the baby early on. Now, suddenly everytime I log onto the bump I'm noticing more and more posts about losing baby. I feel terrible for these women, and my fears of being one of them is suddenly taking over my life. Is it normal to be afraid of that so early on? And is there anything I can do to help make sure that doesn't happen to us? I know I am being paranoid, but I think this has quickly become my biggest fear!

Best of wishes and condolences to people who are or have experienced this. You ladies are so strong!

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Re: Positive tests and brand new worries

  • I knew being pregnant was going to bring worries, but wow do I also feel paranoid.  Hopeful to get past the riskiest period...

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  • There is nothing you can do to prevent miscarriage. Focus on what you can control. Eat well and try not to let stress take over your life. Today you are pregnant and love your baby.


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  • That's the double edged sword that is the internet.  You've got the world at your fingertips, and that includes horror stories.  Try your best to stay calm and positive for you, your partner and your new growing LO.  Congrats on your positive, and stay away from the scary stories.  It's also painful for some those posting their grief on (albeit public) online forums to think there are a lot of lurkers and rubber-neckers. 

    You'll have some days of high anxiety and some days where you feel totally fine and trust your body to do its job.  On those high anxiety days, avoid the internet and googling every negative symptom and signs of miscarriage.  best of luck!

  • imageLEStoler:

    My DH and I found out we're expecting about 5 days ago. We had been trying for about 5 months or so, and are SO excited! He came home from work the other day and told me a sad story about a coworker of his who was also expecting, and found out that his wife lost the baby early on. Now, suddenly everytime I log onto the bump I'm noticing more and more posts about losing baby. I feel terrible for these women, and my fears of being one of them is suddenly taking over my life. Is it normal to be afraid of that so early on? And is there anything I can do to help make sure that doesn't happen to us? I know I am being paranoid, but I think this has quickly become my biggest fear!

    Best of wishes and condolences to people who are or have experienced this. You ladies are so strong!

     

    The fear is understandable. There is really not much you can do at this point other than following the regular no-nos and taking your prenatals. Also, if this fear is overtaking your life maybe read the miscarriage posts in moderation or stay away from them for few days. It doesn't mean you are cold hearted and I am sure your heart goes out to every girl here that is experiencing mc but you need to try and stress less for the sake of the baby and yourself. So maybe read the happy posts, the updates where everything turns out fine and hopefully the fear will become manageble or even subside a little.

     

    Besides you have like a 75% chance of everything going well Its pretty good odds you know... 

  • While DH and I were beyond excited when we got our first BFP I wish we would have waited to share our news bc just three short weeks later we lost our LO. I took little comfort in knowing that one in four pregnancies would end and 75% of them in the first trimester, but thats what everyone offered. Its a scary reality and now that we have our (unexpected, but welcome) BFP we are keeping it hush until we have entered the second trimester. I've never been so scared in my life, but I have to know that I have NO control over the outcome.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

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  • image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    While DH and I were beyond excited when we got our first BFP I wish we would have waited to share our news bc just three short weeks later we lost our LO. I took little comfort in knowing that one in four pregnancies would end and 75% of them in the first trimester, but thats what everyone offered. Its a scary reality and now that we have our (unexpected, but welcome) BFP we are keeping it hush until we have entered the second trimester. I've never been so scared in my life, but I have to know that I have NO control over the outcome.

    I agree with most of this, but have to point out that more like 99.5% of miscarriages happen in the first trimester, not 75%.  Here are some statistics: 

    https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/miscarriage-general

    Once you are in your second trimester, you can relax greatly.  

    OP - all you can do is take healthy precautions and take care of yourself.  The rest is out of your hands so try not to worry. 

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    Married 12/8/07 | Sleeve Gastrectomy 10/19/09
    BFP#1 DD born 3/9/11 | BFP#4 DD born 9/20/13
    BFP#2 6/21/12, M/C at 5w2d | BFP#3 11/27/12, M/C at 6w6d
  • imageNukke:

    That's the double edged sword that is the internet.  You've got the world at your fingertips, and that includes horror stories.  Try your best to stay calm and positive for you, your partner and your new growing LO.  Congrats on your positive, and stay away from the scary stories.  It's also painful for some those posting their grief on (albeit public) online forums to think there are a lot of lurkers and rubber-neckers. 

    You'll have some days of high anxiety and some days where you feel totally fine and trust your body to do its job.  On those high anxiety days, avoid the internet and googling every negative symptom and signs of miscarriage.  best of luck!

     Perfectly said:)

     Wishing you a happy & healthy 9months:)

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  • These posts are so lame.
  • Thanks everyone! Your support has been fantastic. :)
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  • I know exactly how you feel. When I first found out I was 4 weeks and I wasn't scheduled to have my 1st ultrasound until I was 8 weeks so I had 4 weeks to stew in worry. My doctor told me in my very first appointment to stay offline because of all the horror stories and mis-information out there so I did just that. I stopped going on forums and reading all the horror stories and just focused on being healthy. If you MC it is for a reason and something wasn't right. It's hard to hear the statistics about how common MC is but you also have to realize yes 25% of pregnancies end in MC but that means 75% end in a healthy baby so those odds are WAY better. I just kept telling myself and once I had my first appointment and saw the heartbeat the risk of MC went down to about 5% so I am happy that I stopped worrying and just enjoyed being pregnant. It will all work out :) Good luck!
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