Advice about Announcing

Miracle2001

I will be 12 weeks this Saturday.

My DH and I suffered a miscarriage with our first (last year) at 61/2 weeks. This time I have heard the heartbeat once (at 10 weeks) and seen and heard the heartbeat twice (at 7 and 8 weeks).

We plan on waiting to announce when we reach 14 weeks. But my next appointment isn't until 15 weeks. Do you think at week 13 I should see if I can see a nurse about listening for the baby's heartbeat on a doppler before we announce? Or do you think a missed miscarriage would be rare at this point?? I would hate to announce and then the next week have to retract...such a horrible feeling. Last time we told a few people too many and then had to "un-tell" them.

526SadieSadie

I'm terribly sorry about your loss, I hope you are cradling a beautiful, healthy newborn in 28-30 weeks

The odds of a miscarriage go down dramatically at this point, since 13.3 weeks is the end of the first trimester. 

When the 14 week point comes, you can see what feels right.  Maybe just tell close family members/friends who would be there to support you if something goes wrong and wait to shout it from the rooftops.

When I started posting on the 2nd tri board, I don't remember anyone posting about a loss - it's less likely to happen.

sunkissed7804

Sorry about your loss, hon.  I know those tend to stick with you.

I can't see why your doctors office would turn you down for a simple little listen.  In fact, I bet they would be happy to do it for you!

 Ask!! 

1026pumpkin

I'm so sorry about your loss.  I know my doc said that the risk of miscarriage is about 1.5% after hearing a heart beat at 8 weeks, and drops to .5% after 12 weeks, and doesn't drop significantly after that, so from a statistical standpoint, your risk won't get lower after 12 weeks.

If it makes you feel more comfortable, maybe order one of those home dopplers you can use (I think you can start to hear it regularly around 12-14 weeks) and you can check for yourself at home if you need reassurance.  I know some people don't like them, because if they have a hard time finding the heartbeat, they get nervous, but just something to think about. 

Miracle2001

Thanks all for your reply. I think I will call and just see what they say. Or maybe I am just being a worry wart today and will feel better by week 14!

CDMay2006

I'm sorry for your loss.  I bet you'd be able to check in.  Even if you don't, though, your pregnancy is already a lot more likely to be successful (statistically) this time, especially once you pass the 12-wk mark.  Your loss was still during the "riskiest" time period, when miscarriage is most likely.  You are well past that now!

Also, having not been there, this is just speculation, but I'd think that even if it meant un-telling a few people, you'd really want support this time around, given how far you are into the pregnancy.  Maybe start small, just with parents and close friends (or whoever you'd need support from), then see what you are comfortable with.  And as far as a big public announcement, maybe it would be more comfortable for you to let people notice on their own as your pregnancy progresses (or as you become comfortable telling them).  Good luck! 

SaraSKC

I also had a miscarriage at about 6 weeks in my first pregnancy. I saw my baby's heartbeat at 7 1/2 weeks this pregnancy and asked my CNM when it would be safe to go public with our news. She wanted me back in 3 weeks to confirm dating and said she would probably say to go ahead after that.