Can you stand another intro?

Guennie

Hello everyone, I have been to this message board a few times and finally decided to introduce myself.  I am about to turn 40 this month and I have lost 3 pregnancies in the past year and a half.  My doctor ran some tests and found out I have the MTHFR mutation, heterozygous for each mutation.  It's really confusing because there is so much controversy as to whether this mutation really does interfere with pregnancy.

My husband won't talk to me about trying again, he simply says if it happens it happens.  So I feel very alone in this.  I very much want to be a mother and have a family.  This has always been my dream.  And I feel now like I'm running out of time.

I've been trying for the past couple of months to figure out when I ovulate but it's pretty hard to pinpoint, and getting my husband in the mood at the right time is so hit or miss these days.  He's making me feel like sex has become a chore.  I think deep down he is afraid we will go through the same thing all over again if I get pregnant, so part of him doesn't want it to happen.

I haven't been using a basal thermometer but I have been taking my temperature every morning with a regular one and there is definitely a pattern.  I seem to stay at 97.9 after my period with a few random drops or highs here or there, and then it goes up to 98.1 and stays there until the drop when my period starts.  There are some random days when I may go up to 98.4 but the norm seems to be 98.1.  I have tried to track my cm but it isn't really lining up with my temps, so I am really not sure when I am actually ovulating.

I am trying to have faith that this will happen for me when it's supposed to...I'm agnostic so I don't necessarily pray, but I do kind of in my own way.  I started drinking Fertili Tea a couple of weeks ago hoping it might help.  I take extra folate every day for the gene mutation and I'm taking a really good prenatal.  I think I may have just ovulated since my temp went up to 98.1 yesterday and it's still there today, so I guess I am once again in the 2ww.  Torture.

Anyway, you all seem like a nice group of women and I could use some support right now, so here I am.  My name is Guen.

 

 

 

ksgsmu

welcome and good luck! I am so sorry for your losses...

If you really want to pointpoint your O, I would HIGHLY suggest you buy the right basal thermometer ( they are super cheap and can get at almost any grocery store) then go to fertilityfriend.com and take the free tutorial.  If you don't want to do that then invest in the clear blue digit fertility monitor.

PPL2011

Hi! I'm very sorry for your losses. Ask your doctor about Metanx or Folgard for MTHFR. Regular folic acid isn't enough. I have one copy of mthfr and also pai-1. Were you tested for all the thrombophilias? I take Metanx and baby aspirin every day for these mutations. Also, you'll want to buy the Clear Blue digital ovulation predictor tests or the clear blue digital fertility monitor. They will detect your LH Surge so that you can time intercourse. I've never done temping, so I can't speak of that.

After my two miscarriages, my doctor told us, that because I was 39 and 40, I just make more abnormal embryos and the pregnancies aren't viable. Is it possible to have a healthy baby at 40? Of course! But, it's much more difficult to get there for most of us. We are going through IVF with PGS testing of the embryos prior to transfer in order to get much closer to a positive outcome. Obviously, we have no guarantees with IVF, so I am praying for a miracle. I am not suggesting you do IVF, I'm just sharing my experience.

I'm sorry you and your husband don't seem to be on the same page. My husband and I went through a rough fertility patch for a while. But after lots of conversations and shared feelings we are in a much better place. I know how hard that can be and how stressful it is to the marriage. I think that's always the first step in trying to conceive. Good luck!

HeathernSteven

I am very sorry for your losses, and welcome to the group, basal therm are rather inexpensive as pp said, target, walmart etc should all have them, the fine degree difference does matter.

Make sur eyou are drinking lots of water to help with cm, as for tea, as with all herbals they are not quick like a drug, they need to be taken for awhile for any results.

best of luck to you!

Llamamama

Welcome!  So sorry for your losses.    I agree with the other posts regarding getting a basal thermometer.  It is amazing what you can find out when you track your temp.  And definitely go to Fertility Friend to set up your free account.  I also recommend the Clear Blue Easy Digital Ovulation prediction kit.  Seeing the on the screen is so much easier to interpret than the test strips.  Between taking your temps and using the tests you should be able to see EXACTLY when you ovulate.  Knowing when to bd will help you decide when to put in the full effort to get dh in the mood.  Good Luck!

Alicialgb

PPL2011:

Hi! I'm very sorry for your losses. Ask your doctor about Metanx or Folgard for MTHFR. Regular folic acid isn't enough. I have one copy of mthfr and also pai-1. Were you tested for all the thrombophilias? I take Metanx and baby aspirin every day for these mutations. Also, you'll want to buy the Clear Blue digital ovulation predictor tests or the clear blue digital fertility monitor. They will detect your LH Surge so that you can time intercourse. I've never done temping, so I can't speak of that.

After my two miscarriages, my doctor told us, that because I was 39 and 40, I just make more abnormal embryos and the pregnancies aren't viable. Is it possible to have a healthy baby at 40? Of course! But, it's much more difficult to get there for most of us. We are going through IVF with PGS testing of the embryos prior to transfer in order to get much closer to a positive outcome. Obviously, we have no guarantees with IVF, so I am praying for a miracle. I am not suggesting you do IVF, I'm just sharing my experience.

I'm sorry you and your husband don't seem to be on the same page. My husband and I went through a rough fertility patch for a while. But after lots of conversations and shared feelings we are in a much better place. I know how hard that can be and how stressful it is to the marriage. I think that's always the first step in trying to conceive. Good luck!

This.  Welcome to the board, I wish you the best of luck!

BeckyP005

Welcome to the board and I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Hoping that you and YH are able to get on the same page soon. It took MH awhile also and it ws a stressful time at our house during those talks. Best of luck and hang in there!

Qzees

Welcome to the board.  I am very sorry about your losses.  I too had a rough patch with DH - he too felt like it turned into a chore & it made it very difficult for him to enjoy himself and finish the deed (if you know what I mean).  We started down the RE path and after he met the RE he did a total 180.  Let me back up and tell you that he was totally against any kind of interference - meaning if it doesn't happen the "natural" way he was not on board.  After our Dr appt, he really saw how much I wanted to have a baby and did a complete 180.  He even talked about petrie dishes & picking the sex LOL.  Just hang in there, try to make BDg more romantic.  I started enjoying morning sex, just set your alarm a little bit earlier - I have read that men have more testosterone in their systems in the am.  Plus, most men are already ready in the am - so a lot less work LOL

I agree, get a BBT - they will really help interpret when you ovulate.  I did not invest in the fancy ovulation kit, instead I got the Wondfo's that you can buy off Amazon.  They are cheap, but they definitely are harder to interpret.  Had I known better, I may have gone the expensive way.  

Wishing you lots of luck & hope your stay is short.

Guennie

The tests my dr ran were Lupus Anticoagulant, Anticardiolipin AB Panel, MTHFR DNA Analysis, ANA, and Homocysteine.  Everything was normal except for the MTHFR.  I have one copy of the C677T mutation and one copy of the A1298C mutation.  My dr seemed to think taking twice the normal dose of folic acid was all I needed to do.  In my own research I learned that naturopathic docs are saying to take the active form of folate rather than synthetic folic acid, so that is why I have been taking Ultra Folate (5-MTHF).  I have wondered about taking baby aspirin but my dr hasn't said anything.  (btw, is low dose aspirin the same thing as baby aspirin?  I looked the other day and didn't see anything that said baby aspirin.)  My dr did say if I got pregnant again he would have me give myself daily injections to thin my blood.  I think since my homocysteine level was normal he doesn't think we need to do anything yet.  It's all very scary for me because I don't know what to think and I worry if I'm not doing the right thing I will just keep losing pregnancies.  It's definitely stressful, and the lack of support from my husband does make it worse.

I am sorry for your losses as well and I wish you all the best!! 

Guennie

I did run out today and buy a basal thermometer from Walmart, so we'll see how that goes.  I found a great app for my phone called Kindara where I can track everything from my temps to my cm, it's a great app and I think it will help me keep track easily without my husband having to get stressed by seeing all my stuff.

And oh my gosh, I drink so much water!  It's pretty much all I drink since I gave up coffee.  I used to drink two cups of coffee every morning and although I made my coffee very weak I decided anything that may help I will do, so I gave it up.  Now I am drinking this Fertili Tea instead of coffee...not the same!  Haha.  I miss my coffee.  But it's worth it.  I drink water all day long though and often wake up in the night thirsty so I keep a glass right by my bed.  Of course this makes me pee a lot but what can you do?  I usually have a lot of cm, especially certain times of the month, but last month and this month I only noticed ewcm one day so I'm not sure if that means I'm not producing much of it or it's just staying up on the cervix.

I am a little nervous about drinking this tea.  I have noticed some light cramping and mild breast pain off and on.  Most of the reviews of this tea are positive but I read a couple people saying you shouldn't drink it unless you have abnormal cycles because it may mess with your cycle in a bad way.  My mom, who sent it to me and is a nurse and really into homeopathic stuff, seems to think it's fine.  She thinks I'm feeling things because my hormones are being stimulated and that's a good thing.  I don't know.  ?

 

 

Guennie

Qzees- I'm so happy that your husband came around!  We already have sex in the morning sometimes, but it's been awhile since my husband woke up in the mood.  I feel like I am the one who has to initiate sex all the time now.  I do try to be romantic but it doesn't seem to matter.  I think he is very conflicted and I think he is feeling pressure.  I try to do a little something just for him once in awhile (if you know what I mean) after I think I have already ovulated.  That way he doesn't feel "used" if that makes sense.  But my husband is the kind of guy who is not a good communicator and likes to stick his head in the sand and ignore his problems, so he would rather pretend none of this exists, and that actually makes it more stressful for both of us because we can't talk about it.  If I even mentioned going to an RE he would freak out.  And forget him being tested for anything.  He won't do it.  He just wants to believe whatever is supposed to happen will happen.  He will not be proactive with me at all.  So it's all up to me, and that is very lonely and stressful.

PPL2011

Guennie:

The tests my dr ran were Lupus Anticoagulant, Anticardiolipin AB Panel, MTHFR DNA Analysis, ANA, and Homocysteine.  Everything was normal except for the MTHFR.  I have one copy of the C677T mutation and one copy of the A1298C mutation.  My dr seemed to think taking twice the normal dose of folic acid was all I needed to do.  In my own research I learned that naturopathic docs are saying to take the active form of folate rather than synthetic folic acid, so that is why I have been taking Ultra Folate (5-MTHF).  I have wondered about taking baby aspirin but my dr hasn't said anything.  (btw, is low dose aspirin the same thing as baby aspirin?  I looked the other day and didn't see anything that said baby aspirin.)  My dr did say if I got pregnant again he would have me give myself daily injections to thin my blood.  I think since my homocysteine level was normal he doesn't think we need to do anything yet.  It's all very scary for me because I don't know what to think and I worry if I'm not doing the right thing I will just keep losing pregnancies.  It's definitely stressful, and the lack of support from my husband does make it worse.

I am sorry for your losses as well and I wish you all the best!! 

Baby Asprin/Low Dose Aspirin is 81mg.  Sounds like he will put you on lovenox (blood thinner) when you get pg. Since I have one mutation they are on the fence about the lovenox. That all makes sense and seems that your tests were comprehensive. I'm not familiar with Ultra Folate, but it sounds like it's the folic acid that's bio-available. I'd just ask about Metanx and the low dose aspirin. If you like your doctor, trust him/her and maybe pick up the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. That book really helped me. 

lrosy13

Sorry to hear about your losses. Welcome and Good Luck.

Jacque Sills

Sorry to hear about your losses.  I know it is tuff.  It appears that you are on the right track to figuring out your fertility window.  I would recommend that you check out a book called, 'Getting to know your fertility,' at the library in addition to the other helpful tools the other ladies told you about.  I think the author's last name is Welscher?  Not sure.... It is kinda like the bible for fertility stuff.  It really helps in understanding your body's primary signs like the different cervical mucus' and what they mean.  For instance, if it is dry, no go, but the egg white means you are about or are ovulating, so between the tempting, which when it rises, you will know you ovulated, your cervical mucus and the OPK tests, you will really be able to pinpoint the window, which is around 6 days, but focus on the two days before and the day of ovulation and that will be the best times for you to have a chance of getting pregnant.  The book will provide you all the tools needed in getting pregnant.

In regards to your husband, I am sorry to hear that he is not more understanding with you.  Hopefully, with much tenderness and consideration you both can get on the same page with having a family and it will all work out.  I do understand how hard that can be, it took my husband and I almost 4 years to finally get on the same page to see a RE.  Just have faith and keep reaching out to him and I am sure soon he will come around. 

Best of Luck and welcome to the group!