husband time off after baby arrives

sciteacher23

My husband and I are both teachers and I'm due June 9th. That is 4 days before my last day of school and 2 before his last day. In the event that I go early, I will be using my saved sick and personal days and whatever is left over will be unpaid. I don't qualify for FMLA, this is my first year at the position. Last night my husband and I were talking about how long he would stay home from work after the baby is born. He works construction in the summer, self employed. I was thinking 5 days, and he was thinking more like 2.

We both agreed that every baby is different and every situation is different. I don't want him taking off and not getting paid, but I was hoping he would be willing to use his sick days and personal days that are left over (he'll get new ones next year). As far as having the baby after school goes, he is self employed in the summer so he doesn't NEED to work and has total control over his schedule.

 My mom lives 5 mins away and will be helping out with laundry, cooking and cleaning. Same with my MIL.

I wouldn't be asking him to stay home if we were losing money...obviously we need the money and his job!

How long did your SO stay home with you and the baby?

RileighsMom1224

My husband gets 5 days off paternity leave.  Sorry your hubby doesnt get any time off paid, teachers are over worked and under paid!  It is good that your mom is close by to help you two out!

dtowngirl

I had a coworker who said he was only taking 2 days off and he ended up staying home for the week. Your husband may change his mind when the baby comes.

BLT20051

I just complained about this in the 10 things thread. DH will probably have to use most of his vacation and sick time for his various military training things so he may not stay home more than a day.

sciteacher23

RileighsMom1224:

My husband gets 5 days off paternity leave.  Sorry your hubby doesnt get any time off paid, teachers are over worked and under paid!  It is good that your mom is close by to help you two out!

I think my husband might get FMLA. Thanks for the support, I love my job and I think all the red tape is worth it. A lot of people think we are overpaid actually!

sciteacher23

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:

I just complained about this in the 10 things thread. DH will probably have to use most of his vacation and sick time for his various military training things so he may not stay home more than a day.

 UGH That sucks! Thanks to both of you for serving our country.

sciteacher23

BrassyClarinet:

I'm also a teacher in a first year position!

I'm trying to save my sick and personal leave, but I had to go home today because I feel like poop.   Worst comes worst, we have a sick leave bank that I can draw from, regardless I will probably take the whole month of June off.  

(How do you not have FMLA just because you're a first year teacher? That seems odd.)

Hubby gets two weeks paternity paid, we're trying to figure out when we want him to use them. 

 Good luck!

I don't get FMLA because you have to have worked in the position for 12 months. I just started in Aug, so I don't qualify.

tiffletons518

Just like with our other 2, my husband will be using a week of vacation time. With my first, I only got a couple days with him, as I went into labor on Monday, but didn't have her till Wednesday, so we didn't get home until Thursday night. He spent most of his vacation in the hospital with me. I had DD2 on a Saturday, so he had the weekend off, as usual, then all of the next week off. My due date is a Friday and in a perfect world, I'll have him at the end of the week or on the weekend again.

sciteacher23

dtowngirl:

I had a coworker who said he was only taking 2 days off and he ended up staying home for the week. Your husband may change his mind when the baby comes.

That would be a nice surprise. DH loves kids and is so excited, I can see him staying home longer. He is easily convinced and will most likely want to try out the baby carrier we registered for lol

BLT20051

sciteacher23:

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:

I just complained about this in the 10 things thread. DH will probably have to use most of his vacation and sick time for his various military training things so he may not stay home more than a day.

 UGH That sucks! Thanks to both of you for serving our country.

Thanks. It really isn't that bad because we work in salary positions with a laid back boss. So in reality he'll be able to work long days in order to take others off or maybe even work from home so I can't complain too much. And, I don't have any military training this year(since I'm pregnant) so at least we're not passing one another when our schedules are opposite.

flerlgirl

DH gets no vacation time at work at all. They do a weird thing where the whole company shuts down for a week in July and a week in December so those are the vacation days you get. He will be there when the baby is born and then for maybe one or two days after that. But he doesn't get paid for any of that time so he can't really miss toooo many days. 

melissa0726

I'm lucky in that my husband works from home and that his schedule is more dictated by projects than straight hours.  But he did take two weeks "off" from regular work.  He did take phone calls, but nothing near the normal hours he usually puts in. 

Agree with PP that your husband will probably feel differently when the baby is here.  

btsrc5

My DH got a week paid time and then took an extra two weeks.  DD was in the NICU for 9 days, so it was nice to have him home with us for a little while after she came home.  I needed him to drive me to and from the hospital during the NICU stay, and of course he wanted to be with DD too. 

This time around, our plan is 1-2 weeks depending on the baby.  I do not have help close by though; we are all on our own. 

atangiblewish

My FI is taking 3 days off. I'm still not sure how long my leave will be, because like you, I don't quailfy for FMLA yet.

Corleyrae

My husband gets to use his 3 weeks of vacation first and either with FML or sick days he could stretch it to 6 weeks. I think even with twins a week or two will be enough. We have ZERO family in the area and minimal friends since most have relocated again. I will really depend. I honestly think he could work from home and not count vacation since his boss is so nice but we arent counting on that. If I go on bed rest or preterm he automatically gets that time off until the babies arrive which I find nice and odd at the same time.

We will play it by ear. bBut Im tired or all the relatives getting butt hurt that we wont travel home this year. Um... where do you think well get the time?!

TriciaandSean

Our situation was different last time since Kieran went straight to the NICU for three weeks.  My son was born on a Wednesday evening and my husband took the remainder of that week off so we could go see our son.  He did have a flexible work schedule and visited at the NICU when he was in the area but he wasn't there all day like I was (the NICU was an hour from our house).

When our son came home from the hospital he didn't take any remaining time off.

RosyRed87

He works a rotating schedule so he gets 4 days off at a time and it just so happened that with my last baby, I went into labor on his "Friday" so it was good timing. I don't know about this one though. It just depends. He may or may not be able to stay home.

megaroo64

My H will most likely be taking 2 weeks off when the baby is born.  His job automatically gives him the first week, and then he is using the second week from his vacation time.  Honestly, my H ends up wasting vacation time at the end of the year- they have a use it or lose it policy, so he just takes random days starting in  October to make sure he uses it all.  I know he will take some calls and stuff... but it will be way more relaxed. 

gatorwife

DH has been saving his vacation time.  He should have 2 weeks that he can stay home with us. 

flerlgirl

Mrsveinotte:

DH has plant shutdown for 2 weeks in july, so until then I will be alone.  He is going to be at the hosp for the birth and thats about it.

 

Sounds like us! What does your DH do? 

homebird

H has FMLA, so he could take a lot of time off, but it's not paid. So he'll probably only take a few days. My maternity leave is unpaid too and we have bills.

Last time I think he was home for a week?

uticamom87

My husband gets 2 weeks of  paternity leave and then he said he wants to take another 2 weeks off after that using his paid time.

kelseypie

DH works for a small business that is owned by kind of a family friend. He will be asking his boss for 1 to 2 weeks paid. I'm pretty sure he'll at least get a week out of him.

jlaOK

DH took 2 weeks off with DS and he's taking 2 weeks off at the beginning with this one and an additional 2 weeks off when I got back to work.

I think it's reasonable to want him to exhaust his sick and personal days, especially since he'll get more next school year.  I do think it'll depend on when you have the baby, though, because I can see him not wanting to miss the very end of the school year.

dmlk413

My husband will only be taking time off for labor and delivery (if it falls during work  hours).  Because he is new at his job and because of the way they accrue leave time, he won't have any paid leave until 2014. 

 It sucks but all of DH's family lives here and my mom is coming up after the baby is born so I should have plenty of help.

llbta85

I doubt my husband will take any time off.  He is self employed so no sick or vacation time for him.  The first time I was not with DS' father so my mom stayed with me the day we came home from the hospital and then I was flying solo.  It wasn't too bad, but all things considered DS was a great baby.

jane.says

My husband took a week with our first but with our second he took two (and will take two again with our third). One week was not enough for him the first time. Not because I needed the help, but because he wanted to spend more time with our baby. I know not everyone has the luxury of being able to take that much time, but I would say that if your husband has the opportunity to and is able to stay home longer than two days, he may want to for himself (and to help you!).

AvidVertigo

DH has a week of vacation he has not used yet.  I guess he will use that when we go to have the baby if he is still at his same job.  Not sure if he gets a new job what will happen.

nikip6454

When I had DD, DH just moved into a new position at his job and was unable to take time off-like he was off the day I had her (Wednesday) and had to go in part of Thursday and Friday.  He was working 10+ hours a day at the time.  During my maternity leave my grandmother was dying and my mother was staying with her as her nurse.  Needless to say my family was very occupied at the time.  I had zero help physically and mentally. It wasn't ideal (it sucked big time) but I made it work and you will be able to as well. I don't mean that as a pity party, I really just mean that if it comes down to it, you and LO will make it work and be fine, it is meant to be encouraging!

This time, DH is taking about a week after we get home from the hospital and possibly a week or two when I go back to work. My mom also wants to spend time at my house this time! 

The first go round sucked but I feel like having everyone around may be overwhelming!

notquiteblushing

DH gets two weeks paternity leave, then will use one week of vacation he has saved.  After that he hopes to work from home for a few weeks.

emolm

My husband had ten consecutive days off last time and will get the same this time.

lioness13

My DH can't stay home more than a day or two after the baby is here because of a big work project during that time. He'll be able to stay home for a month fully paid after the end of July though.

KHadden26

My husband is going to take a week off. Using vacation days.

superace27

DH will take 2 weeks off using vacation time.  He did the same for our first.  It was/is really important for both of us for him to be around a lot in the beginning for help and bonding.  It will be extra nice this time, since we have another child this time around.  He has a ton of vacation time saved up, so it really isn't an issue for us.  

iggles09

Technically DH doesn't have enough vacation time nor does his company have to comply with FMLA. However, he has an amazing boss and they are giving him 2 weeks to work on research from home. He is in a residency program and would otherwise take a day or two and that is it. 

duffmaker

Well between DH's surgery last month, all the doc apps leading up to it, M's doc apps leading up to her surgery (which thank god wasn't needed in the end), a couple of my apps, and our wedding (which he only took off one day for)... he is officially out of personal/sick time. I'm massively pissed too because he should have been given all new days this month but we just found out that because the company switched owners in September, the new owner isn't giving any new time until then!!!

I guess the office is planning to fudge some papers and get him a few days of paid time off when the baby comes... but we'll be lucky if it's enough for him to just be at the L&D. 

Last year, with M, we got "lucky". He was actually in between jobs for about a month (he had this one lined up already, and HATED his old job, did the math and tightened our belts and he just up and quit early) so I had him home that entire first month with M and it was absolutely marvelous!

AutumnOracle

My hubby qualifies for FMLA(but we can't afford for him to take it).  He will be using a week of vacation around that time.  (I am required to use vacation before taking unpaid time at my office so if baby gets sick the first few months I am back to work he'll need to take the extra pto he has).  If we are lucky his boss is talking about letting him work from home for a while.  So it might be a bit longer.  

vickivt327

I thought I would only want my husband to take a week off after our first, but he ended up taking 2 weeks off and I was so thankful. I was really tired all of the time, and recovering from a csection, so it was really nice to have him there helping.

ConnieRob

With DS, my husband took off the day of the induction which lasted until a c-section the following morning. He took that day off (so 2 days while I was in the  hospital). He went back to work the next day, worked that full day and half the next until I was released from the hospital that afternoon. My Mom came down that night (it was a friday). DH went back to work Mon-Thursday the following week while my Mom was there. She went home Thursday night and he stayed home with us on friday and returned to work on Monday.

So, I basically had someone with me (DH, Mom or nurses) for the first week and a half. We're planning on doing pretty much the same thing this time around.

RedCherry1109

Mine will use his vacation time and stay home a week with me. I'm having a c-section,so I'll need the help. Once he goes back to work I have my sister that lives down the road from us and my mom that lives 12 miles away. Luckily the baby is due in the summer so I don't have to worry about getting DS1 back and forth to school. 

hockeygrl

After reading everyones reply it makes me love DH boss and company more.  He gets a month of paternity leave.  So he will be with me for 4 weeks.  I feel really blessed.