Very long vent - Some NBR

AvidVertigo

Feel free to join in with me to vent too.  I just need to get some stuff off my mind and chest.

1.  I love my DH to death.  He has been trying to find a new job because the current situation we have there is no way we can afford 2 in daycare, nor can we afford for me to just SAH.  He hasn't been getting ANY phone calls.  I'm starting to really get freaked out about everything considering I will be 20 weeks on Wednesday.  I know we are halfway to induction day today so this is weighing on my mind more than anything else.  I carry DS's and my insurance, so I have my hands tied right now.  I feel like his current job might be leading some people to think foul things of my DH, but he simply took this job to support us (it was the first thing that came open for him after he lost his job after my father passed away last year - also he was denied unemployment so, we were living off our savings and my paychecks).

2.  Our tax refund was amazing last year.  I should have never thought it would be stellar this year too.  It's probably going to be close to 2k less this year.  I was counting on this money to pay all my medical bills.

3.  My DS fell at daycare and sliced his forehead open on Wednesday.  We had to go to the ER (after we went to the doctors office and determined it was to the bone) and get 6 stitches.  So now, we are going to have that bill on top of all my other med bills that are pouring in.  

4.  DH is at his best friends house tonight for a super bowl party.  We (DS and I) are at home because he wanted us to get a sitter for DS.  I wanted DH to get out of the house and get stuff off his mind, so I'm at home watching Yo Gabba Gabba looping on our TV.  None of our friends have kids, so we don't really get to go out with adults anymore since they want nothing to do with our kiddo.

5.  My brother called me tonight and asked me to be a Lector for his wedding.  My mom is pissed at him and told him that she doesn't even know if she wants to go to his wedding now.  She told him it was a slap in my face not to include me in the bridal party.  I told her that she needed to calm down and I am fine being a Lector, only because I will have a 11 month old baby I will be breastfeeding and DS will be almost 4, so I will have my hands full.  Plus, I won't be required to stay for the entire dance and can come and go as I please without everyone being on my butt.  She feels like they are not including us because my brother and I aren't that close and she is also upset that her brother will be in the wedding.  I told my mom to just let it go and it's their wedding to decide what is important to them.  I just hate my family fighting like this, but she honestly will not let it go and mentioned tonight that she doesn't even want to throw my future SIL a shower now.  Ugggg, I told her we would plan it together and it will be fine.

A cookie if you got through all of this.  Sorry, I just don't have a ton of people IRL that I can really talk this stuff out to - especially all the financial stuff.  I even have a hard time talking to my mom about it all.

heavenpaige

AvidVertigo:

Feel free to join in with me to vent too.nbsp; I just need to get some stuff off my mind and chest.1.nbsp; I love my DH to death.nbsp; He has been trying to find a new job because the current situation we have there is no way we can afford 2 in daycare, nor can we afford for me to just SAH.nbsp; He hasn't been getting ANY phone calls.nbsp; I'm starting to really get freaked out about everything considering I will be 20 weeks on Wednesday.nbsp; I know we are halfway to induction day today so this is weighing on my mind more than anything else.nbsp; I carry DS's and my insurance, so I have my hands tied right now.nbsp; I feel like his current job might be leading some people to think foul things of my DH, but he simply took this job to support us it was the first thing that came open for him after he lost his job after my father passed away last year also he was denied unemployment so, we were living off our savings and my paychecks.2.nbsp; Our tax refund was amazing last year.nbsp; I should have never thought it would be stellar this year too.nbsp; It's probably going to be close to 2k less this year.nbsp; I was counting on this money to pay all my medical bills.3.nbsp; My DS fell at daycare and sliced his forehead open on Wednesday.nbsp; We had to go to the ER after we went to the doctors office and determined it was to the bone and get 6 stitches.nbsp; So now, we are going to have that bill on top of all my other med bills that are pouring in. nbsp;4.nbsp; DH is at his best friends house tonight for a super bowl party.nbsp; We DS and I are at home because he wanted us to get a sitter for DS.nbsp; I wanted DH to get out of the house and get stuff off his mind, so I'm at home watching Yo Gabba Gabba looping on our TV.nbsp; None of our friends have kids, so we don't really get to go out with adults anymore since they want nothing to do with our kiddo.5.nbsp; My brother called me tonight and asked me to be a Lector for his wedding.nbsp; My mom is pissed at him and told him that she doesn't even know if she wants to go to his wedding now.nbsp; She told him it was a slap in my face not to include me in the bridal party.nbsp; I told her that she needed to calm down and I am fine being a Lector, only because I will have a 11 month old baby I will be breastfeeding and DS will be almost 4, so I will have my hands full.nbsp; Plus, I won't be required to stay for the entire dance and can come and go as I please without everyone being on my butt.nbsp; She feels like they are not including us because my brother and I aren't that close and she is also upset that her brother will be in the wedding.nbsp; I told my mom to just let it go and it's their wedding to decide what is important to them.nbsp; I just hate my family fighting like this, but she honestly will not let it go and mentioned tonight that she doesn't even want to throw my future SIL a shower now.nbsp; Ugggg, I told her we would plan it together and it will be fine.A cookie if you got through all of this.nbsp; Sorry, I just don't have a ton of people IRL that I can really talk this stuff out to especially all the financial stuff.nbsp; I even have a hard time talking to my mom about it all.

I think I'm pretty much in the same boat as you except I am a sahm with 2 boys and a girl on the way. I wanna work but only way that can happen is if I work nights. DH loves where he works but I think they don't pay him enough for all the stuff he does now...he just got promoted.

AvidVertigo

BrassyClarinet:

If you're interested in learning some budget and financing skills, DH and I found Dave Ramsey's series to be really helpful in getting us on the road to being financially sound.

 I know how the job scene is; took DH months to find a job when we moved down here for my career, and even his new job is way below his education and ability level. It's ridiculously tough out there right now.  Good luck.

 

I didn't mention we just finished a year long financial makeover through our credit union.  We ended up getting some great tips and saved a bunch of money and also paid alot of debt off.  We've cut out a lot of things and budget monthly.  I think we will end up draining all our emergency fund and other savings with bills, plus some.  I'm more worried about our budget after we have 2 in daycare because we are seeing nothing but red no matter how we look at it. 

 That being said, I am Christian and I do believe in the power of prayer.  I have been praying a ton lately, but nothing seems to be working out.  I'm just getting worried, which I am sure you guys can understand. 

AvidVertigo

heavenpaige:

AvidVertigo:

Feel free to join in with me to vent too.nbsp; I just need to get some stuff off my mind and chest.1.nbsp; I love my DH to death.nbsp; He has been trying to find a new job because the current situation we have there is no way we can afford 2 in daycare, nor can we afford for me to just SAH.nbsp; He hasn't been getting ANY phone calls.nbsp; I'm starting to really get freaked out about everything considering I will be 20 weeks on Wednesday.nbsp; I know we are halfway to induction day today so this is weighing on my mind more than anything else.nbsp; I carry DS's and my insurance, so I have my hands tied right now.nbsp; I feel like his current job might be leading some people to think foul things of my DH, but he simply took this job to support us it was the first thing that came open for him after he lost his job after my father passed away last year also he was denied unemployment so, we were living off our savings and my paychecks.2.nbsp; Our tax refund was amazing last year.nbsp; I should have never thought it would be stellar this year too.nbsp; It's probably going to be close to 2k less this year.nbsp; I was counting on this money to pay all my medical bills.3.nbsp; My DS fell at daycare and sliced his forehead open on Wednesday.nbsp; We had to go to the ER after we went to the doctors office and determined it was to the bone and get 6 stitches.nbsp; So now, we are going to have that bill on top of all my other med bills that are pouring in. nbsp;4.nbsp; DH is at his best friends house tonight for a super bowl party.nbsp; We DS and I are at home because he wanted us to get a sitter for DS.nbsp; I wanted DH to get out of the house and get stuff off his mind, so I'm at home watching Yo Gabba Gabba looping on our TV.nbsp; None of our friends have kids, so we don't really get to go out with adults anymore since they want nothing to do with our kiddo.5.nbsp; My brother called me tonight and asked me to be a Lector for his wedding.nbsp; My mom is pissed at him and told him that she doesn't even know if she wants to go to his wedding now.nbsp; She told him it was a slap in my face not to include me in the bridal party.nbsp; I told her that she needed to calm down and I am fine being a Lector, only because I will have a 11 month old baby I will be breastfeeding and DS will be almost 4, so I will have my hands full.nbsp; Plus, I won't be required to stay for the entire dance and can come and go as I please without everyone being on my butt.nbsp; She feels like they are not including us because my brother and I aren't that close and she is also upset that her brother will be in the wedding.nbsp; I told my mom to just let it go and it's their wedding to decide what is important to them.nbsp; I just hate my family fighting like this, but she honestly will not let it go and mentioned tonight that she doesn't even want to throw my future SIL a shower now.nbsp; Ugggg, I told her we would plan it together and it will be fine.A cookie if you got through all of this.nbsp; Sorry, I just don't have a ton of people IRL that I can really talk this stuff out to especially all the financial stuff.nbsp; I even have a hard time talking to my mom about it all.

I think I'm pretty much in the same boat as you except I am a sahm with 2 boys and a girl on the way. I wanna work but only way that can happen is if I work nights. DH loves where he works but I think they don't pay him enough for all the stuff he does now...he just got promoted.

My DH is a Store Manager in retail.  He brought home 30k last year (that includes his bonuses) and works 50-60 hours a week.  The reason it is hurting his resume is because it is an Adult Store that he works at.  He is the only store manager there and cannot get any raises.  

Wish82

I'm so sorry. That's a lot going on right now. I was surprised with our taxes, too, this year. We're not even getting back half what we have in the past. Hope it all gets better soon. 

lioness13

AvidVertigo:

That being said, I am Christian and I do believe in the power of prayer.nbsp; I have been praying a ton lately, but nothing seems to be working out.nbsp; I'm just getting worried, which I am sure you guys can understand.nbsp; :

Keep praying and have faith that God is going to wok it out. I have not had the same worries as you but I have had some of my own. My faith has brought me through and I have been blessed. I will say a prayer for you. What has helped me through is meditating on Philippians 4:67
New International Version NIV:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

AvidVertigo

BrassyClarinet:

That's tough. But hey, everything happens for a reason, and God's got something special for you out there!

I searched for a teaching job for 2 years back home with  no success, and finally after a lot of prayer decided to expand my search away from home. DH and I took the plunge and moved five hours away so I could begin my career once and for all, despite the fact that he was close to a promotion himself back home.

Once we got here, it was very difficult. The students are tough and the demographic much more challenging than my po-dunk little town, and the first month of school I cried every night. 

However, things are much better now, and I know that after working here with the experiences I have I'll be able to pretty much have the pick of the litter once we go home.  DH also finally found a job after a few tough months that will help him get a better job down the road as well.

Is it easy? Hell no. I still have a good cry about once a month, filled with guilt at how I made DH leave a job he loved so I could be teaching down here and not be entirely thrilled with it.

My point is that you have to have the tough times so you appreciate the good! You guys will make it; and you'll be SO much stronger for it! Good luck!

thank you for posting this.  I know we all have our own struggles and i cannot imagine what you went through and are still facing.  I do believe God has great things in store for us.  Its just getting there that is the challenge.  I really hope DH gets a good phone call this week.  I would love that.  I just need to pray longer and harder.

AvidVertigo

BrassyClarinet:

That's tough. But hey, everything happens for a reason, and God's got something special for you out there!

I searched for a teaching job for 2 years back home with  no success, and finally after a lot of prayer decided to expand my search away from home. DH and I took the plunge and moved five hours away so I could begin my career once and for all, despite the fact that he was close to a promotion himself back home.

Once we got here, it was very difficult. The students are tough and the demographic much more challenging than my po-dunk little town, and the first month of school I cried every night. 

However, things are much better now, and I know that after working here with the experiences I have I'll be able to pretty much have the pick of the litter once we go home.  DH also finally found a job after a few tough months that will help him get a better job down the road as well.

Is it easy? Hell no. I still have a good cry about once a month, filled with guilt at how I made DH leave a job he loved so I could be teaching down here and not be entirely thrilled with it.

My point is that you have to have the tough times so you appreciate the good! You guys will make it; and you'll be SO much stronger for it! Good luck!

thank you for posting this.  I know we all have our own struggles and i cannot imagine what you went through and are still facing.  I do believe God has great things in store for us.  Its just getting there that is the challenge.  I really hope DH gets a good phone call this week.  I would love that.  I just need to pray longer and harder.

AvidVertigo

Wish82:

I'm so sorry. That's a lot going on right now. I was surprised with our taxes, too, this year. We're not even getting back half what we have in the past. Hope it all gets better soon. 

 is it true no child tax credit next year??  I heard that somewhere.  We will be able to long form next year with the medical bills

Wish82

AvidVertigo:

Wish82:

I'm so sorry. That's a lot going on right now. I was surprised with our taxes, too, this year. We're not even getting back half what we have in the past. Hope it all gets better soon. 

 is it true no child tax credit next year??  I heard that somewhere.  We will be able to long form next year with the medical bills

 Oh I don't know about that. I think we're going to meet with a tax pro this year to make sure we're maximizing stuff, and plan better for next year.  Maybe I'll find something out then. 

WhitWed

Sounds really stressful and I'm so sorry you have this full plate during your pregnancy.  I hope something great opens up for your DH soon!  I also know how good it feels to sometimes just get it all out.

Right now we are dealing with DH starting a new busy job, DD starting a new daycare, selling our house, moving into a new one, and having our best friends move away (we have no family around so that was our only life line in this state).  It's almost like starting over totally alone in a new house with a new baby coming. Kind of intimidating.  I always think of the Christmas song lyric "next year all our troubles will be miles away..." and they usually are. 

MrsBarron90

lioness13:

AvidVertigo:

That being said, I am Christian and I do believe in the power of prayer.nbsp; I have been praying a ton lately, but nothing seems to be working out.nbsp; I'm just getting worried, which I am sure you guys can understand.nbsp; :

Keep praying and have faith that God is going to wok it out. I have not had the same worries as you but I have had some of my own. My faith has brought me through and I have been blessed. I will say a prayer for you. What has helped me through is meditating on Philippians 4:67
New International Version NIV:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This! Praying for favor and peace over your family. I know it's much easier said than done but He provides. :hug:

AvidVertigo

Thanks to everyone who posted here.  You all are making me feel better.  I am deciding to call it a night (DH is still at his super bowl party) and going in to pray and meditate on all my issues and get some shut eye.  I appreciate everything that was said in this post.