Please help...CIO methods?

hopefulmom81

DD is a very inconsistent sleeper.

Some nights, she will sleep 730-230 without an issue, wake up have a quick bottle and go back down until morning time.

Other nights, she goes down at 730, is up at 11, 2, and 4.  I will try pacifying her in every way I can think of, but ultimately she wants a bottle. 

I completely understand that I have allowed her to form an association with waking up and falling back asleep after a bottle.

So...I assume the only way to deal with this is CIO.  What methods of CIO have worked for you?  I have read all of the books Ferber, No Cry Sleep Solution, etc, but I don't think some cookie cutter method is really what is going to work here.

When you pop into the nursery in the midst of CIO, what do you do?  Do you touch them?  Do you just say something reassuring and leave quickly and then go back in a few minutes?  Have you tried completely letting them CIO without going in the nursery?  That feels so mean to me, and I am going to struggle to not pick her up and comfort her, but I am hitting the end of my exhaustion rope.

My ped said that around 9 months they no longer need a bottle at night, so I feel comfortable trying to "fix" this issue.

Suggestions?  Help! 

mben1119

Ds still legitimately needs a bottle sometimes overnight, and he's 14 months. Age is such an arbitrary factor in whether they are ready to sttn or not. If Lo is really hungry, and drinking an entire bottle would indicate that, then I would guess its too early to CIO.

hopefulmom81

mabenner1:

Ds still legitimately needs a bottle sometimes overnight, and he's 14 months. Age is such an arbitrary factor in whether they are ready to sttn or not. If Lo is really hungry, and drinking an entire bottle would indicate that, then I would guess its too early to CIO.

Totally, and I am fine with the 2:30 feeding, it just gets a bit excessive waking up at 11 and 4 as well, don't you think?   It seems the issue is beyond just being hungry at that point. 

mben1119

hopefulmom81:

mabenner1:

Ds still legitimately needs a bottle sometimes overnight, and he's 14 months. Age is such an arbitrary factor in whether they are ready to sttn or not. If Lo is really hungry, and drinking an entire bottle would indicate that, then I would guess its too early to CIO.

Totally, and I am fine with the 2:30 feeding, it just gets a bit excessive waking up at 11 and 4 as well, don't you think?   It seems the issue is beyond just being hungry at that point. 

Not if Lo is teething, or going through a growth spurt, or not feeling well. There's a million and one reasons your Lo may not be sttn. Some babies don't until well after a year old. It's tough, and it sucks, but they do push through it.

bitsybubbles7

We did a version based on SleepEasy Solution.  We did it when lo was 6 months (we dropped his paci at the same time) and it took about 2-3 days to fully work.  I recommend starting on a weekend.  Basically we gave lo his bottle, cuddled him, and put him in the crib when he was drowsy, but awake and left the room.

The first night we checked at intervals of 5, 10, and 15 minutes (staying at 15 the rest of the night).  I don't remember how long it took, but he was out within 30 minutes and when he woke in the night, he went back to sleep relatively quickly.  The second night we checked at 10 and the 15 minutes (staying at 15 again) and he cried less.  By the third night (15 minute checks), he was out in 5 minutes and sttn. 

SES says not to touch the baby, well that just ticked lo off royally.  So we would come in pick him up, hug him, and lay him back down.  The whole exchange took about 30-60 seconds, because the goal is to have lo rely on himself to get to sleep.  

Good Luck Mama!!!! We've all been there!  

cmsdouglas

We had this problem, too.  We did Ferber just this week and it is amazing how much better sleep we are all getting and how much happier DD is now!

When I went in for checks, I would put her paci back in, lay her down (she was often standing), cover her up, pat her back, and tell her I love her.  It took less than a minute and I was out again.  She cried for 30 minutes the first night, 5 minutes the second night, and 2 or 3 minutes a couple times since then.  Mostly, she's been going straight down right away since the 3rd night, though.  

 She still legitimately needs to eat at night, so I nurse her when she wakes up (usually once, sometimes twice - we'll cut out the second nursing in the next couple of weeks) but I always make sure she's awake when I lay her back down so that she's falling asleep on her own.

All in all, it was totally worth it - I held out for a long time because I was feeling it was mean.  I was wrong - it was totally worth it and we are all happier!

Edited to finish after baby hit post too early!

 

KatFCo

We've started reducing the amount in DS's bottles to help wean him off the nighttime feedings and it's actually helped him not wake up as much. If he seems hungry after a small bottle, we still give him more, but we're trying to gradually reduce it.

I'm also trying to slowly work on the No Cry Sleep Solution--teaching him to go to sleep on his own without CIO. Personally, I think it's cruel to let babies cry for extended periods of time. I realize it's worked for some people and sometimes people are at the end of their rope, but it's just not for me.

Like pps have said, though, he may not be ready to sttn. Despite what people say, a lot of babies don't.

Amanda2011

I give lo 10 mins to see if she will go back to sleep. Some times it works other times not. The book. Have said that if she think the baby really is hungry it's ok to feed but just don't let them fall back asleep eating. This will help break the sleep prop of needing a bottle to get back to bed. About 50% of the time she now sleeps all night. It's had to keep her awake. I leave the hall light on and tickle her face if she starts to fall asleep. Good luck 

justadogmommy

the sleep easy solution. follow it and do not pick up. do checkin every 5,10, and 15 until falls asleep: it works. no a baby does not need a bottle at night at this age. I sleep trained at 4 months and cut out night feeds with pedi approval and she did sleep training too!! good luck.

MollySm

We do extinction CIO from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. Lucia doesn't respond well to checkins, they piss her off. So Ferber doesn't work for us. We can see her on the video monitor, but we don't go in unless there is a reason she might be hungry or there is an actual problem.

Irishgingersnap

We sleep trained at 3 months through a company called WeeSleep. www.weesleep.ca. My DS has STTN since then 12 hours per night. Their method is to let baby cry for 10 min and then go in and reassure, calm down, (pick up only if they don't stop crying and then put them back down once calm) and then leave the room. Repeat as many times as necessary.  One thing that helped me get through 10 minutes of crying was to actually look at the clock when timing. Don't assume it's been 10 minutes because each minute can feel like 5 when a baby is crying. Going in too frequently just confuses the baby. When we were going through the training process it was amazing how many times my DS didn't even make it to the 10 min mark.  In terms of night feeding its a very bad idea to feed in the middle of the night. It's a major prop and does not teach them independant sleeping. Their last big feed before bed in plenty to get them through the night. Good Luck!

 

kmc1109

We did a modified ferber method around 5 months.  We put her down drowsy and then would wait 3 minutes to go back and check on her.  We never went more than 10 minutes between checks.   When we would go in to check on her we didn't pick her up, just placed her on her stomach, if she had rolled, gave her back her pacifier, shushed her a little, rubbed her back and then left the room.  The first night was hard, but after that it only took 2 more nights for her to go down to sleep without fussing.

It's not for everyone but it worked for us and now we have a baby that STTN for at least 12 hours. 

Rhonda6754

My pediatrician said that we are getting to the age where they just want to be with you and will cry to get you to come to them.  She suggested our not going into our girls' (twins) room until they have cried for 20 minutes.  She explained that it's more difficult for the babies to see you and then have you disappear again.  She also said that they will have a little more interrupted sleep right now due to dreams and transitioning sleep cycles.

That being said, our girls are sleeping through the night now and have been for months.  We're just getting over a cold so that threw us for a loop again but we have let them CIO with checks at 5-10 minute intervals. I would pick them up (against everyone's opinions to never pick them up) and rock them until they were drowsy again.  We are trying to let them settle back down on their own now if they do get up.  It's painful to hear them cry but usually within 5 minutes they are back down by themselves.

Natali25

I agree with PP. You have to know your child and sometimes be willing to try multiple things to figure out what works. We tried SleepEasy at around 6months. It worked for a while and then DS got a double ear infection and cold. Out the window with the sleep training. Then he was used to us putting him back to sleep. But we just started the training back up a few weeks ago, right at 9 months and he's been sleeping like a champ.

We still use SleepEasy. I think it's similar to Ferber method. You do check-ins every 3-5-10-15min until they fall asleep. Our second go around we decided not to even do the check-ins because earlier when we did sleep training it made him much more irritated and he would cry a lot harder. DS is now asleep in about 10min every night and he sttn most nights. He'll still wake up when teething.

Don't touch them unless they need something. Otherwise they'll think you're going to pick them up. However, you need to do what's best for you and your child. Everyone is different. I just loved the SleepEasy book. They give you their way of doing it but then offered ways to tweak it if you don't like it a certain way.